I was trained, from the very first moment of sentient life I can recall to never take a risk, to never make a mistake and put everyone else above me.

With respect to your experiences and my ignorance of them that does sound like unacceptable parenting to me. While I totally acknowledge how common it is, I still wish to note that things can be done differently- I have endeavored to do so with my young female relatives and I know older female relatives who try to do better with their children.