(no subject)

My not quite rightness of the last couple of days is starting to pass -- it's been mental and physical, but I'm not real sure where it's originated.

Been promoting the show fiercely, and I've got to send out another stack of postcards to casting directors this weekend -- I got about 40 out yesterday, which is about half. Postcards are the biggest hassle ever. But such is the nature of the business. Someone should make every teenager who wants to be a start sit down and write "this is what it's like to be an actor" 10,000 times, because between learning lines (which I often do by rote) and sending postcards, it's really true.

My big bruise is in its yellow stage now -- so yay, almost done. But gawd, I'm annoyed by it.

I've said this before recently, but I need to do some photography work soon, only because I am looking at my pictures and they are all from another moment. I seem too young in them, and they speak so clearly to me amusing myself -- I mean I hate to say this about anything I do -- but there's a lack of savvy in them as regards the self-commodification thing. Of course, I've had a sudden bout of inspiration lately, so I'm a bit mad, but really... I think pictures now would be a whole new thing... even with that damn Edwardian jacket winging it's way to me right now.

Have noticed that I'm very hesistant about articulating my view of self right now -- it comes from this trying to get strong business -- I always expect people to snort and laugh at me, because not a single person I know today has ever seen me strong, and even when I was strong I was willing to accept arbitrary limitations for the comfort of others. But in short, I can be strong, and I can be beautiful, because I can be not interested in the expectation of others. Still hard to articulate... just had a moment of epiphany last night wasting time on the internet. You all know how that goes.... grim thing, that is.

Four fucking hour rehearsal tonight.

Later I think I'm going to make a list of all the shit people said I could never do, that it seems I'm doing anyway. Some days I need that.

Hey, Kat... horsies? http://www.prospectpark.org/acti/main.cfm?target=horse

(no subject)

The clothes I ordered came today. The jacket is not as well tailered as I would like, and the collar was crushed in shipping. I'm going to put to small stitches in it, so it holds up where it should, as opposed to dropping into a wildly inappropriate shawl collar. It also has false buttons which I hadn't realized.

That said, I played with it for a bit, and I have a plan, I just need someone to help me pin it eveninly, and I'll put a couple of darts in it, and I will be good to go.

The skirt I bought, which I wasn't sure was goingt o work at all though, is stunning, and all put together, I'm nearly embarrassed by the thoroughness of my execution on this one.

Heee.

Burnt from rehearsal. Should manage to get to the spa tomorrow, think I'm not going to be able to fit horses in until two weeks from tomorrow, but dude, I really want to do it, even if it is just (and most likely) me doing it once or twice just to prove to myself I can without being a big screaming wuss. You'd think, that having taken flying lessons, riding a horse would not scare me because they're tall. You'd be wrong.

Rawr.