marriage equality backlash

[rm]

As most of you know, there's been some great strides on the gay marriage issue in the last week.

As perhaps fewer of you know (but most of you can surmise), opponents of marriage equality aren't happy and are putting more money, more time, more rhetoric into opposing equal rights for LGBTQ people.

To be frank, I haven't had the time or the fortitude yet to watch the commercials their currently putting forward. I have read the transcripts, though, and I have read the reports that the people claiming to be regular citizens are in fact hired actors.

But I am alarmed. And concerned. And offended.

Regardless of whether you are queer or not, regardless of whether you are an LGBTQ who has any intention of ever taking part in marriage (is it assimilationist? does it fit with our unique cultures? -- these are valid, serious questions) -- this measure of legal equality needs to exist.

But even more than that, the fear-mongering and the anger of people of privilege discovering that they can no longer control the discourse or the lives of others, must not go unaddressed.

I'm old enough to have experienced and witnessed harassment and violence because of the orientation and identity of my friends and myself. It's barely a reality anymore in many places in this country. But it's still real. It still happens. Here, at home. And also, in terrifying measure, abroad.

I want to believe change can come without violence. But I see the rhetoric from the self-proclaimed defenders of so-called traditional marriage, and it's hard, really hard for me to believe that.

I came of age during the ACT UP protests. I wore a t-shirt that showed SILENCE=DEATH in ASL.

Speak.
Speak.
Speak.

bodlon does here with links to the offending campaigns.

Comments

[sykii.livejournal.com]

I hate that my biggest reaction to all the good news has been "oh shit, brace for the backlash."
Ever since that charming fellow offered to splatter M's and my brains all over the wall in the subway elevator, I've given less credence to the idea that there are pockets of this country where it doesn't exist. It's everywhere. Just like us.

[acathartes.livejournal.com]

I am so completely baffled by the anti-gay-marriage stance that I honestly don't know what to *say* in response, except to affirm that I support civil marriage rights for all. I support the right of people to have sex with whom they please, make public commitments with whom they please, dispose their power of attorney and their property to whom they please. The state must not force religious bodies to give their blessing, of course; the state can and should give its own civil sanction to people's decisions.

But to feel threatened, to feel that my own monogamous, heterosexual, we-lik-it-that-way partnership is threatened or tainted or whatever, by someone else having the right to a public commitment, a public party, and the cessation of worrying whether their beloved will be allowed to visit them in the hospital... I just don't get it. I am tone-deaf and color-blind to whatever fear motivates those people.

[santousha.livejournal.com]

Their fear rest upon the belief that if they accept this, where will we end up?
They make the astonishing leap from, if we accept same sex marriage, that means that we accept that homosexuality is a good thing, than what keeps us from accepting bestiality and pedophilia?

Others just live in fear and have no basis for this fear other than that others say it's wrong.

I hope these people remember that not long ago they lived in fear of feminism. I hope they remember that not long ago they lived in fear of african-american rights.
And that these same weapons of fear were utilized to hold on to the status quo.
As a woman when I hear them talking like this, I like the conservatives think: If they take away rights from this group, how long before they try to take away mine?
If that doctor can say it's against his/her believe to treat that person, than what keeps other doctors from saying they refuse to treat me because of the way God made me?

If I accept this now, how far will these fundamentalist go?
If I don't speak now, who will speak for me when they decide to come for me?
And it is jarring that many non-LBTGQ don't think this way.
Seriously people, what makes you think that you are safe from persecution?

[ookpik.livejournal.com]

I hope these people remember that not long ago they lived in fear of feminism. I hope they remember that not long ago they lived in fear of african-american rights.

In my experience, many of them (certainly not all) still fear or hate both of these, alas.

[santousha.livejournal.com]

yes, you are right. And if people start accepting that you can deny groups their rights and freedoms, how long before they move on to the next group to deny their freedom?

[jendaby.livejournal.com]

Thank you for linking to that post. I saw the ad yesterday, and haven't really been able to form the right words to express how saddened I am by the fact that people can be so willfully ignorant and terribly filled with hate. you and bodlon sum it up well.

[gairid.livejournal.com]

The deliberate distortion set forth in the newest monstrous 'ad' from NOM is infuriating but not unexpected; these people are not going to change, no way, no how. They believe what their crazed leaders tell them and no amount of exposure to gay dads or lesbians and their happy, well-adjusted children, gay folk stepping up and helping out others in their communities and neighborhoods, serving with bravery and honor in the military or anything else will change their tiny, myopic view on things. It's their way or the highway. Sickening, but true.

My partner and I are middle-aged stodgy lesbians who live in a ridiculously rural area in, of all places, Indiana. Ironically she is originally from Iowa and I was born and raised in Connecticut--we'd move back to one or the other if we were somehow able to sell our little house for something approaching what we are paying for it, but that's not in the cards right now. Besides, we have too many animals to uproot at this point in time! I'll say this, though--if you take religion out of the picture, it changes a lot. Our few neighbors (none of whom attends church with any sort of regularity) are nice people who pitch in to help us when we need it as we do for them. It's a bit different in the closest town, though, with the church signs that exhort people to vote for the marriage amendment act that they are trying to put through in this state and the hostile looks if we unthinkingly offend them by taking one another's hand. Not that that stops us, mind.

Getting back to the new 'A Storm is Coming' ad -- the outtakes from the actors they had to hire to put forth their hateful message are rather amusing. Considering their hysterical reaction to the legalization of same sex marriage in two more states, one would think they would have plenty of strident drama queens within their own group of sheeple to step up to the task, you know?

Here are the audition tapes on YouTube, uncovered by our friends at the Human Rights Campaign:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lRjVDZxho54

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cwqNFBt33o4

[santousha.livejournal.com]

It's disgusting how these people hide behind their religion. As a christian woman I am appalled.

[phaenix-ash.livejournal.com]

This week I've been completely caught up with work for one of the major foundations involved in working towards marriage equality. It's been thrilling and horribly disturbing work and there's been a lot of talk about ad campaigns and responses and how to get ahead of the punch, as it were on these issues.

What was really disturbing was the vendor had problems placing the work, a lot of contractors didn't want to touch it because of the subject matter and the status of the foundation. But that just made more for me!

[eac.livejournal.com]

I'm underwater at work this week, but your reminder here is important. I will get to it by the weekend.

I'm in San Francisco, and my friends on LJ are almost universally like-minded on this subject, but facebook is another matter.

[sykii.livejournal.com]

By the way, not that absurdity makes them any less scary, but they just changed their acronym from NOM to 2M4M.
I shit you not.

[rm.livejournal.com]

Hahahaaha. They keep getting stupider.

[sykii.livejournal.com]

As JoeMyGod points out, this is actually evidence that there aren't as many closet cases in the organization as we'd all, I think, assumed.
"Cuz a 'mo would have put a stop to THAT acronym in a heartbeat."

[ladyofthelog.livejournal.com]

craigslist ftw

[djfanboy.livejournal.com]

except on craigslist, 2M4M means something entirely different...

[guruwench.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry that this backlash is taking place - that really saddens me. I'm lucky enough that my country legalized equal marriage rights some years ago, but I know that politics are precarious enough at times that the "right" combination of circumstances could reverse that. I will remain watchful and will speak out for equality wherever possible and needed. (And you can be sure my votes go that way, too.)

[bodlon.livejournal.com]

Regardless of whether you are queer or not, regardless of whether you are an LGBTQ who has any intention of ever taking part in marriage (is it assimilationist? does it fit with our unique cultures? -- these are valid, serious questions) -- this measure of legal equality needs to exist.

See, I think this is the crux of it here.

Having rights -- to marry, to speak, to eat No Hot Dog Buns -- is a social good. Just because a right exists doesn't mean that people are suddenly compelled to take advantage of it. A person should be able to choose whether to have an abortion or not, to drink alcohol or not, to have sex or not, to practice a religion or not, etc.

Having a right is not a problem. It's when one group is preferenced, and other groups don't have the option to do a thing or not that there is a problem.

[rm.livejournal.com]

Exactly.

One of the things that concerns me is a certain degree of apathy from some supporters of equal marriage rights, because they are interested in marriage or because there are other critical LGTBQ issues that are getting over-looked in this fight or because there's the belief the bigots will die off soon. As a people, we can't be waiting around on this.

[stardragonca.livejournal.com]

No. We can't.

[thatwordgrrl.livejournal.com]

People not from California really had no concept of what it was like to *constantly* be jackhammered with Yes on 8 ads. Radio, TV, newspapers -- it was everywhere for months on end. Up to and including those annoying auto-dialers that STILL leave a 3-minute message if they only get an answering machine.

It was exhausing, emotionally and physically, as well as utterly heartwrenching.

[gement.livejournal.com]

I want to speak, and I'm not sure where. Input appreciated.

My LJ is an echo chamber, and other people have already spread this news far and wide throughout my friendslist. I would reach no changeable minds there.

My workplace is generally progressive, and the topic does not come up because We Do Not Discuss Politics At Work, which I think is healthy and appropriate.

I'm nearly a recluse in my day to day life; I socialize with fewer than a dozen people outside of work on a regular basis. (Yeesh, I hadn't counted. It really is that small.) Definitely no changeable minds there.

My experience with written word (which I'm good at) is that I can only really absorb written word that I already agree with, and can only be persuaded to change my mind about six inches to either direction in print. Anything further than that just rolls off as "crazies on the internet." I have to assume mine would look the same to people who disagree with me.

I live near a college campus. Sometimes there are changeable minds there, I suppose. I don't know in what format to reach people, though.

I present myself as visibly gender-flexible in my day to day life and don't hide my queerness/polyness/etc in conversation, for what's that worth. But I'd like to do more and I don't know where.

Any suggestions from the peanut gallery would be appreciated. (I'm in Seattle, if anyone's plugging particular events there.)

[rm.livejournal.com]

Two ideas.

One: Facebook. If you use Facebook like I do (which is not really) it means people from you past friends you there and you have no idea what their politics are. For a lot of people I know, it's a place to get the message out to folks who aren't necessarily on board, without having to do a lot of direct interaction, because it isn't their home space.

Two: the echo chamber isn't bad. If we remind everyone to speak, eventually we remind someone to speak who has access to people who don't, who might need to hear what they have to say -- either to become active in a cause they agree with but have not participated in; or to reach out to people they may know who are anti-marriage equality and haven't been challenged to think about their stance.

[gement.livejournal.com]

I am encouraged. Thank you.

[newsbean.livejournal.com]

Would you mind if I posted a re-direct link from my journal to here?

[irreparable.livejournal.com]

I am reminded of Keith Olberman's wonderful monologue on Prop 8 and wish that more people would listen to the man's words, for they are truth and sense. Sigh.

[forioscribe.livejournal.com]

Listen, these people--most of them Neocon fascist swine who were repudiated in the last election--are getting DESPERATE, which is clear proof of the utter moral bankruptcy of their "ideology." And I use quotes because it isn't ideology at all, it's rather institutionalized hate and ignorance, nothing more than empty propaganda spouted daily by assholes like Rush Limbaugh.

There's a definite political and social sea change that's going on right now, and it's led by the large group of under-30s who will soon displace the old fucks who cling to those old prejudices. There's no future in their ideas, that's why they're making so much noise right now.

I see the whole thing as a positive shift of the tectonic plates of our culture. And there's not a fucking thing the fascist swine can do about it.

[abbismom.livejournal.com]

Thank you for posting this. I'm so confused how my being able to marry my partner "punishes" and "affects" the people in that awful commercial. I notice they don't get into specifics. Thank you for encouraging bodlon to unlock that eloquent entry.

Here's a commercial I think you'll enjoy:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZ9sBkgDRzY