sundries

[rm]

Last night I received a brief Facebook note from a woman I attended a dance camp with as a child. It had a lovely cadence to it, that really captured the feeling of the way we are fond of the past, but also sealed off from it -- This must be the only Racheline I ever knew.

It took me a long time to summon up the memory of her -- the face is hazy, possibly mixed with that of another girl, but I remember and outfit of hers, and I'll have to ask about random details of social interactions she may too not remember clearly to be sure of who she is. But if I'm correct, she's the one who got me to read The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test. She was terribly worldly, and we were, I guess about 12?

Regardless, I found myself moved by it, but also confronted with an internal awkwardness that is new to me and exists particularly when interacting with people from my childhood. Being told I looked male was a way other girls told me I was ugly growing up -- in largely female circles, as all of my childhood was, this is a common way in which women police each other normativity. I don't recall any such behavior from this woman, nor do I even recall any of it happening in her presence, but I am still left with this visceral feeling of nervousness and instinct to be apologetic or justifying the fact that I'm using a (still need an adjective -- butch? masculine? cross-dressed? androgynous? genderqueer?) photo of me on Facebook right now.

Of course, she probably doesn't care particularly. Her recollection of me was of interest enough that she sent me a note and asked how I was. It's really so simple: all I have to do is respond.

Aphid Attack Action is live. Man, those little fuckers are everywhere. Soapy water. Lots of soapy water.

Meanwhile, one of the little stalks with a tiny tiny pepper snapped off. So we're down to the large growing pepper, and the two tiny peppers that I don't know if they are going to get bigger -- and many many other flowers that could turn into peppers. I suspect the pepper loss is either a lack of sun for the plant to support that much fruit or a bird attack. Gardening is hard.

Lots of emerging tomatoes -- I'll count soon. Also, new buds on the zebra. Hopefully these will be inclined to become tomatoes. The last died before opening, although the plant is very healthy.

Patty and I are seeing the Coraline musical tonight.

Comments

[ladyaelfwynn.livejournal.com]

Facebook has been really freaking strange for me.

The weirdest is the fact that there are quite a few people on my list that have entirely different political leanings than I do. Luckily, they aren't loud and the one who was was a more a friend of a friend and I dropped her because seeing her rabid Conservative rhetoric on my list every freaking day was too much.

The flip side, is that I got to wish my second First grade teacher (the first left on maternity leave) a happy retirement, in Belgium, through her daughter.

I've found, for me, that FB relationships are far less intimate than LJ. It's mostly idle chit chat on FB and LJ is more detailed. I feel far closer to my LJ friends than my FB friends even though I've met more of FB in person and arguably have known them longer (since so many I knew when I was growing up).