the baby bonus

[rm]

It is, despite the tone of the Times, hardly a new idea. Certainly it was a done thing in the world of my childhood, but like the non-romantic vision of the engagement ring, it was a form of insurance.

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/12/06/fashion/06push.html

Comments

[drfardook.livejournal.com]

I'm so glad I'm avoiding all of that kind of crap.

Yes honey, let me show my appreciation for being the receptacle for my seed by giving you a financial reward for continuing my family name. This would be much bigger if it was a boy. On second thought, I have to pay for the dowry, give those rocks back.

[feyandstrange.livejournal.com]

I admit I sort of like the trend of giving a mom something for her/something to make her feel attractive, as well as mommy-baby things. But I'm the kind of person who, if I ever bred, would desperately need to separate my identity from the mommy role.

I have to admit that I cynically wonder if the trend towards stones other than diamonds is because of the low resale value of diamonds, too. If one wants an insurance policy...

[beemerbike.livejournal.com]

Hmmm...i might have to keep this in mind. I think diamonds are terribly disgusting as far as gifts go, but other stones without the stench attached to them might be nice....or even a nice massage or spa day.

[heron61.livejournal.com]

Mainstream middle class gender dynamics never cease to horrify me.

[clothing5.livejournal.com]

Cause when my wife had our daughter, I was thinking, "What a perfect time to spend half my savings on something shiny."

[mme-furiosa.livejournal.com]

Nothing says, "Thanks for perpetuating our hegemonic culture of exploitation" like a product of hegemony.

Excuse me while I throw up in my mouth a little.

[rosepurr.livejournal.com]

Yeah, this is nothing new. I know they were popular in my mother and grandmothers' times. Not just as insurance, but as a "reward" for the woman's part in creating a family. It seems a little tacky to put it so bluntly, but it's not a new thing.

[phaenix-ash.livejournal.com]

in my life this took the form of scented candles and lotions and books, mostly from other mothers. every year on T's bday i buy myself some small but pampering to mark the anniversary of what is a much bigger and harder job than i ever imagined.

that being said, the tone of this article is just revolting. the last thing i was thinking when T was born was "give me diamonds!" "baby bling"? shoot me.

[lakme.livejournal.com]

Well I rather like the metal sculpture; at least it's sort of a symbolic of the birth of your child gift rather than "Thanks for taking the episiotomy honey" thing.

[manycolored.livejournal.com]

Well-chosen gifts of appreciation or tokens to mark important events never go amiss. But this strikes me as one of those so-called gifts that are actually "non-salary compensation" for playing the subordinate gender role. It's degrading to both.

In one move it reduces a deeply personal thing to a transaction, and THEN reduces the transaction to FAR below what it would be worth if all the true costs to the woman were calculated.

[dorei.livejournal.com]

My "push presents" such as they were were simply my then husband taking care of shit for me. I much prefer that to diamond earrings any day. But I'm the practical sort, in that respect, I guess.

Not that I'd ever turn down diamond earrings if they were offered to me, I suppose ...

[tlatzomia.livejournal.com]

Um, no thanks.

[saltbox.livejournal.com]

This is kind of disturbing to me. Then again, I don't plan on spawning, so it's not like I have a real dog in this race.

[sociallyawkrd.livejournal.com]

I am sort of surprised by the general negative feeling about giving gifts at the birth of a child. Yes I told my husband I wanted something. And I gave him something as well. For me it was to have a reminder of the event. I know the emerald ring I got will always be associated with that for the rest of my life. Long after T grows up and has a family of his own. I bought Tom a nice engraved watch.

We spent years of our lives in the pursuit of a child and at great peril to my life. We spent years of our lives mourning when everything went so terribly wrong. I totally see it as this romantic gesture. It is like my wedding ring.

[graene.livejournal.com]

I remember being surprised and very touched that vondow bought me special sheets after Miss M was born. His comment that after seeing the birth, he couldn't ask me to sleep on anything rougher made sense at the time. I admit, I am openly asking for pampering this time around, especially with this pregnancy not being as easy, but not just from him and with much appreciation for all that I am receiving, particularly the healthy baby-healthy mom result.

Still, if I were asking for dollar signs, I think I'd just as soon have a fully paid insurance policy for better sleep.