(no subject)

Ah... just came from the last place it seems you can smoke in public in NYC. Not that I smoke, but it just felt so normal. Anyway, brief, unexciting night (what happens when Christina Aguilera was recently spotted at a party cooler than her? Every idiot in the world, including moi, shows up hoping someone cooler than Christina Aguilera shows up). But there were some lovely cabaret performances, some good eye candy, lovely drinks and a few acquaintances of note it was a pleasure to lay eyes on again. Plus, the DJ played that awful Crystal Waters song I was obsessed with over a decade ago. I laughed out loud all the way home (partly at that, and partly at the review quote of the party from the LA Times -- first, why is the LA Times reviewing a party in NY and second... well never mind, but trust me... it's funny).

living in my childhood

Break from opera. Reading NYTimes about SARS. Feel like I'm in a William Gibson novel and still stupidly wondering why it isn't sexy.

Spoke to Cleo, made confessions of public facts, but then the battery died so I guess I'll speak to her later.

The skill I most have to learn is silence.

Someone asked today "What's the one thing you want that you think you can't have?" and I, blessedly, couldn't come up with anything. There's a long list of things I live in terror of not getting, mainly because I believe they are utterly attainable and only won't be achieved if I weak or fearful or stupid and slack about it. But any of the things that I want, in a true true way -- both vague and specific -- they're mine for the taking. Despite what my ex- used to say, life _is_ a puzzle to be solved.