Oh, I totally feel you, I thought it was just me too! I tried so many times, explaining the part where basically, Spike had been conditioned by Buffy that "no" meant "yes," and how no one had issues with her beating the shit out of him, tormenting him, ignoring when he said no, but the second he stepped past a line that people decided was there, it Was All Wrong and Spike was evil again. Everyone I said that too basically wrote ME off as trying to excuse attempted rape. So I stopped. Because it wasn't worth arguing. But yeah, felt totally alone in that perspective back when this was all going on. So glad we weren't! Or aren't now, anyway.