(no subject)

[rm]

If you're here from torchwood_three the content you are looking for is at the end of this post, so scroll down past the rest of my life.

Last night, I caught a woman on the train. She was giving money to a homeless guy and lost her balance, stagger-fell down the entire length of the train and pretty much plummeted into my lap. Sadly, I was playing a video game on my iPod and not really paying attention, meaning that I didn't see her because she planted both her heels (thank god she was wearing flats) firmly into the tops of my feet with all her weight. Luckily I, and my dress shoes, survived. Anyway, I did actually manage to grab her before she actually sat and me and stood her back up. She kept asking if I was fine, I was, and I told her not to worry about it. Then she slunk off to another car in embarrassment and I've been thinking about that ever since -- since I would have done the same -- although the fact is she did nothing wrong.

The Sacred Heart School's version of Flame Trees remains so awesome. This makes probably zero sense to any non-Australian's on my friends list, with the exception of folks that saw Little Fish.

We have our bus tickets, our hotel reservation and our burlesque tickets. Boston is almost under control.

My exhaustion caught up with me last night, and I was in bed by midnight, asleep, even with the lights on as Patty read. This morning, I didn't wake up at six as I normally do instinctually, and even when my alarm went off at eight I was having none of it. Gaaaaaah.

I'm so tickled people want to discuss Torchwood with me. Sadly, I can't quite muster the energy right now. Give me a few days -- possibly until after we're back from Boston? I've a few things for later down in this post, but responses to specific queries, I'm not sure I've the energy for right now.

Harry fucking Potter. Need to see it, no idea when that is going to happen.

I am worried about our basil plant while we are away as it seems to need water twice a day. Otherwise, gardening is going well!

I had a realization today on the subway, which is that my upbringing was such that women were very discrete about pregnancy -- pregnancy clothes were extremely voluminous; the curve of the belly was never, ever visible, because that would mean people acknowledging that the act of sexual congress had taken place. I'm not even joking. I'm always slightly amazed when I see hot pregnant women in fashionable clothes on the subway; it is perfectly normal, but it always strikes me as so recently a modern notion that this is true and that omg, my childhood was even CRAZIER than I already knew. Perhaps this is why it's so hard for me to live in the world, perhaps it's because I never really did.

Patty has just paged me to inform me that there's been a squirrel attack on the garden! But she thinks she chased it away before it did anything. Clearly, there's an interested party though, as I had to fix some soil this morning as it seemed like a squirrel had come to dig holes for nuts. Argh!

Patty wants to know if scarecrows work on squirrels.

I've never been to ReaderCon but considered going this year both because authors I am friends with an authors I've never met who I admire were attending. However, after reading this I feel perhaps glad I did not go. But, actually, the post heartens me -- because it says to me we are having some valuable, fandom-wide growing pains, which might in time have good results.

I am following the Sotomayor confirmation hearings. However, they are so appalling to watch in a white-men-are-normal-everyone-else-is-suspect way, that I can't tune in a lot or I seethe with rage.

On that note, do not bring the tone argument to my door. It's not my job to be gracious about your bigotry.

And on that note, moominpuppet links us to a piece about being bi in Britain.

From the department of "I can't cope," hllangel alerts us to this which is an article praising the supposed "pro-American sentiment of Torchwood." Among other things, it insists Jack is American (he's not) and compared Gwen to Palin. I CAN'T COPE. Get your crazy paws off my big gay show!

Today on Thinky Thoughts About Torchwood, I want to talk about Jack and heroism. The event that leads to Jack becoming earth-bound is him being willing to sacrifice himself on the Game Station in Doctor Who. This is what heroes do, especially in our popular conception of heroism. And while it can be argued that Jack did this because he has reformed (true) and loves Rose and the Doctor (also true) I think he also does it because it's something easy to get his head around, it's an idea he grew up reading about in the 51st century version of comic books -- he's happy to go out in a blaze if he's got to go, it's romantic and Jack is nothing if not romantic.

But this leads to him becoming immortal, and once Jack can't die, he also can't die for any one else, not in a way that means anything, not in a way that speaks to the little boy who maybe didn't want to be a soldier, but sure did want to be a hero. It's a terrible thing, and one that robs Jack (and the audience) of a lot of illusions -- we get hints at this through Torchwood seasons 1 and 2, but it's only in Children of Earth where we really get the message: being a hero is not romantic; war is not romantic -- and I think that's so important, because woe, Jack does make being a hero look romantic, does make war look romantic, and those are terrible things to think, ever.

When Ianto dies, Jack has nothing to bargain with, because his life is not his own, even as he will live it endlessly. When he uses Stephen to defeat the 4-5-6, it is the same -- he cannot act as surrogate. Jack cannot take another's pain onto himself to save them, rather he can only live with pain unimaginable to any of us.

If we look merely at where CoE ends, the message is bleak and pretty horrible. I certainly walked out of my first viewing of it feeling destroyed for Jack and being angry that he was, I thought, a coward. But without his own life to give, it's not that Jack's a coward, it's that he can't be a hero in the simplistic lexicon we all know and all think we'd like to play with and would engage in properly if push ever came to shove in our own lives.

However, if we look at Jack's arc as it relates also to Doctor Who, specifically Gridlock, it's a particularly unique Hero's Journey. Jack -- the eternally youthful and exuberant boy -- must go on alone, for whatever reason, for whatever trials until he is alone enough with himself (in his identity as the Face of Boe) until he can once again give up his own life for millions. And there, in that moment, in Gridlock it's beautiful, not because Jack gets to be our childlike notion of a hero again, but because it is him being returned, for just a moment before he goes, to the life he once had -- one about which he actually has the power of choice.

In the end, we have no idea how many people Jack has loved that he has had to sacrifice directly or indirectly because he loved them. But in the end we do know that Jack -- who really does have epic amounts of self-loathing -- ego aside, finally loved himself.

So yeah. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it. (and I'm also thinking.... hrrr, there's some academic analysis to be done somewhere close to this on this....)

Comments

[tsarina.livejournal.com]

Maybe you could get a big fake owl to scare the squirrels.

[rednwhiterose.livejournal.com]

Patty wants to know if scarecrows work on squirrels.

Human hair does. Whenever I got my hair cut as a kid my neighbor (lovely little old lady) would ask for the bits I cut off. She said untreated, human hair works wonders at keep vermon away from plants and veggies. Apparently, she'd place bits of it around the base of the plant and they wouldn't be bothered (and they would compost rather well to boot).

Watering the Basil

[gairid.livejournal.com]

RE: the basil plant: you may want to put it in the house while you're away. You can also buy several types of watering accoutrements to assure thtat the plant gets enough water or use a plastic 2 liter bottle, punch some holes in the bottom and place them next to your plants. Fill with water as needed. The water is absorbed into the soil gradually as the soil dries.

[nisaa.livejournal.com]

I love reading your thoughts on CoE, especially these about Jack. There's no caffeine in me yet this morning to form coherent thoughts of my own about it. (Also, I'm forcing myself to be hush hush about it until more people I know have seen it, especially those who made it possible for me to see it.)


Is it weird for you that CoE and Half-Blood Prince are both out within a week of each other? I know how passionate you are about both of them. Are you more prepared going into Half-Blood Prince because you already know what's going to happen?

[tod-hollykim.livejournal.com]

A simpler thing for your basil plant while you're away. If the basil plant is in it's on pot that has holes in the bottom, simply get a deep bowl, place the pot in the bowl, water the plant just before you leave, and then fill the bowl beneath it, too. The basil will draw water up as it needs it

As to pregnancy clothes, even loose to hide the belly is better than what it was at one time. My mom and I went to the Met once for a costume exhibit and they had a prenancy corset! The thing looked like samurai armor. Damn wonder our grandparents and great grands weren't all born deformed.

Travel safe on your trip!

I like Boston. It was where I went on my very first, planned it all on my own, vacation way more years than I can to admit ago. ;-)

[mme-furiosa.livejournal.com]

Quick thought on plants: there are a couple of options. Garden supply houses sell these cool things, ceramic soil spikes with tubes attached that you place in a vessel of water. They water plants automatically as soil dries out. Alternately: place pots in dishes with an inch ow water in them, which will bottom-water through capillary action as soil dries out.

Also, you might want to put plants inside a sunny window to protect against squirrels and birds.

I'm told that mounding crushed ice on the soil will time-release water as it melts (which takes several days) but I've never tried it myself.

[christinenorris.livejournal.com]

Not scarecrows, but try stringing some aluminum pie plates together and hanging them near the plants. The noise will definitely scare away birds, and it might work for squirrels.

[algernon33.livejournal.com]

I Lurves me the Torchwood as well. I've resisted not reading your posts about it(due to I know I'll get addicted to them)but decided to say what the hell and dive right in....

Your analysis of Jack is spot-on. Jack is one Damn good conflicted Character.

-A33

[rm.livejournal.com]

For me it was always the books, because the films have been so much less ambiguous. HBP is the one that is dearest to my heart though, and all I hope to get out of the film is a visual sense of truth (much like I felt in the design of Grimmaud Place) as relates to the fannish work I've done in the HP universe. If the Snape stuff resonates emotionally, I will be grateful, but also surprised.

The simultaneousness factor is only trying really because of how CoE ended, especially since my first response was "Jack you fucking coward, Ianto would be so ashamed of you." I felt ashamed of myself after my first watch of Day 5, and that was awful, with HBP and Snape's "Don't Call Me Coward!" line coming.

But then I watched it again. And no, Severus Snape is not a coward. And neither is Jack Harkness. But yeah... I can't do it this week.

[jinian.livejournal.com]

Powdered cayenne pepper is my choice for anti-squirrel dusting, but it helps to really hate them as I'm sure it's very uncomfortable when they get it in their noses and maybe eyes. It doesn't last all that well, though given a finite squirrel population (ha ha) they do appear to learn. I'm definitely going to try the human hair idea too.

[coffee-kris.livejournal.com]

I'm still in recovery from the devastating ending of CoE. And to make a horrid week worse, my best friend died. So I went to mass on Sunday, and I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I lit a candle for Ianto (and my friend and her family). And I prayed for the courage to get through the pain both of these events have inflicted upon me. Anyway, the thing I wanted to share is the Gospel reading that day. It was Mark 6:7-13 total, Jesus sending his disciples out in pairs. The key verses that stunned me were these:

"He said to them, "Wherever you enter a house, stay there until you leave from there. Whatever place does not welcome you or listen to you, leave there and shake the dust off your feet in testimony against them.
So they went off and preached repentance."

I just couldn't believe that reading was the one read all over the Catholic world the weekend after CoE. Jack's kicking the dirt of Earth off his boots. Yeah. It made me cry harder.

[rm.livejournal.com]

I'm really sorry for your loss and I'm really glad you're so comfortable with how fact and fiction intertwine, even if that's not a comfort right now. And yeah, that reading is spooky.

[cozzene.livejournal.com]

1. Miep--totally hot when she was pregnant.
2. cover your tomato plants with thin white cloth to keep squirrels away. They'll still get the sun they need
3. Bring mr. basil in and just leave up high where he gets some light.

[fmanalyst.livejournal.com]

It struck me this week that the Face of Boe is a bodhisattva, one who is off the wheel of death and rebirth but who remains in order to guide others toward enlightenment. I think perhaps it comes at least partly because I went back and reread that part of IHNIIHBT about the Face of Boe (my absolutely favorite section of that fic). So what I want to see from Jack now is how he starts on that path.

[rm.livejournal.com]

YES YES YES YES YES. Totally why we need S4 or some serious Jack time in DW.

And thank you!

[fmanalyst.livejournal.com]

And to pursue this idea a step further, what we seem to see in Gridlock is the Face of Boe finally passing into nirvana. The more I think about COE (and I still haven't watched Day 5, just read massively about it), it seems to me that a Buddhist reading of Jack's arc would be utterly fascinating. I just wish my understanding of Buddhism was more than my superficial exposure to it so far.

[rm.livejournal.com]

Totally agreed.

Maybe this will be how I finally get Patty into the show ;)

And you should watch Day 5, but it's really, really hard. Harder than Day 4, which is saying something.

[fmanalyst.livejournal.com]

I've decided to wait until it airs on BBC America, just so I can sit on my sofa, instead of at the computer, and watch it on a good screen instead of on youtube, esp. since I don't ever have much success with torrents.

[mellacita.livejournal.com]

You win the Torchwood internets for the day. Framing Jack's journey through Buddism would be fascinating, as you note. (Shame on me that I didn't grasp it before, although I did momentarily find myself hoping that Jack takes up vipassana meditation for a while because right now he is so full of self-hatred it makes me ache for the character.)

[darthhellokitty.livejournal.com]

The more I think about it, they more I forgive Jack for walking away. I think he HAS to, at that point. The sheer amount of trauma he's gone through in such a short time requires recovery, even for a man who can't die. I'm already seeing What Jack Does When He's Gone fic, a lot of them with the Doctor bringing him out of despair.

Who knows what he'll do on Doctor Who later this year. I'm a little worried about that.

[wyld-dandelyon.livejournal.com]

I don't think anything works on city squirrels, except live humans being in their faces about it. And a girl's gotta sleep sometime!

[mellacita.livejournal.com]

I do the pot-inside-a-bowl (er, that sounds funny) and fill th eouter container so it draws up water while I am gone. It's worked quite well. I have also left a plant in the sink with the faucet just open enough to get a drop every few minutes, but that resulted in Disaster so don't do that.

Have fun in Boston. I don't know about you, but as upset as I initially was over Certain Events (beyond just the one at the end of 4, for sure) in Torchwood, the more I process, the more I am okay with it and find myself really hoping we get to see Jack evolve and heal (just not instantaneously, I hope). He'll probably still cycle quite a bit, but I really have to believe his story goes more like the Buddhism analogy above than as, I dunno, Sisyphus or Prometheus.

[rm.livejournal.com]

Yup. I've responded a bit in comments about how angry I was with him when I first watched Day 5, but now I'm good. Grief-stricken, but good.

[eumelia.livejournal.com]

I like what you say about the heroism.
It very much related to the way I view war and heroism.
It's currently the third anniversary of the war in which I served (second Lebanon war, I was in the HQ) and what went on in Day Five was such an anathema to what we're used to in heroes... him watching Steven die... holding Ianto and pleading with the 4-5-6... it was the one of the most poignant and unromantic scenes ever.
Bloody brilliant and painful.

Thank you.

[kalichan.livejournal.com]

I was never angry with Jack for leaving. Just for giving up in the first half of CoE. I hate his propensity to do that. I wanted to see rage, there, not... depression. Fight first, mourn later. Jesus. Although I suppose it's in character... same thing he did when Daleks showed up in Journey's End.