sundries

[rm]

Paul Cornell weighed in on queer equality and religion this morning. The piece is great in it its own right, but I think says something even more important if you've ever experienced just how conflict averse Paul is (I don't know him well at all, but we've had ocassion to share dismay over the potential outcome of controversial con panels we've been on). Speak up. Stop letting the fringe elements of your communities (whatever they may be) make the hate noise.

ellen_kushner has announced The Man with the Knives. This is SUPERCOOL and I actually have a great deal to say about it, but cannot, in fact, until you all have read the story (which us lucky folks at the NYRSF reading back in December got to hear).

Last night two more Buffy episodes. The first one turned out to be the first one I really didn't like. Inca Mummy Girl. Okay, I felt bad for the Inca Mummy Girl, I did, and Willow was supercute dressed as an Eskimo but SO MUCH FAIL. And then Buffy said "gyped" and I was like really Joss? REALLY?.

bodlon, go look at Gally schedule 4.1. You've just been bumped onto the "Second Stage". Happy fucking Birthday to you.

Patty and I are currently undecided on Lunacon this year. Who's going?

I've really got to come up with something to pitch to Infinitus, but it's just not flowing. Well, I've another ten days.

I had an awesome bit of academic correspondence just now.

The Chocri is here! I need to make time to pick it up at the post office.

I have solved a horrible problem I was having with regard to a classic Mars story I want to write.

HEADSHOTS TOMORROW TERROR.

Evangelical chruches promoting MMA to appeal to young men. While martial arts and spirituality have a long and understandable history of linkage, this makes me incredibly uncomfortable.

One in three UK children believe their teachers are aliens. I blame Doctor Who.

Saving tiny toads! Ah, alliteration.

The first gay male kiss in mainstream Indian cinema is expected to pass censors.

The Don't Ask, Don't Tell repeal process is underway. Article says that separate facilities for gay and straight soldiers were "never seriously considered" but had to be considered in order to rule them out. It also says benefits for gay spouses have to be considered; will be interesting to watch just how this bangs up against DoMA.

sparkindarkness writes about the NHS paying for ex-gay therapy.

nancylebov links us to an article about a happy, out gay man who underwent "conversion therapy" as part of a journalistic exercise. And it fucked with his head. In the mid-90s I briefly entered therapy in the hopes of getting some tools to deal with the particularly horrific tenor of my relationship with my parents at the time.

As a matter of random background context for my existence (unrelated to my parents) in a "who are the people I may mention during sessions," I mentioned my bisexuality (my preferred label at the time, which I know find to be not as comprehensive as it could be). And, in case you missed it my sexuality has never been a particular source of stress to me in terms of my own self-worth.

Anyway... the therapist suddenly launched into explaining to me that I was bisexual (and pagan) merely because I was trying to reclaim the love of both my mother and father... blah blah blah blah blah.

I sort of brushed it off, because it was so never going to come up again (the parental drama was about other things entirely), but here's the deal: nearly 15 years later, I don't remember the therapists name, anything he said related to why I was there, or in fact ANYTHING, other than him saying this.

I am a happy, out, queer person who believes both that I am hard-wired to be queer and that I choose this life (I refuse the strict adherence to the genetic only argument as a defense against bigots) because it is a better, more interesting one for me. And I was a happy, out, queer person with that same outlook in 1996.

But sometimes I still wonder, because of this one guy and his off-hand remark, if I just make other people uncomfortable because, to be flip, my parents never loved me enough (they love me a great deal, just not in ways I always get).

Get it?

Comments

[dulcinbradbury.livejournal.com]

I'll be at Lunacon. :)

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

Amen on that - anti-bigotry Christians (and other faiths) need to stop letting the haters dominate. It's bad for us and it's bad for them


And the latter pretty much sums up why I an very very very adverse to any kind of therapy. Because far too many are going to use it as an excuse to abuse me for my sexuality - and I don't think that trust has been rebuilt yet

[filkerdave.livejournal.com]

I'll be at Lunacon, but there's a nontrivial chance it will only be for Saturday.

[eumelia.livejournal.com]

When I was in therapy one of the first things I mentioned was that I'm bi and I've already done the whole "soul searching" thing, so any problems I have are not because I have unresolved sexuality feelings.
My shrink took it to hear and was very positive as during my time in therapy I was involved with more than one gender.

Regardless, therapy is far too easily abused and "conversion" therapy freaks me the fuck out! And that article in the Independent was just boggling - prayers, birth trauma, Freemasonry?!?!

In the words of Eddie Izzard: Quoi?!

[firinel.livejournal.com]

Could it be more that Buffy was the sort of character that would say gyped? It was certainly used copiously in my high school, and it hadn't really occurred to me what it meant/referred to and that I should stop using it LOONG after I'd done similar with other words ("indian giver" being a popular phrase in my elementary that I pretty much immediately thought "really?" about). But I don't know how much others had that sort of awareness, and certainly don't know how much that character would have.

[blergeatkitty.livejournal.com]

The first rule of Fight Club is, you tell everyone the good news about Fight Club?

WHAT. THE. FUCK.

And the fact that they're teaching young men to beat the shit out of stuff as a way of promoting patriarchy is just icing on the failcake.

[scarlettgirl.livejournal.com]

FWIW, I don't think anyone likes Inca Mummy Girl. S2 has some loudly obnoxious clunkers.

The whole MMA/Evangelical/Doin' for the Lord vibe is incredibly creepy. The appropriation of culture is enough to give pause but this...no.

[redstapler.livejournal.com]

I remain both conflicted and undecided over Lunacon.

[silmaril.livejournal.com]

Inca Mummy Girl is really full of fail, and it is the token "bad Buffy episode" of that season. That is to say, everyone who talks about Season 2 of Buffy mentions that as the "huhwha really?" episode.

[aviv-b.livejournal.com]

Grrrr..I get so sick of therapy being used to 'cure' someone of something that ISN'T A PROBLEM. You can suppress anything if the penalty for not doing so is large enough.

As witness we have the good Rev Haggard who apparently had been cured of his 'gayness' by three weeks of therapy. Good luck with that.
http://www.denverpost.com/ci_5164921. Personally, I'm waiting for his head to explode from the cognitive dissonance he must be experiencing.

[xtricks.livejournal.com]

Yeah. Today seems to be a queer!fail in the interwebs in a number of ways. There was also the American Family Radio Host who wants to imprison all gays and force them through 'effective reparative therapy' because they spread AIDs.

http://www.alan.com/2010/02/02/american-family-association-radio-host-says-imprison-gays/

ETA: better link: http://joemygod.blogspot.com/2010/01/american-family-association-radio-host.html

I'm feeling rather irratable today. I can't imagine why.

[idunn.livejournal.com]

The conversion article boggles the mind. The psychiatrist professor whom Strudwick consults says that the "therapists" in this article should have their membership revoked, but I'm curious how this situation is being handled in the US and England in general. I mean, conversation therapy has a loud voice here in the States where I'm from, so aren't psychiatric organizations and licensing bodies noticing and revoking licenses and whatnot?

[rusty_halo.livejournal.com]

Wow, I totally forgot that Inca Mummy Girl existed. Season two is generally pretty fantastic, but that's definitely one to skip.

[kdsorceress.livejournal.com]

Inca Mummy Girl does have REALLY DAMN ADORABLE Willow/Oz though. Which doesn't change the fail at all, but Willow/Oz! Ee! I love Oz, probably more than any other character in the show.

Also, you're the only person I know who's going through the episodes around the same time as me, so I'm gonna squee a lot at you. Until you pass me, at which point I'll pout.

~Sor

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

If DADT is repealed, spouse benefits are the next thing which will have to be considered, in a big way.

You'd think this wouldn't be that much of an issue until there is a federal ruling about same-sex marriages, possibly. But. What if someone marries his or her partner in a country where it's legal? The military needs a fair policy on this to ensure partners have the same benefits I do.

[nicoli-dominn.livejournal.com]

About that Buffy episode, I do remember that that was among the episodes in the first few seasons. My general opinion of those first few seasons is that pretty much all of the subject matter was not as weighty or emotionally intense, and that sometimes, Whedon got carried away with his own brand of campy humor. I think he was a lot less careful with the quality of the subject matter in some of the "filler" episodes, such as the mummy episode. Plus...while Whedon has a lot of great ideas about feminism and sheroes, and even good ideas about queer relationships, I don't think he's as conscious about cultural heritage or race. You'll see this in, I think, season five - there's an episode where Xander accidentally disturbs a Native American tribal burial ground and unleashes a curse in the form of an angry Native American. Willow's reaction to it all is pretty standard, but the way the Native American is represented is just...ehhhhhh. ::queasy::

[alba17.livejournal.com]

ROFL re: kids in UK thinking their teachers are aliens. SRSLY??? Still laughing here... yep, let's blame Dr. Who.

[weirdquark]

Evangelical churches promoting MMA to appeal to young men. While martial arts and spirituality have a long and understandable history of linkage, this makes me incredibly uncomfortable.

They're just never going to promote "if you meet Christ on the road, kill him" as a related concept.

[crewgrrl.livejournal.com]

I'll be at Lunacon, not that I think it'll tip the balance for you :).

[imaginarycircus.livejournal.com]

I felt bad for the Inca Mummy Girl too. I like the "villians" who muddy the water between good and evil. Well, there are a lot more Gypsy story lines coming and I still don't know what to think about them.

[missdeanna.livejournal.com]

Regarding the MMA/Evangelist thing...yeah, that kind of creeps me out, too. I used to study Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, and there was a lot of machismo and homophobia there.

The "conversion therapy" thing is just depressing.

[norda.livejournal.com]

I will be at Lunacon.

Good luck with the headshots!

[better-late24.livejournal.com]

...so if I'm mostly straight, am I just mostly trying to reclaim the love of my father? That boggles the mind.

[delchi.livejournal.com]

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0419081/

This has some interesting things about formerly accepted conversion therapy, and how it made some folks heads less than stable.

The part that spooked me was the hypnosis and repeating of mantra about no longer wanting to be homosexual.

The scene that really made me take notice was when a man undergoes a submissive session, then after all is said and done he places money on the table - one coin for each of the three women who domed him. They stood with their backs to him and as each coin was placed on the table one would courtesy ... except for the last one, who refused.

[ookpik.livejournal.com]

I plan to be at Lunacon, and would be glad to have a chance to meet you.