sundries: WTC weather, the dying season, and fandom fuckups

[rm]

My Dragon*Con schedule is here -- this may go at the top of "sundries" until the con starts, since people keep asking.

The petitions to get an apology for Turing are gaining steam. There is now also an international petition in addition to one for British citizens. Info and links. Go read xtricks being eloquent about it.

Dear fan_landers. BRILLIANT.

Today the World Trade Center weather started. It's the weather between hurricanes, the day after storms and if you lived here then, you will always know what I mean. I should have expected it this morning when Patty asked me to fetch down the extra blankets for her.

I don't like summer. It's not my season. The heat limits me and is not kind to my looks, but it still feels a bit like freedom, and this year, particularly, I am sad to see it end. Even if fall is kindest to me, this year the passing of summer feels like an acute kind of loss. Sometimes, I wonder if I'm made that way, simply by virtue of having been born in October and my first knowledge of the world thus being that of dying things.

It's been a terrible week on the friendslist. We got back from the beach, and so many people lost their fathers or got terrible news from the doctor, the sort of terrible when even the adequate news fits that description. This morning there was an email from a church I don't attend (the churches the appeal to me in form, lose me in belief; the churches that I could muddle along with in belief lack any ritual of interest for me), an update on one of their clergy and his cancer. He's dying now. Or about to be. I had to stop myself from bursting into tears in my bed for a man I've never met. Who knows what that was about. As I remarked to bodlon the other day, my ability to deal well with death in general or, for that matter, any sort of peril directed at my loved ones has gone to shit post CoE.

Yesterday I managed to talk to my mother, informing her we did not die in Asbury Park. She told me about walking into Ocean Grove when I was a baby and sitting on the curbs drawing houses. She's asked Patty and I to come over so she can show us the drawings when we get back from Atlanta. As a peace offering, I'll take it. Also, her work is rather charming, and I realize Patty hasn't really seen her art before.

The incredible amounts of fail that is the shoddy research that ogi_ogas is attempting to do on fanfiction communities for his upcoming book porn on the Internet and how it highlights gender differences (that's as kind of a description as I am capable of mustering) continues to gnaw at me.

First, yes, I early on posted a link to the survey, before I had even finished taking it and had hit all the layers of problems in it. I then changed that post as things became clear. I made a mistake and I tried to fix it. I know there was some degree of "Aha, gotcha, look at rm fuckup" on at least one forum about it, and you know what folks? Sometimes, I fuck up! Be less excited.

Moving along, as I don't think I even merit a footnote in this particular saga as other people were on this much faster and with much more volume than I -- I can't stop dwelling on this mess. I hate the study of women as if slightly more than 50% of the world population is exotic.

I'll talk about that more in a minute, but first you might want to pause and read shaggirl's perspective on the mess, since she's part of fandom and helped the researchers with the egregious survey; I don't feel her statements mitigate any of what has happened and I think her error in judgment was pretty significant. Additionally, I don't think that fandom actually tends to close ranks against responsible researchers -- there's a lot of them who have done good or at least promising work.

I hate that I never know how to talk about how these sorts of studies make me feel, because I'm atypical in being genderqueer or a masculine-identified woman or whatever the fuck I am today (seriously, I'm wearing a cute little dress); my own internalized-misogyny risks coming into play in reacting to these things and that's no fun either. And I fucking hate to see fandom maligned as wacky and trivial and somehow second-rate even as pornography (when it's about 800 other things too) because it can contain emotions or is most often textually based. I loathe being condescended to in the manner that happened when the "researchers" basically patted someone on the head for explaining the existence of novel-length fanfiction -- thanks, I know where fanfiction lives in the legal marketplace, I know just how proud I should be of finishing a 200,000 word epic with my cowriter, and, oh yeah, btw? Me? Published author who's been signing contracts on stuff ALL WEEK.

So I suppose "blow me" is really not an appropriate or mature response to this whole thing (On the other hand this response qualifies as "one reason RPF is useful as a critical and narrative tool"), but it just makes me vibrate with rage and sorrow. Also, exclamation points and false enthusiasm as you try to fix your mistakes? Very transparent to a community with many members who have been on the Internet for decades (yup, it'll be 20 years for me soon).

It feels like (and this is what oppression does, this is what hate does, this is what it gets like in our heads sometimes if you've never experienced it -- we can hate each other and we can hate our selves and we have to spend every fucking day trying to untangle it because biased and bigoted opinions heard so often start to hear and feel and sound like the truth) most of the world (yup, men and women alike) will always assume anything I do as a woman, anything the predominantly female parts of fandom do will always be little more than worthless, quaint or desperate. If you're told something often enough, you have to fight not to believe it, and the misogyny FROM WOMEN in fandom can be terrible, and gut-wrenching and I hate how complicated this battle is in my head, because I am saying this as someone wearing a dress because she feels like, and someone who also says, quite jovially, "just because I have a cunt doesn't make me less of a man" and I don't feel like a big ol' mess until surveys come around and ask me if I liked "boy things" or "girl things" when I was little and make a point that I'm abnormal and wrong (atypical, sure, but that's different) if I can't easily categorize things as such (or recall the first time I had shame over a sexual feeling, which really, is more than a bit like asking "when did you stop beating your wife?").

But ogi_ogas? Irresponsible. And blithely so. And that, in my book, adds up to maliciously so.

I can't wait to see how hard the IRB at his institution comes down on his head. Oh yeah. People have written. On the other hand, it has also been pointed out by rivkat over on Dreamwidth (thanks to jonquil for the link) that the IRB may not be the right instrument for the problem and raises important thoughtfood on fannish visibility and how we can, or should, respond as individuals and as a community to the medicalized tone of research that makes anyone who is gender deviant, anyone who is kinky, and, in fact, any woman that enjoys sex, into little more than a curio for study and dismissal.

Note to random people who don't get it: Not only is fandom smart, not only is fandom filled with scholars, not only is fandom full of people of all genders and orientations and worldviews who are very, very good at advocating for themselves, not only is fandom inclined to stick together in the face of asshattery from outside our community -- fandom is wrathful, and we make sure bad actions against us have consequences. And it's not because we're ashamed or bitter or fearful, but because we're proud and clever and everything people like ogi_ogas think we're not.

In other news of appalling bias: ginmar reports on a girl getting suspended from school for harassing a Muslim student and lying about it and then adds her own commentary, to which I can only say, "yes."

I have no patience at all for people directing hostility at Edward James Olmos for canceling his Dragon*Con appearance, especially not with the phrase "do your job." Odds are, he is doing his job and has shooting on a project, as guests usually only cancel because of other professional engagements (making stuff fans love) or unfortunate personal circumstances that you wouldn't wish on anyone (see: the curse of Torchsong). So people? I get the disappointment, have at. Anger at the universe, even. But lay off EJO, who is incredibly gracious to fans and has done a great deal to bring overdue mainstream respect to SF/F storytelling.

Comments

[brewsternorth.livejournal.com]

The petitions to get an apology for Turing are gaining steam.

There was a BBC News article about the petitions, which is extraordinary (I signed the British one as "expatriate").

ontd_political posted an article (a v. triggery one alas) that pointed out that not only in fandom can you find extensive female misogyny, but that it's generally (not exclusively!) a generational thing.

And yeah, I hope those pollsters get the book (of rubrics/ethics, not *their* waste of pulp!) justly thrown at them.

[rm.livejournal.com]

Sadly, I don't think it's generational. I see it with women my mother's age as often as I see it with women younger than Patty.

[mellacita.livejournal.com]

Today the World Trade Center weather started. It's the weather between hurricanes, the day after storms and if you lived here then, you will always know what I mean. I should have expected it this morning when Patty asked me to fetch down the extra blankets for her.

Well, I didn't live there then, but here in DC we are experiencing similar weather. My first thought when coming outside was, wow, it feels like September 11 outside. It wasn't the WTC, but the smell and appearance of thick black smoke across the river and the fighter jets overhead and the mass on-foot exodus up Mass Ave on a crisp, sunny day...well. Yeah. Same weather, today, and it gets me every year.

I really hope BU's IRB smacks him hard. I wrote to complain, yesterday, and mentioned that I was an alum and a monthly giver, although those two things have no bearing on the IRB. Maybe my letter will get read sooner. Even if you leave aside the important stuff about attitudes toward fandom and biases and such, the fact that they changed the survey as it was being taken, and seem to have used IP addresses to publically link an LJer with her responses is incredibly unethical and methodoligically unsound.

[ladyaelfwynn.livejournal.com]

Being a fellow metro DCer, I had a similar feeling on the walk to the bus stop this morning. I looked up into a spotless dawn sky with a touch of a nip in the air and thought, "It's just like it was on Sept. 11." And then I thought about having to flee the city for a bit and how events like that effect far more people than ever really get counted.

[ladyaelfwynn.livejournal.com]

Somewhere over the last few years, I realized I have no idea where I fit in the grand scheme of things. I don't know how good I really am at anything because everything seems so subjective and the credentials that prove you know stuff seem to get regularly ignored. I'd like to say I've given up worrying about it but the fact that I'm writing about it here belies that.

Having been told for the entirety of my life that I am less than because I am a youthful looking female is taking a toll. I feel unable to have any sort of judgement concerning myself and what I produce beyond, "Am I happy with it? Did I learn something from this?" I've had too many people tell me my work is crap who don't know what they were talking about and I've had too many people tell me I was doing good work when I thought it was crap. I just don't know any more. I tend to say things like, "Well, I like it," and leave it at that.

[keelieinblack.livejournal.com]

The thread with the exchange about novel-length fics is here (http://ogi-ogas.livejournal.com/681.html?thread=3241#t3241), I think?

(Apparently ogi_ogas totally ignored the introductory info on fanfic that mecurtin gave them (http://mecurtin.livejournal.com/805503.html) a month ago, which clearly mentioned the range of fanfic lengths. Not that I'm surprised, at this point.)

[rm.livejournal.com]

That's the exchange! Thanks! Editing post now.

[gement.livejournal.com]

I think in Shaggirl's position I would have fallen for their spiel.

I like feeling helpful, I don't mind educating, and their first overture seemed a little clueless but sincere. She gave very nuanced answers that would have been a good informant starting point for researchers trying to actually do some real work. Including information that they totally ignored when constructing their survey: the widely variable length of fanfic, and repeated assertions that fandom is large, diverse, hard to categorize, contains fanfic only as a subset and erotica only as a subsubset, and already discusses itself in depth.

In case I am in danger for falling for such a thing again, where do you see the error in judgment so I can watch out for it?

[rm.livejournal.com]

It's an error in judgment I might have made too and it's not about biases but more human nature. Some people point it out in the comments too -- everyone likes to be flattered. Trusting strangers who flatter you in a field one is non-expert in beyond participation (i.e., she knows her part of fandom, but she doesn't know all of fandom and is not an academic) is generally a bad plan. There were more questions she should have asked, and just didn't know it. I do believe she acted in good-faith and tripped hard. I do appreciate her providing more transparency to what happened and the degree to which she is willing to own her role in it, even if she doesn't necessarily understand why and to what degree some people are as upset as they are. For a fail, I think she's doing okay. I think this is more a cautionary tale to us all (involving someone who contributes a lot to fandom) than a "evil in our midst" moment.

I am, however, no longer capable of believing that ogi_ogas acted in good faith, although I believe he might think he did, so inured is he to his own sense of power and privilege.

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

Maybe EJO would be happy to have turkey dinner at my house Monday - if he's working near here. SHEESH.

[gallo-de-pelea.livejournal.com]

Note to random people who don't get it: Not only is fandom smart, not only is fandom filled with scholars, not only is fandom full of people of all genders and orientations and worldviews who are very, very good at advocating for themselves, not only is fandom inclined to stick together in the face of asshattery from outside our community -- fandom is wrathful, and we make sure bad actions against us have consequences. And it's not because we're ashamed or bitter or fearful, but because we're proud and clever and everything people like [info]ogi_ogas think we're not.

This paragraph made me want to stand up and cheer. :D

[darthhellokitty.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much for the link to the international Turing petition.

As far as Edward James Olmos - god, I don't know why guests ever sign up for cons, when they get this kind of craziness if they have to cancel. Honestly, if it's between an acting job or signing a few autographs, who WOULDN'T choose the acting job?

[darthhellokitty.livejournal.com]

Can I have a link?

[brewsternorth.livejournal.com]

Me too. It reminded me of thingswithwings' comment that "fandom has teeth". Only better.

[brewsternorth.livejournal.com]

Which, the BBC News article or the ONTD_P one? Here's both:

BBC News article on Turing petition

ONTD_P article and discussion. TRIGGER WARNING for discussions of rape, and fairly graphic explanations of a rape incident as well.

[brewsternorth.livejournal.com]

Curiously enough, the Olmos article rather blended in with the story posted by ginmar in one critical respect - the common sense of thoughtless entitlement that led to a complete abandonment of empathy. Frustration is fine; making the actor the scapegoat is very definitely not.

[darthhellokitty.livejournal.com]

Thanks, it was the ONTD_P article. I don't seem to get triggered by things, whether I'm lucky or weird is open to debate.

God, what a GIGANTIC SINK OF LOSE that article is.

[gement.livejournal.com]

Got it. So something along the lines of "You invited this guy into the house without checking his ID." That makes sense. Never start showing someone around until you have a clear idea of why they're here. I can do that.

[darthhellokitty.livejournal.com]

You know what? Thoughtless entitlement leading to abandonment of empathy leads to people not getting "no", too. IT'S ALL ONE BIG UGLY THING. Some parts are way uglier than others, but they're all pretty ugly.

[imaginarycircus.livejournal.com]

I'm considering emailing their editor at Dutton because I highly doubt that they were given a contract to write a book about neuroscience and sex because they are two guys who speak English and like sex. They were given the contract because they are academics and neuroscientists.

[rm.livejournal.com]

There's been a sense in the discussions that I've seen that their editor either won't care or will be happy for the publicity a controversy like this can generate. I think there are too many potential legal issues for that to be the case (research, potentially conducted on minors, about their habits in relationship to sexuality and drugs), but I'm putting it out there as an FYI.

[chickenfried-jo.livejournal.com]

Thoughtless entitlement leading to abandonment of empathy leads to people not getting "no"

This is exactly why I don't go to fan or actor cons anymore.

In fact, that right there? Seems to be the key problem with a LOT of BS going down these days. Inside the fandom beltway and out.

[rm.livejournal.com]

I am feeling no small amount of trepidation about Dragon*Con for these reasons. Also crowds and I are not so good.

[imaginarycircus.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that makes sense. Editors really do love controversy because that equals sales. Unfortunately. Maybe BU will step in. I also wonder where they get their grants for research and if this will affect that at all.

I know scientists who have written books for laypeople, but the books have always been based on their research and not just something they threw together. The subject matter might be watered down for the average reader, sure.

[rm.livejournal.com]

Yup, ditto to all.