sundries

[rm]

Last night I received a brief Facebook note from a woman I attended a dance camp with as a child. It had a lovely cadence to it, that really captured the feeling of the way we are fond of the past, but also sealed off from it -- This must be the only Racheline I ever knew.

It took me a long time to summon up the memory of her -- the face is hazy, possibly mixed with that of another girl, but I remember and outfit of hers, and I'll have to ask about random details of social interactions she may too not remember clearly to be sure of who she is. But if I'm correct, she's the one who got me to read The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test. She was terribly worldly, and we were, I guess about 12?

Regardless, I found myself moved by it, but also confronted with an internal awkwardness that is new to me and exists particularly when interacting with people from my childhood. Being told I looked male was a way other girls told me I was ugly growing up -- in largely female circles, as all of my childhood was, this is a common way in which women police each other normativity. I don't recall any such behavior from this woman, nor do I even recall any of it happening in her presence, but I am still left with this visceral feeling of nervousness and instinct to be apologetic or justifying the fact that I'm using a (still need an adjective -- butch? masculine? cross-dressed? androgynous? genderqueer?) photo of me on Facebook right now.

Of course, she probably doesn't care particularly. Her recollection of me was of interest enough that she sent me a note and asked how I was. It's really so simple: all I have to do is respond.

Aphid Attack Action is live. Man, those little fuckers are everywhere. Soapy water. Lots of soapy water.

Meanwhile, one of the little stalks with a tiny tiny pepper snapped off. So we're down to the large growing pepper, and the two tiny peppers that I don't know if they are going to get bigger -- and many many other flowers that could turn into peppers. I suspect the pepper loss is either a lack of sun for the plant to support that much fruit or a bird attack. Gardening is hard.

Lots of emerging tomatoes -- I'll count soon. Also, new buds on the zebra. Hopefully these will be inclined to become tomatoes. The last died before opening, although the plant is very healthy.

Patty and I are seeing the Coraline musical tonight.

Comments

[random-girl.livejournal.com]

I have no idea if you can even get ladybugs where you are. They sell them out here in the farm/rural areas in milk boxes. You buy them, but keep them contained until dusk. At dusk, you let them go on your plants. They are likely to stay as they don't like to fly at night, and if you are in a building without much close flora, they'll probably stick around to eat all the aphids. Oh, and the added bonus is that they are lovely.