sundries

[rm]

Yesterday, I ran into someone on my friendslist misusing the word mensch (this is not at all about calling her out as she was totally cool about the whole thing and it was all very nice and amicable and even funny; this is about correcting a misunderstanding other people may also have), which is a Yiddish word meaning a good, stand-up, honorable guy (in plain old German is apparently just means "human," but I don't speak German, so if anyone wants to correct me on that, please do). Colloquially in the US this word is also used as regards women. It can mean a "gentleman," but it's less about holding doors and more about doing the right thing in ethically complex situations, where you could get away with taking the easy path but you choose not to.

Sometimes, I even tell people they're being mensches. And sometimes, I've gotten a negative reaction to that. Apparently there's some SFF book out there (I totally can't remember, maybe one of you knows), that uses mensch to mean something like a mundane or a muggle. In trying to Google around to find this (it turns out it's from the Death Gate series as keelieinblack tells us in comments -- thank god, because I really good not get this to happen for me in Google), I also discovered mensch being used to mean "snitch." Further research into that made it pretty clear that this usage was a specifically anti-Semitic sentiment relating to people informing on their neighbors in Community East Berlin.

Look, there are only two people in my family I really look like. A grandmother who died of cancer when I was a kid but always took ridiculous amounts of time out from being very very ill to pay attention to me even when other people told her not to and a great-grandfather who was a tailor. I never met him, I've just seen a photo and have been told over and over again that he was both intensely shy and soft-spoken and also the most charismatic and handsome person my mother has ever remembered meeting.

He was a quiet man who did labor-intensive craftsmanship; the work of a tailor is detail-oriented, proud and servile; it's weird shit and it's laced through my personal and family narrative. My mother talks about how he was really nearly frightened of everyone on some level, but was always a gracious host and always spent time talking to her at great length at family gatherings, she suspects because she was a child and not only less intimidating, but also as uncomfortable in the room in the same way that he was.

At any rate. These two people? Huge figures in the map of my pretty complicated identity in terms of race, religion and gender. Jews who spoke English, Yiddish and Hebrew. People who took time out for others despite their personal pains and fears. Mensches.

It's not a slur; it's a compliment. It doesn't mean a snitch or a boring person or someone uptight. Most people have no reason to know better if they heard it as something else. I get that. Other places aren't necessarily environmentally Jewish the way New York is. But if what I'm telling you about this word is a newsflash to you, please check your use of the word.

Thanks.

The World Economic Forum released its Global Gender Gap Report. Once again, the Nordic countries came out on top. The US was ranked 31st; that's three slots lower than last year.

Five arrests have been made so far in the gang rape case I mentioned yesterday. This new article contains more appalling information about the assault.

Do women need big flu shots? When I first saw this piece "big" was missing from the title. WTF?!

I find few things eerier than the mourning rituals of animals.

I offer you the friendly fresh fish of frigidity. Actually, I don't, but man, that alliteration is AMAZING.

pandarus has an amazing kids, animals, havoc story. (It's number 3 in the post).

What do we not do in Rach's journal, kids? We don't fight about CoE (we debate about CoE, but we don't fight about it -- no one is evil except the government and the puking three-headed turkey aliens). So with that little reminder, I enjoyed this AfterElton piece a lot, although I disagreed with it in the sense that I thought Ianto decided to stand up and own his identity before his demise (that is, I read the Clem scene and the whole "Ianto's no good, very bad homosexual day" running joke thing differently). Anyway, it was an interesting viewpoint to see out there. As an aside, I can't believe how randomly utterly gutted I still feel about the whole thing. It just appears on my emotional landscape out of nowhere some days. Quite odd. I value that really, though, as if it's like exercise and hurts in some oddly useful and familiar way.

Gluten-free meals have been secured for me in Zurich for the part of the trip that involves catered meals at a conference. So that's something.

Evan now has a full name. I'm quite pleased. I'm not telling you out of context because it's a running gag that falls apart when I explain it to you out here. Or something. I dunno. Have I ever mentioned I get really, neurotically shy about some aspects of my writing.

Fleshed out my first scene a little more. It's clearer, but has less punch than my first draft (I won't be able to fiddle like this once NaNo really begins). I've also realized it's not the first scene anymore. Nope, the opening scene is actually going to be a magazine interview with Evan, because what a great way to info dump! And it fits in with the whole media/public-lens theme, etc.

DWNY tonight!

Meanwhile, Patty and I are trying to select what haunted house-like things to attend in the pre-Halloween warm-up over the next few days. This is mainly her department as she is our Halloween expert and fan of all things scary-ish. I'm just along for the ride. Should be fun. I can yelp and cower in her arms. Have I mentioned I have no dignity?

Comments

[lefaym.livejournal.com]

I found the AfterElton article really interesting too, and I enjoyed reading the comments (although some of them were rather stupid, on both sides of the discussion).

I find the author's take on J/I well-thought out, but I agree with a lot of the commenters who say that her reading doesn't actually hold up due to the lack of development for the J/I relationship -- particularly insofar as Jack in CoE seemed to care very little for Ianto's happiness (and didn't even thank him for the whole rescue on Day Two), and a lot of the time (whenever death wasn't imminent) gave the impression that he wished Ianto was not there. Regardless of what the writers intended, this has the effect of valorising the Gwen/Rhys relationship and treating J/I as something superficial in comparison, particularly on Jack's part. I mean, I don't think killing Ianto was homophobic in and of itself, but the way it was done means that, for less reflexive viewers, CoE will reinforce pervasive assumptions that same-sex relationships are less valid than heterosexual relationships.

(Though I am aware of the flip-side of this, which is some straight women using the charge of homophobia as a sort of booster-box to justify their own dislike of CoE -- in effect, they are using queer issues as a weapon, rather than actually taking those issues on as a cause.)