Dear Torchwood Fandom redux

[rm]

Dear Torchwood Fandom,

1. Show, don't tell.

2. Just because you are a virgin, doesn't mean Ianto is.

3. I can buy a submissive in bed Jack, occasionally and even habitually (you people writing Jack breath-control fic playing with the immortality thing rock my sick little world), but there are more than logistics you have to make work for the reader if you do this.

4. I'd complain about the all alien vibrator stories, but I'm actually surprised there aren't more of them, so it's okay.

5. Slang. Ianto does not use American slang. Jack probably doesn't use any very current American slang. And finally, misuse of British/Welsh slang is worse than omitting it.

6. How many people do you know who utter long complete sentences while fucking that make perfect sense and are delivered in a perfectly ordinary conversational cadence? Right. So why are Jack and Ianto doing that, exactly?

Comments

[p-zeitgeist.livejournal.com]

Wow. I can't believe we've finally found a point on which I can be Pervier Than Thou.

And I'm not saying another word, not without anonymous commenting enabled.

[rm.livejournal.com]

What, have you written an alien vibrator story?

[rm.livejournal.com]

Grah, I can't even find the setting to turn anonymous commenting on anymore. Where is that?

[p-zeitgeist.livejournal.com]

I don't remember, which probably means I should go look. I've never had to turn it off, so I don't think I've looked at it since the day I established the account.

[rm.livejournal.com]

I had it on for a long time, but I think turned it off in the midst of one of those debates about LJ policy where suddenly dozens of people were coming to my LJ to tell me I was a pedophile and/or a transsexual and it got a little tiring.

[p-zeitgeist.livejournal.com]

And now I've found it! It's manage accounts: manage comment settings.

Turns out I don't even have IP logging on. All I can say is, may I be fortunate enough to be able to keep it that way.

[rm.livejournal.com]

okay, anonymous commenting is on; IP logging off.

[p-zeitgeist.livejournal.com]

But now I can't take advantage of it without identifying myself as clearly as if I were to just post under my own name. Pitiful, isn't it?

So all I will say is that many of my characters talk in complete and complex sentences under even the most distracting of circumstances. So I see no inherent reason why Jack and Ianto shouldn't. Unless, of course, there's something else in their characterizations that suggests they're not people who would; and on that point I have to defer to people who've seen more than a three-minute teaser.