Dear Torchwood Fandom,

Dear Torchwood Fandom,

I am as much about Jack/Ianto as many of the rest of you, BUT, perhaps you have not noticed, these are two really fucked up people in fucked up circumstances with a distinctive disinclination towards monogamy.

So, can we please stop writing fics that involve Jack cooing over how adorable Ianto is? or making him breakfast in bed? Or saying "I love you" every two seconds?

BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT THOSE GUYS. Even in happy ending fics (which I like), even when they are taking comfort from each other (which is probably how it evolved out of Ianto trying to get Lisa into the Hub) and even when they're in love with each other (which I can totally buy).

Ianto is both weirdly innocent and incredibly fucking devious and generally pretty at sea and FILLED WITH TRAUMA and also tough as nails. And Jack is actually out of his goddamn mind. And immortal (more or less). And a huge slut. And a very manly man. Mostly. And also, FILLED WITH TRAUMA, and I don't mean screaming girl trauma for either of them, okay?

So, please, pelase, please, people, let these characters be into each other on their own terms, not your unimaginative heteronormative romance novel crap.

Also, didn't we learn anything about sickeningly cute and character inappropriate nicknames from the Harry Potter fandom?

Thank you.

Gah. I hate new fandoms.

completely batshit musical offering of the day

Marry Me by Emilie Autumn

song: http://www.last.fm/music/Emilie+Autumn/_/Marry+Me

lyrics: http://www.beelyrics.com/e/emilie-autumn/marry-me.html

It's harpsichord and violin and this lilting song about arranged
marriages and goat herds and dining on peacock and taking lovers and
being beheaded.

Just... last.fm is worth it just for stumbling on stuff like this.

was that my out loud voice? ooops.

So I was in Whole Foods waiting online to pay for a loaf of gluten-free bread, and there was a girl in the line next to me speaking with a girl behind me.

Their speech was appalling, and they were loud and boring.

Early on in the conversation I catch:

Girl 1: "All of our dorms, are like, designed to be castles and shit, and like at first I thought like so cool, but then I was like oh this is so Disney Land and then it's just like whatev."

Girl 2: "But that is like so totally like, like, we just live in apartments, but it's right near school, so like, it's pretty great. What sucks is that I have to call my mom like every night. I don't have time for that."

Girl 1: "Oh like me too. And they'd freak out if they like knew I was coming into New York like ever."

Girl 2: "Oh, I totally shouldn't tell my mom then, because she'd be all whatev and totally tell your parents and then you'd be all --"

Girl 1: "I know, it totally like, stresses me out."

On and on and on. Eventually, one of them notes that the other one goes to Yale.

And then, I just blurted out, "You go to Yale?" with extreme incredjulity.

Girl 1: "Um, like, yeah."

Me: "Your dormitories were not designed to look like castles, rather they were designed to emulate the buildings at older institutions such as Cambridge and Oxford."

Girl 1: "Yeah, but they --"

Me: "Just, if you must abuse the language, do so with more snesitivity to those around you."

and then it was my turn to go pay for my goods.

UGH!