the baby bonus

[rm]

It is, despite the tone of the Times, hardly a new idea. Certainly it was a done thing in the world of my childhood, but like the non-romantic vision of the engagement ring, it was a form of insurance.

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/12/06/fashion/06push.html

Comments

[drfardook.livejournal.com]

I'm so glad I'm avoiding all of that kind of crap.

Yes honey, let me show my appreciation for being the receptacle for my seed by giving you a financial reward for continuing my family name. This would be much bigger if it was a boy. On second thought, I have to pay for the dowry, give those rocks back.

[rm.livejournal.com]

Exactly

[feyandstrange.livejournal.com]

I admit I sort of like the trend of giving a mom something for her/something to make her feel attractive, as well as mommy-baby things. But I'm the kind of person who, if I ever bred, would desperately need to separate my identity from the mommy role.

I have to admit that I cynically wonder if the trend towards stones other than diamonds is because of the low resale value of diamonds, too. If one wants an insurance policy...

[beemerbike.livejournal.com]

Hmmm...i might have to keep this in mind. I think diamonds are terribly disgusting as far as gifts go, but other stones without the stench attached to them might be nice....or even a nice massage or spa day.

[heron61.livejournal.com]

Mainstream middle class gender dynamics never cease to horrify me.

[clothing5.livejournal.com]

Cause when my wife had our daughter, I was thinking, "What a perfect time to spend half my savings on something shiny."

[mme-furiosa.livejournal.com]

Nothing says, "Thanks for perpetuating our hegemonic culture of exploitation" like a product of hegemony.

Excuse me while I throw up in my mouth a little.

[rosepurr.livejournal.com]

Yeah, this is nothing new. I know they were popular in my mother and grandmothers' times. Not just as insurance, but as a "reward" for the woman's part in creating a family. It seems a little tacky to put it so bluntly, but it's not a new thing.

[phaenix-ash.livejournal.com]

in my life this took the form of scented candles and lotions and books, mostly from other mothers. every year on T's bday i buy myself some small but pampering to mark the anniversary of what is a much bigger and harder job than i ever imagined.

that being said, the tone of this article is just revolting. the last thing i was thinking when T was born was "give me diamonds!" "baby bling"? shoot me.

[phaenix-ash.livejournal.com]

no kidding!

[lakme.livejournal.com]

Well I rather like the metal sculpture; at least it's sort of a symbolic of the birth of your child gift rather than "Thanks for taking the episiotomy honey" thing.

[manycolored.livejournal.com]

Well-chosen gifts of appreciation or tokens to mark important events never go amiss. But this strikes me as one of those so-called gifts that are actually "non-salary compensation" for playing the subordinate gender role. It's degrading to both.

In one move it reduces a deeply personal thing to a transaction, and THEN reduces the transaction to FAR below what it would be worth if all the true costs to the woman were calculated.

[dorei.livejournal.com]

My "push presents" such as they were were simply my then husband taking care of shit for me. I much prefer that to diamond earrings any day. But I'm the practical sort, in that respect, I guess.

Not that I'd ever turn down diamond earrings if they were offered to me, I suppose ...

[tlatzomia.livejournal.com]

Um, no thanks.

[saltbox.livejournal.com]

This is kind of disturbing to me. Then again, I don't plan on spawning, so it's not like I have a real dog in this race.

[sethg]

Amen.

The article doesn't say much about the occupations of the men involved or the cost of the jewelry. Are these guys so rolling-in-it that their wives would lose face by not getting the occasional new rock to show off to their girlfriends? Are they too busy trying to make partner, or whatever, to spend significant time with their families, and using the bling as a substitute? Are they going into debt or sacrificing college/retirement savings so that their wives can have shiny things?

Somehow I am reminded of the proverb "if you marry for money, you will have to earn every penny of it".

[sociallyawkrd.livejournal.com]

I am sort of surprised by the general negative feeling about giving gifts at the birth of a child. Yes I told my husband I wanted something. And I gave him something as well. For me it was to have a reminder of the event. I know the emerald ring I got will always be associated with that for the rest of my life. Long after T grows up and has a family of his own. I bought Tom a nice engraved watch.

We spent years of our lives in the pursuit of a child and at great peril to my life. We spent years of our lives mourning when everything went so terribly wrong. I totally see it as this romantic gesture. It is like my wedding ring.

[graene.livejournal.com]

I remember being surprised and very touched that vondow bought me special sheets after Miss M was born. His comment that after seeing the birth, he couldn't ask me to sleep on anything rougher made sense at the time. I admit, I am openly asking for pampering this time around, especially with this pregnancy not being as easy, but not just from him and with much appreciation for all that I am receiving, particularly the healthy baby-healthy mom result.

Still, if I were asking for dollar signs, I think I'd just as soon have a fully paid insurance policy for better sleep.

[sethg]

I have nothing against giving gifts, but the article portrayed these presents as more than gifts and more than tokens of respect for the mother; it portrayed them as what the father owed the mother.