I don't get upset about my celiac disease often. I've felt healthier since my diagnosis than at any point in the previous 33 years of my life. While it raises my risks of some pretty shitty illnesses (like epilepsy and some forms of cancer) it's not going to kill me, at least, not directly. And while it restricts some of my food options, there are replacements (most of them good) for just about everything including German brown bread, croissants, and naan if you look hard enough and have the budget (I do).
But sometimes it gets me down. It's a metaphorically shitty disease (I cannot break bread with you) and it creates this line of Before and After in my life.
Yesterday I was feeling really, randomly sad about it. Today I burst into tears in a local gourmet store when I saw they carried Tim-Tams. I miss them and Anzac biscuits and Darrell Lea's coconut ice (no brand is better, but theirs isn't celiac safe) and fudge from the shops at Circular Quay and breakfast at bills. And I am so so so sad.
It's not important. And it's not a big deal. I'm sitting here eating a nice little lunch, in fact. But today I really hate my disease, and I'm blogging about it, because even for a no big deal chronic illness, I think it's important to for people to know how the background noise feels. Also, ranting at you lot makes me feel better.