so that happened

[rm]

At about 5am, I sat bolt-upright in bed from a sound sleep in agonizing pain in my left lower back. My first assumption was that it was a muscle cramp¹ and an initial hot shower seemed to help. Afterwards, I laid in bed, but no position was comfortable, Googling kidney things. The pain started to increase again and I took another shower that didn't help.

But the time I got back to my bedroom, I could not move my left leg except by physically lifting it with my hands because of the amount of pain I was in. I got dressed, shaking (this is probably when i first started going into shock), and somehow got myself downstairs and into a cab, but I could not stand upright and all positions were agony.

At urgent care it got much worse and they told me I would either need to take a cab to the ER or an ambulance. I didn't think I could do it a second time, and asked for the ambulance (I have insurance, but worry, A LOT over what the bill is going to be for all this). I was definitely in shock by the time I arrived at the ER, with a BP of 103/50 and a heart rate in the 80s. I remember my temperature, which had been normal, spiking weirdly too. So that was fucking lovely.

At some random point I realized I didn't know what hospital they'd brought me to and effectively didn't know where I was.

They got me on an IV pretty quick and a lot of things happened I don't remember the order of, but I was twittering it, because I thought it would distract me or some shit. They did a pregnancy test. I was cranky (but I just want you to know, I was really really nice to everyone!). Eventually the doctor came in and said it sounded like a kidney stone or infection.

Kept telling everyone I had to be on a plane to Bristol on Wednesday night. "You'll get there," everyone kept assuring me.

Had a cat scan.

Turns out it's a kidney stone, about 2mm. I should pass it on my own, within the next week. It's moved out of the kidney, so the worst of the pain should be over, but until it gets to my bladder, there might be some more. Which is all fucking lovely when I have to get on a plane in two days (First my Mac, now this? WHAT THE FUCK UNIVERSE?).

The bad news is I have at least a 50% chance of recurrence, and that's before we consider my family history (my father has had surgery for stones and had them for YEARS). The other bad news is that because of all of this they want me to radically reduce my intake of meat and cheese, which would be less difficult if I didn't have celiac disease and have to eat a ridiculous amount of calories daily and am funny about food texture. So when I get back I'll go to a nutritionist or something.

Right now I have some aching², occasional twinges and am completely exhausted. And I want to punch a bunch of dead fictional characters in the face. Patty's probably even crankier, since she got woken up with all this too as I paged her in Ohio at some point around the ambulance portion of the morning.³

Fucking hell.

Prescriptions filled.⁴

Also, and this is totally gross, but Internet, I MUST TELL YOU: they gave me a strainer so I can see when the stone passes.⁵

---

¹ I've had a few intermittent incidents in the last couple of months where I've felt like I've thrown out this same part of my back in bed, but now suspect this has been the stone all along.
² By which I mean it feels like I've been punched in the kidney by someone who knew what they were doing.
³ Fucking kidney stones. Baby, your girlfriend is old.
⁴ CVS has me down as a man.
⁵ Come on, we all know you come here for the fun trivia.

Comments

[jadegirl.livejournal.com]

Oh, dear. Every single person I know who has had one says it's the worst pain they've ever felt. My father saw his father pass one, and to this day (my father is now 73) drinks over a gallon of water a day to try to avoid getting them. (I don't know if that actually helps, but he hasn't had one.)

I hope it passes, and easily! My husband has three, and never managed to catch it in the strainer.

[bugeyedmonster.livejournal.com]

Hey, that's what my sister was told as well! Drink a gallon a day.

[rednwhiterose.livejournal.com]

While I've never had a kidney stone, I have had a bladder infection so I sympathize with the lower body pain and will say pain meds are the best thing ever created.

[heartofoshun.livejournal.com]

Hope it doesn't interfere with your enjoyment of the trip.

Come on, we all know you come here for the fun trivia.

Actually, very interesting detail. I always wondered about that!

[hippypaul.livejournal.com]

There is a fair amount of useful information that can be gained by the analysis of the stone. It will help in dietary planning. I hope you are able to recover the stone. Gross but necessary. Good luck and best wishes.

[bizetsy.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry!

Can you do apple cider vinegar? Adding a bit to your water, or taking a small shot of it a couple times day, can help cleanse the kidneys (and incidentally, also help regulate blood sugar).

ETA: Because of my several auto-immune diseases, my electrolytes are out of whack, which is common with people with digestive diseases. My docs recommended Gatorade/Powerade, but I don't want all those chemicals and the corn syrup makes me feel gross. I found this stuff: http://www.eletewater.com/

It comes out to about 10 cents/Liter and can be added to any beverage, so it's price conscious when considered in the long term. By the way: I have no affiliation or benefits at all from that place; I just want to help others with AI diseases.

[hab318princess.livejournal.com]

wow, that sounds horrible, but glad you are on the mend

[misch.livejournal.com]

I hope you feel much much better soon. Went through the same thing with my mom.

[introductory.livejournal.com]

Good thoughts for you! Hope you feel better soon, and everything's fine in time for Bristol.

[imaginarycircus.livejournal.com]

Oh, no! I'm so sorry to hear that. I've passed about 12 of those suckers and thankfully only one required surgery. They hurt like nothing else. It turns out I had a parathyroid tumor that caused me to have so many stones. Once they removed it I stopped creating stones.

The stone you have may not be calcium. It could be an oxalate or something else. So meat and cheese may not be the problem. Do you drink a lot of black tea? That could be causing oxalates to form stones.

Drink water. Lots and lots and lots of water. Try never to let yourself get dehydrated, which means you should pee once an hour. It's annoying, but better than having stones.

[rm.livejournal.com]

I drink no black tea at all. Caffeine destroys me.

[merchimerch.livejournal.com]

That sounds just awful! The universe really should be cutting you a break by now. I hope that everything from here on out passes smoothly with no more complications.

Also, if/when you're ready to address GF ways of cutting down animal products, I do a couple of things with tofu (casserole, baked stuff, etc) that can easily be altered into a non gluten version (I've done it for nisaa when she visits). Let me know if you want me to pass along the recipes.

[rm.livejournal.com]

I avoid soy because of a family history of hormone sensitive breast cancer, which is one of the many reasons why this is a whole lot of "yeah, but what do I eat now?"

[smirnoffmule.livejournal.com]

Ouch. Sorry you've had such a shitty night. Be good to yourself - hope it all passes soon.

Also, the strainer is the essential detail which makes this story. The internet needed to know.

[malle-babbe.livejournal.com]

Kidney stones are hideously painful, and I hope you have a speedy recovery. I have been following your posts on getting your paper together for Bristol with great interest, and I've got my fingers and toes crossed for you to bounce back and have an amazing presentation at the conference.

[tree00faery.livejournal.com]

Yikes! I'm really sorry you had to go through that, especially right before your trip.

I know a bunch of people who are vegan, at least one of whom is also gluten-free, so if you do end up needing ideas or recipes about how to eat less meat/cheese I could ask them.

[just-ann-now.livejournal.com]

3 Fucking kidney stones. Baby, your girlfriend is old.

My daughter had kidney stones at 22, her boyfriend at 24. A co-worker's son had them at 19. Not just for old people any more!

[rm.livejournal.com]

Seriously? Who knew.

[tekalynn.livejournal.com]

Oh NO. Get well soon, and drink lots of water.

[tsarina.livejournal.com]

This reminded me intensely of last year going to the ER for my stupid gallbladder. The pain, the pain. I'm glad you're home at least.

I was up all night too, til 5am or so. I should have gotten up and checked the internet!

[laughingacademy.livejournal.com]

Ai yi yi. Glad you're feeling a bit better.

I'm on night shift this coming week, so if you need someone to run errands in Manhattan before 3 p.m., feel free to ping me via e-mail or LJ.

[6-bleen-7.livejournal.com]

I feel for you. When I was in grad school I passed a much smaller (< 1 mm) kidney stone, and the thing pretty much incapacitated me for a day and a half. I, too, got a strainer, but I never found the stone.

[myrrhmade.livejournal.com]

Oh Damn. Sending you good juju!

[nonsecateur.livejournal.com]

Arg. How awful! I'm glad it wasn't something more dangerous and that it seems to be resolving itself.

[ladyofthelog.livejournal.com]

:/ This sounds awful. I'm glad you will be able to make it to Bristol, but I hope your stone passes before your flight.

The other bad news is that because of all of this they want me to radically reduce my intake of meat and cheese, which would be less difficult if I didn't have celiac disease and have to eat a ridiculous amount of calories daily and am funny about food texture. So when I get back I'll go to a nutritionist or something.
Nutritionist are good. You might also want to check out online resources for gluten-free vegan cooking - I have a friend with wheat allergy who is also vegan, so I've made a few things myself.

[miep.livejournal.com]

ugh. yuck. blegh. and other assorted noises of sympathy and disgust for your pain.

Did they say anything about too much calcium?

in the meantime, can you increase your coconut milk/ avocado/ peanut butter intake to compensate?

[shipchan.livejournal.com]

Had this happen to me too. The 2nd most painful thing I've ever felt in my life (the 1st being the intense, delirium inducing pain I would get every month because I was still eating wheat). So painful. The human body is such a pain in the ass.

[tziedel.livejournal.com]

If at all possible save the kidney stone or any sediment - there chemical composition will make a big difference in how you'll need to adjust your diet.

[ex-serenejo.livejournal.com]

I have a serious hobby (I used to get paid for it, but now I do it for fun and love) of creating yummy foods that people can/will eat from the lists of forbidden and/or yucky foods they give me. If you will give me a comprehensive list of what foods you like and hate (and what you can and can't eat), I can make you some menus and recipes of foods that are low in meat and cheese, if you like. (No pressure; just if it would be helpful to you.)

(At the latest Fogcon meeting, I felt really proud to put out a big spread of stuff that one attendee, who has life-threatening allergies, felt perfectly safe nomming on all afternoon. Food geeks of the world live for these moments. :-)

[supremegoddess1.livejournal.com]

what a neat hobby!

i might have to enlist your services lol - just had major surgery and i'm going to have limitations for awhile...

[elionwyr.livejournal.com]

Oh hell.

My passing-two-stones-at-once also started around 5-5:30AM, but instead of wow-legs-don't-work I had wow-can't-stop-vomiting.

This sounds perfectly horrific, and I hope it passes soon. My experience was that I could feel it moving (be warned), but I only found one of the two. Of course, that one was shaped like Mickey Mouse's head. Good to know my kidneys can do sculpture. *eyeroll*

(Didn't have the pregnancy test thing done; also didn't get pain meds though I clearly needed them, because hey, women can handle pain better than men. And passing a stone is described, in the case of men, like giving birth. So I had twins with no meds. I am not as proud of that as perhaps I should be.)

Warning signs for the future: I've had other smaller ones. I get back aches (you'll always know EXACTLY where your kidneys are from now on) and I get feverish, but it's never been as bad as the first time. So hopefully (if yours recur) it will be the same for you.

They may ask you to do a 24 hour urine collection after all of this. Just a heads-up. *gentle hug*