very funny, very odd

[rm]

via telesilla:

The Random Vin Diesel fact generator: http://www.4q.cc/vin/index.php

For Halloween, Vin Diesel cuts down a tree, scoops out the inside, fills it with candy, and then stabs anyone who rings his doorbell. He then eats the candy-filled tree.

and

The limit as x approaches infinity of e^x is Vin Diesel. Ironicially, the limit as x approaches Vin Diesel of e^x is David Hasselhoff.

are just two samples.

Comments

That is awesome!

[roy-batty.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

Vin Diesel does not actually run on diesel. He actually runs on a high octane fuel which is made by mixing environmentally friendly LPG with the souls of the damned.

Have you seen . . .

[roy-batty.livejournal.com]

http://www.pakin.org/complaint/

In this letter, I will try to describe Mr. Vin Diesel's editorials in such a way that my language will not offend and yet will still convey my message that Mr. Diesel is a loose cannon. One of my objectives is to exercise all of our basic rights to the maximum. If we let him perpetuate misguided and questionable notions of other gloomy, homophobic practitioners of sadism's intentions, then greed, corruption, and hooliganism will characterize the government. Oppressive measures will be directed against citizens. And lies and deceit will be the stock and trade of the media and educational institutions.

He spouts a lot of numbers whenever he wants to make a point. He then subjectively interprets those numbers to support his smears while ignoring the fact that ignorance is bliss. This may be why his minions are generally all smiles. I once managed to get Mr. Diesel to agree that we have a number of problems for which he bears most of the responsibility. Unfortunately, a few minutes later, he did a volte-face and denied that he had ever said that. Just to add a little more perspective, a central point of his belief systems is the notion that we should all bear the brunt of his actions. Perhaps Mr. Diesel should take some new data into account and revisit that notion. I think he'd find that there is no place in this country where we are safe from his buddies, no place where we are not targeted for hatred and attack.

We must learn to celebrate our diversity, not because it is the politically correct thing to do, but because Mr. Diesel proclaims at every opportunity that he'd never devastate vast acres of precious farmland. The gentleman doth protest too much, methinks. To simplify, his stories about gnosticism are particularly ridden with errors and distortions, even leaving aside the concept's initial implausibility. Mr. Diesel's comrades say that nothing would help society more than for them to rally for a cause that is completely void of moral, ethical, or legal validity. Sorry, I don't buy that. Mr. Diesel is always trying to change the way we work. This annoys me, because his previous changes have always been for the worse. I'm positive that Mr. Diesel's new changes will be even more addlepated, because no one likes being attacked by self-centered freaks of nature. Even worse, Mr. Diesel exploits our fear of those attacks -- which he claims will evolve one of these days into biological, chemical, or nuclear attacks -- as a pretext to turn peaceful gatherings into embarrassing scandals. If you think that's scary, then you should remember that Mr. Diesel still labors under the outmoded pretense that cultural tradition has never contributed a single thing to the advancement of knowledge or understanding. Let me rephrase that: Any rational argument must acknowledge this. His pharisaical intimations, naturally, do not. There is a certain Burkean prudence that animates people like me to acknowledge that every morning Mr. Diesel asks himself, "How can I fool the masses today?". This implies that you don't need to be a rocket scientist to detect the subtext of this letter. But just in case it's too subliminal for some, let me thrust it into your face right here: Mr. Diesel is the type of person who would sow the seeds of discord if he got the chance. For proof of this fact, I must point out that if we contradict him, we are labelled illiterate good-for-nothings. If we capitulate, however, we forfeit our freedoms. Now for some parting advice: Look at the facts. Analyze the arguments. Think about the motives of the people who are telling you that violence and prejudice are funny. And have confidence in yourself. Remember, it is not my goal to use paid informants and provocateurs to generate alienation and withdrawal, but the opposite.