rm | sundries

I did not bother to rummage the sleep mask out of the suitcase last night and really paid for it. I did, however, dream -- about Dragon*Con and London and

tsarina and the matter of zir name.

Last night we made Chinese mustard with stuff we got a Penzeys. I love Chinese mustard, but it tends to contain undistilled white vinegar and then terrible things happen. NOT ANYMORE. HA! (Note: making Chinese mustard involves mixing water and mustard powder; do not get excited about our massive skill or anything).

New front door keys to our building. This isn't a bad thing in that that door could really stand to be more secure, but they are Do Not Duplicate keys, which is a pain in terms of getting a third set for cat sitters or whatever. Also, there are not video cameras in the vestibule and front all. This is probably a good safety thing and will cut down on the litter in the buildings halls, but it also creeps me out a little.

Yesterday I also found out what the party someone I know was being all "I got to go to _this_ party at Dragon*Con and I am so much cooler than you because they always invite me and it's the event of Dragon*Con" actually was and then couldn't stop laughing for a really long time. Oh, hilarity. And since like five of you will email me going "what, what?" this story does not involve a boy or a celebrity in any remotely direct way, so don't get over-excited. This is amusing on a far more limited basis. And I should take my own advice more often.

The victims of the Pakistan flood are sleeping in mud and 118 degree heat.

help_pakistan.

Remarkably not about 9/11: The fight for New York's skyline.

A haven for victims of acid burns (Note: graphic descriptions, some photos, discussion of domestic violence against both men and women).

The metacognition deficit (Note: graphic in-period description of early-19th century breast cancer surgery as the entrance to the topic).

Buh, what? Apparently, to be a powerful woman in New York you need Kate Spade three-inch wedge heels.

Patty and I watched about 30 minutes of the Miss Universe pageant last night in Spanish (er, we found Telemundo before we found NBC and it was closer on the dial to the upcoming The Daily Show). Miss Jamaica was our favorite and came in as first runner-up, causing

yendi to wake up to some unexpected flattery.

karnythia talks about being pretty in public.

For the record: write fiction about whatever you want (seriously, _seriously_, I mean this sincerely, really, really, really -- lord knows I do, and sometimes that works out and sometimes that doesn't), but if you're writing about people that are Other than you, particularly if they are marginalized or fetishized in our culture, understand that the bar for good execution is, quite reasonably, higher -- even if your book/story/fanfic/poem isn't meant for an audience that contains those people (slash fandom, I'm looking at you) and even if you feel it's easier for you to write those people than people who are more like you.

I feel a profound, agonizing responsibility to my characters most of the time when I am writing; so generally, I think I should feel the same way about my readers too. I believe fictional characters are real, but I know audiences are. Writing is hard; but I'm not always sure why thinking about writing has to be so hard. Make cool stuff; suck less -- not really the worst goal for any of us.

I can't believe I have to keep saying this: Can we stop it with "she needs a sandwich" please? Yes, skinny people have privilege and so talking trash about them is ultimately less culturally harmful than talking trash about fat people. However, policing bodies isn't good for anyone, no matter which direction you're doing it in. I'm the size and shape I am because of a genetic disease; and instead of anyone considering something might be wrong or trying to figure it out, peers told me I was ugly, men told me I was fragile and not worth fucking, and doctors insisted I was a liar, an anorexic (this a value judgment from their lips instead of any sort of actually concerned attempted at diagnosis), and just wanted attention. Body policing is rude and harms everyone's health.

mrtonylee's short film, The Shoot, is now online.

While I often forget that apparently people still don't get the existence of geek girls, because hi, on LJ and from Harry Potter fandom, this has the potential to be interesting and necessary.

The CA state senate passed a measure to repeal an archaic law requiring the state to search for cures for homosexuality. They also passed a measure asking Obama to end DoMA.

Caster Semenya is competing again, and some of her rivals are still refusing to accept her as a legitimate female competitor.

Last night on Angel: "Shiny Happy People" or AWESOME SHOW IS AWESOME AGAIN. Seriously, I was so over the self-proclaimed "turgid supernatural soap opera" but everything about this episode was just brilliant, from the dopey expression on Angel's face, to the very recognizable feeling of not being able to stand that one person that everyone thinks is awesome and you think is totally fake, to Fred having a damn plot-line again, to falling of Jasmin's schtick ourselves, to wondering how it will all work out! Man, SO GOOD. And completely, skin-crawlingly terrifying. AWESOME SHOW IS AWESOME!

Okay, time to do work, there sure is a lot of it!

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Body policing is rude and harms everyone's health.

Dear gods, yes.

Fuck that, get me a sandwich! I HUNGER.

I love (for once!) the comments on the Semenya article. "You came in 8th place. Even if she wasn't in the race you were still last to cross the finish line." Not loving the gendered slur, mind you, but the point is trenchant and salient. Haters gonna hate.

I used to be the 'she should just go eat a cheeseburger' person...mostly because I'm not comfortable in my body. I started to think about how hurtful those things are to say to someone and I'm training myself not to any more. It's also a bit difficult to do, since those of us on the slightly other side of the spectrum are potrayed in the media and slovenly and out of control with no care to our health. For good or ill, very thin folks are the media norm as we are bombarded by the 'ideal' feminine form. Until that perception changes, I imagine both negative comments and stereotypes will be rampant.

Absolutely, and I know it's hard, and I appreciate your willingness to make the effort and talk about your own experiences. Thank you.

As women especially we're trained to feel better about ourselves by cutting other people down. Sometimes I still say "lame" even though I know it's offensive to people and I'm trying not to say it anymore; all I can do is try to do better and say sorry when I fuck up.

I acknowledge I have privilege. And people making mistakes is not a deal-breaker (if it were, I'd have no friends). But that privilege also kept me sick for thirty years. Media messages about women's bodies and the body policing it inspires isn't making anyone healthier, happier or better off.

All my dreams have been weird, weird, weird. I thought it was the antibiotics, but I think now it is just the summer heat.

On the GF vinegar front, have you tried shopping for white vinegar at Passover time?

I have no idea if it's celiac safe, but it sounds as though it should be.

ha, as if there could be any one event that is THE event of dragon*con. :-)

It's perfectly easy to find distilled white vinegar (and the issue around Passover is leavening, not wheat, so I'm not sure where white vinegar falls in that, but maybe you know and hence the suggestion). Undistilled is, however, marginally cheaper, which is why it's often in things like mass produced mustards, meaning I have to watch labels very carefully and generally avoid mustard in restaurants.

From what I can tell, the BSG parties in '08 and '09 tried their very hardest.

But I'm sure there are people who would say otherwise.

You, btw, would laugh your ass off at this discovery.

Not knowing at all what vinegar is actually made from and only knowing we have to go get more of it around Passover, I am not sure if it is the fermentation method or what is being fermented that's the problem. If it is made from fermenting wheat (or rye or other grain) in some way, then I am guessing that it's why we have to change it.

Also it tastes different (and makes the ketchup taste funny). So I don't know exactly what makes it different, only that it is. And was throwing it out there as a Helpful Suggestion.

and those parties were fucking awesome. :-)

Yes, and I appreciate it, thanks. I'm sorry if I was difficult, but as you can imagine I get a lot of helpful suggestions some of which are far, far less helpful than that.

Now I'm REALLY interested in the passover vinegar thing though, as I haven't personally encountered that as my mom doesn't really use white vinegar in anything.

now you're just teasing with your secret knowledge. :-)

Sometimes being a foodie and a librarian is very dangerous! ;-p

Vinegar and Passover

Different types of vinegar

Now, I understand why you have to be careful with vinegar! The Vinegar and Passover article was especially enlightening on all the ways assorted wheat products get used and how they can end up in everything.

My husband and I were talking about how I used to want to dress a little sexy instead of always 'cute' the other day. He said "well, you can wear anything you want" and I said I don't like the attention I get when I dress that way. It is sad to say it, but it is true.

exactly... referring to any person's body with terms like "Offended by" or "under fire for" is cruel and needs to stop. It will help no one's self esteem at all.
I was called ET for most of my early teens. I still feel like I have freakishly thin, long arms and nearly did myself harm trying to bulk them up a few years ago. I know it is not as bad as the more bountiful girls get it, to be sure, but it still hurt and has damaged my self image.

Thanks for the Passover rules thing. My mom is pretty casual about it (we don't eat it, but we don't discard it), and I've never known the details.

Back in the early-to-mid-90s, the White Wolf parties were supposed to be THE event at DragonCon. I expect that DragonCon was a wee tad smaller then.

it is SO BIG, omg. :-)

There were BSG parties? not my fandom so I didn't know. I'd have said the Thriller attempt.

This year, I'm body servant to author Elizabeth Donald. I get to go to all the fun panels.

There were big official parties held, I think, in the Sheraton. In '08 it was big, in '09, it was fire marshal-ordinance-busting.

But, there you go proving the point that no matter how big, nothing can be The Big Party of Dragon*Con.

I really agree with you on the sandwich thing. I've definitely been guilty of that kind of thought, but the more I think about it, the more hurtful it is. No one should have to defend their body type, no matter which body type it is.

As for Angel, I'm watching the episode as we speak. I haven't seen it before, and now you've got me all excited. :D

You always have the most thought-provoking and well written links. Where do you find them, and where do you find the time to collect/share them all?

Every morning I do CNN, NY Times, The Advocate, the WSJ, my friendslist, my Twitter feed and that accounts for most of it.

The sundries post takes between ten minutes and an hour.

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as an aside

Re: as an aside