sundries

[rm]

Long, hot, busy weekend for us with the beach and with Pride. Because of budget cuts in NYC no parade is allowed to last longer than 5 hours now, which meant that Pride felt severely truncated. On the other hand, it meant fewer commercial floats, more efficiency, fewer politicians, religious groups marching together and less boring-ness in general.

On the other hand, it made me sad, but so many of the changes in it have made me sad over the last few years The Bear and Leather contingents are very small now; the pagans barely bother to show up, if at all, the moment of silence (even with one at 1 and one at 3) doesn't work (as in, there is not silence), and no one where we were sitting seemed to have any reaction to the two men carrying the sign about the closure of St. Vincents which is of major historical significant to the gay community as well as being a general public health concern for residents of that neighborhood.

Also, Lady Gaga has replaced Madonna as the float music of choice.

Finally, for those wondering about the church group that marched with a blank banner, it was on order from New York's Archbishop.

Please read about someone who wasn't at the parade, the woman in room 609.

CNN has a not too appalling article about bisexuality.

A Pride festival in Minneapolis is thinking of relocating to avoid an anti-gay group that the courts say must be accommodated to spread their message at the festival.

Senator Robert Byrd has died. Aside from being the longest serving member of Congress and a racist (he was a member of the Klan), I personally recall him for long, rambling and only sometimes relevant floor speeches on ancient Greek and Roman history. It was a source of CSPAN fascination for me in my early-20s. More on Byrd (and his legacy of _good_ works) in comments.

Teens, online bullying, parents and schools.

Tobias Wong was a brilliant young designer who recently committed suicide. He had a severe sleep-related disorder, and may not have been in a truly conscious state when his death occurred. This article is entirely heartbreaking.

Building Black Audiences for Broadway. Sadly, this strategy didn't save the superb Passing Strange, but I'm really, really glad it's working for other shows and it's keeping Fela! on stage as I'm dying to see it and haven't had time. More audience diversity means more diversity in Broadway offerings and more work for PoC performers and writers, all of which is good for everyone.

Camille Paglia gives us an article about sex and the white middle class that starts with some promise, gets kinda sketchy and then runs off the rails until I start screaming, which is, I suppose what she's there for. I can try to find you the most offensive part to quote, but that would be difficult. Have fun.

This guide was put together to answer "OMG, I've never been to a con before!" type questions for the upcoming Infinitus 2010. Infinitus may be a Harry Potter con, but much of what's there is useful to anyone with first-time pre-con jitters, although it's always best to remember that every con has a different culture and that single fandom cons tends to have very different personalities than multifandom cons.

Comments

[nekosensei.livejournal.com]

Many thanks for posting the guide for first time con-goers. I've never been to a con before, and just this past weekend, someone I met at a wedding this weekend was trying to interest me in going to a Dragon-Con, the con that the Buffy Between the Lines people hang out at. I've also been pondering going to one of the Doctor Who ones. I think the Chicago Tardis one might be a good start since that one's in town.

The cyber-bullying article was frightening. I used to be bullied a lot when I was in grade school and middle school. In fact, my parents had me switch grade schools in the middle of the year after someone thought it would be cute to push me down the stairs. My family had legitimate concerns that I would get hurt one day. I thank my lucky stars that there was no such thing as cell phones, Facebook, and other social networking sites when I was growing up, because that would have been one other avenue my tormentors could have used to attack me.

[nekosensei.livejournal.com]

That cyber bullying article gave me chills.

Every time I read one of those, I think, "There but for the grace of god..."

Had I been born even a little later, that shit would have been my reality. And I had a rough enough time with it anyway.

Yep...same here. I had it bad as a kid, and that would have made things far far worse.

Oh well, on the bright side, my parents were always somewhat broke so chances are that I wouldn't have had a cell phone and I wouldn't have had to put up with harassing text messages as much.

[xtricks.livejournal.com]

Which is like, fine, you like your men manly and your women curvy but it should be fairly obvious that in this day and age, at least, that's not a universal.

I mean, *my* half-assed opinion about the failure of WASP culture in regards to sex is that everyone but especially women, are conditioned to be so anxious about their looks and their tits and their make-up and are they hairless enough and is your cock big enough and etc that it's almost impossible to relax enough to enjoy sex ... but when I go on about how a nice pair of handcuffs and a bit gag solve a lot of problems I'm aware that I'm heading into personal taste there.

[rm.livejournal.com]

Hahahahahaahahah. Yes.

[rm.livejournal.com]

One good comment I've seen re: the bullying is now, at least, finally, there's proof. No one can say it's not happening or pretend they weren't that asshole in high school anymore. Not convincingly.

[ghost-light.livejournal.com]

We had Lady Gay-Ga in the Pride Parade here in Alaska.

[rm.livejournal.com]

I think smaller cons and single-fandom cons are easier for first time con-goers. Chicago Tardis is pretty small (under 1,000 people) and if it's at all like Gallifrey One, made up of awesome, awesome friendly people. Dragon*Con is huge and hard if crowds freak you out, but if you know what you're there for (a given track, which is like a minicon within a con), it's totally okay.

[brewsternorth.livejournal.com]

I can attest to the Chicago TARDIS awesome friendliness. The hotel isn't huge but it's very accommodating. (For one thing, they have free wi-fi in the lobby. That made for a very Twitter-heavy con!) Frankly, in my experience, half the fun is hanging out in the lobby between the panels you're interested in.

[redstapler.livejournal.com]

Seriously.

I found out last night my brother (who was at Dalton a year before I went) told our parents that I would be miserable there. A 14yo boy knew that his 5yo sister would be a target.

My dad, also, once again apologized for sending me there in the first place.

I told him (and I do think this is true) that I would have been bullied anywhere.

[drfardook.livejournal.com]

I noticed the lack of leather, bear, and radical faeries as well. It could just be part of NYC's grinding out of the working and middle classes. Their memberships might have been slashed over the last decade as people moved out when they couldn't find affordable housing or lost freak friendly jobs to the point where there weren't enough people to march.

[rexluscus.livejournal.com]

Wow, that Paglia piece sure was a mess of mutually contradictory cliches trying to pass as penetrating transhistorical analysis. Sounds like her!

[brewsternorth.livejournal.com]

Could be one factor, yes. The one major bears' float seemed to have been trucked in from New Jersey.

[tsarina.livejournal.com]

Why does anyone still give Paglia publishing space? Ugh. It makes me want to hit myself in the head with a brick or cleanse my computer screen with fire. I can't believe I actually just read that.

[aviv-b.livejournal.com]

We have our own group of asshats who come to our Pride parade. Generally every float stops in front of them and flips them the bird (literally or figuratively). This year, in a stroke a genius, someone hooked up speakers right where they were stationed and they were completely blocked out. Good work!

I was reflecting with some friends after the parade how its changed in the last 25+ years since I've been going. In the early 80s the parade was still pretty much a Mardi Gras experience. A few gay organizations, some drag queens and leather, a few politicians. Then came the mid-eighties - and the parade became a much more serious occasion...almost like a funeral. HIV/AIDS seemed to be everywhere and nobody knew what to do about it or how to treat it. Except blame gay men.

Over time, as HIV/AIDS became a chronic rather than terminal condition, this issue began to fade to the background. And the GLBT community became a political and economic force that could not be ignored. This led to a huge influx of commercialization and participation by politicians. While this isn't necessary all bad, some of it has a feel of 'hey its an event' so we're here rather than support for the community. Its one thing for the local animal clinic or restaurant to have a float, its quite another for Miller to have the biggest frick'n float in the parade with no real message supporting gay rights, but lots of hard bodied guys and gals gyrating to music and promoting beer. And the politicians - well some are actively supporting GLBT rights, but others seem to be there because 'its expected.'

Not surprisingly, the big issues this year were gay marriage, anti-bullying legislation, and partner benefits. I don't think there was a single reference to safe sex or HIV/AIDS. Is that good or bad? I don't know. What do you think?

[alba17.livejournal.com]

I used to go to NY Pride in the 90's and all that sounds kind of depressing. At that time, the moment of silence was truly silent. Of course, it was the middle of the AIDS crisis as well.

[dremiel.livejournal.com]

As the parent of a thirteen year old boy I can tell you it all gives me chills. Even without overt bullying the fact is that these kids are largely drawing their self-esteem and self-identity from what their peers think of them and the power they have over each other is amazing. My son and his circle are intelligent, moral, reasonably mature kids...nice kids, nerds even, and they can still be so inadvertently hurtful to each other that it takes my breath away. I literally cannot imagine what happens when they are lashing out and trying to be hurtful.

We talk about this a LOT.

[malle-babbe.livejournal.com]

Just once, I want Paglia to explain just what it is about women objecting to getting smacked around that bugs her so damn much.

Her construction of "masculinity" seems to include if not outright violence, it at least excuses the "oh well, he's just 'passionate', that's why he shoves you around" bullshit. Temper tantrums are for three-year-olds...

As for myself, I can't read her stuff without flashing back to adolescence, and clueless adults looking at me like I sprouted horns b/c I wanted to not get grabbed and bugged by creeps. Hell, I even had my own dad once demand an explanation as to why I blew off a creep from school I ran into at a drug store on a family outing.

That, and her stereotypical "Baby Boomer sneering at everyone born after the Beatles broke up" act bugs as well.

[rarelylynne.livejournal.com]

seconded.

[pantryslut.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the link to Storme DeLarverie! I remember her, at least.

[kproche.livejournal.com]

I've always liked the Foamy the Squirrel AKON special con message:

http://ia331327.us.archive.org/1/items/AKON_CONVENTION_SPECIAL/AKON_IPOD.M4V

[heron61.livejournal.com]

Camille Paglia gives us an article about sex and the white middle class Dear gods, I read that and my respect for her dropped even further than it had from reading other offensive nonsense by her. Ugh.

Teens, online bullying, parents and schools

I am continually baffled at parents, teachers, and similar people for not remembering how much bullying occurred in schools in the 70s & 80s. Bullying is vile and needs to stop, but claims that it is worse than it was previously are laughable. Of course, as your experience at the school reunion shows, maybe many of these people have simply forgotten what school was like back then.

[dr-is-in.livejournal.com]

The bullying and teasing I went thru in elementary school and junior high, I can't even imagine what it would have been like in the current digital age. **shudders**

[malle-babbe.livejournal.com]

One good comment I've seen re: the bullying is now, at least, finally, there's proof...

How much are you willing to bet that it is that little detail which is really making school administrators twitch? Not the bullying, but the fact that it is documented bullying?

Text messages and video footage on youtube make it harder for adults to blow things off, or to minimize things as "kids being kids". School shouldn't be a slightly less stabby version of prison. We would never ask an adult to put up with what we often demand of minors...

[rm.livejournal.com]

I think there's also such pressure for LGBT people to normalize, even from within the community. Like we only deserve marriage if we can prove we're the marrying kind. I think that's helped diminish the ranks of those subgroups and caused others in them to say "fuck what the mainstream LGBT community has become." All these sub-cultures that were instrumental in our earlier visibility and in the fight against AIDS have basically been shafted by the larger community in the last decade.

[coyotegoth.livejournal.com]

I'm a Saggitarius; can I be an Aries cusp for half credit? I promise to do all my thinking after 5.