(no subject)

[rm]

manhattan is conduting a screened/anonymous question on people her readers admire.

In answering, I effectively said one very key thing I wish to redocument here. Which is that I admire people who achieve the work/life balance by working more, not less, and integrate what they do into everything as opposed to the more traditional version you hear, especially when it's women arguing with each other (in really unproductive ways) about husbands and/or babies. The work/life balance does not require a withdrawal from the playing field, and we should not believe the people who want to convince us it does. It's an option. So's just about anything. And yes, there are economic factors, but those generally aren't in significant play amongst the people who have the luxury of the discussing the work/life balance, and are not the focus of this particular thought.

Being more for me, means being more for others. It's not an inverse proportion, as I think we're too often trained to believe. Sure, I may have to sacrifice sleep, but I don't have to sacrifice me.

Someone will surely decide this is a "stay at home moms don't do real work" post and will flame me for not having children (this is not a "stay at home moms don't do real work" post, and please don't fucking flame me; I've no patience). My work/life balance and goals vary a lot from most people's, and when I philosophize around here, it's just me trying to find my way, which is different from a lot of people's.

Comments

[labellerose.livejournal.com]

Yes I'm a SAHM but I know you get that it's 'real' work. And I will take up your defese with anyone who implies otherwise I think the real question is who benefits from the arguing about husbands or babies that you describe. Oddly enough, it's not the women or tose they love..

[darkadaptedeye.livejournal.com]

to provide a counterpoint to this argument:

i admire you.

no, i'm not blowing smoke or sucking up to you as i am most definitely that type of person.

i've been reading your journal for a few years and i've respected your attempts at balancing paying jobs versus your pursuit of your creative (acting) career.

most people i know in this city (including myself) are creative professionals. we have a passion to write/design/compose/perform/create and to do this we've had to sacrifice various things, such as living in a full-sized home, stable employment, and to a fair extent stable long-term relationships. most of us don't even own cars. how many people here are in their 30s with somewhat "successful" careers and still have to have roommates?

for people like myself, including writers and designers, it's a little easier for us to find fulltime employment within our skillset. yes, we often take projects not to our tastes in order to pay our bills, but it's still within our realm. on a good day, it all comes together where we can follow our vision and get paid.

because you work a full day job and pursue a separate passion, you give up even more. and you continue. and you persevere. and you send yourself to Australia to explore while following your interest. and you still work toward that balance.

i have finally paid my dues long enough that i now have a respectable title in a respectable firm. i have surpassed my peers who took traditional paths. but the pressure still comes in: why aren't you considering starting a family or buying a real house instead of renting a studio in the east village? when are you going to settle down?

and the answer is no. i am tired of having my lifestyle (as well as those of people like yourself) marginalized by everyone else who took the safe and predictable path. those who live in suburbs, drive cars, shop at malls, reproduce, and continue the cycle much like their parents and classmates. i'm happy for them if they've found fulfillment. i'm happy for anyone who has found fulfillment. and in many ways, they do have a "better" life than us.

yes, you or i or many of us could taken that path. we didn't.

if we get envy for our adventures and travels, if we get recognition for our personal accomplishments, it's because we paid for it in full.

yes, i admire you.

[heron61.livejournal.com]

I completely agree. I'm pleased that I can manage this in a small way with my RPG writing being part of my general SF/fantasy geekery and gaming obsession. Although I avoid telling my publishers this, I'd be writing RPG material and creating eccentric settings even if no one paid me.

[ladyofthelog.livejournal.com]

Oh, you are fortunate! To do what you love, that is, and make it Everything. Honestly, I think my husband will be staying home with the kids, when/if we spawn. So I feel for you.

(Of course, YOU actually have creative output, where I have only... Snape/Hermione BDSM fic and large quantities of historical geekery. Le sigh.)