sundries

[rm]

Okay, I've have GOT to make our holiday cards this weekend. And I shall!

OM NOM NOM. Indian food awaits us tonight.

Cruise planning! Last night we narrowed down a lot of the short excursions and even made some final decisions, so I think Patty is booking those today. We still have other stuff to sort out, some of which we can just do on the damn boat. She's amazing at this stuff, I just get overwhelmed and confused. Things we're doing include a national park, seeing stingrays and boating to various secluded places. I think we're also going to see some big rocks and weird lizards, sail on a Siamese junk, and I'm crazy excited about just walking around Willemstad, which seems like a fascinating town and has the old synagogue in the Americas.

OMG, cruise clothing. I'm good with all the dressy stuff (white evening gown, black evening gown, red cocktail dress, tux, two suits & three dress shirts). And the semi dressy stuff (three Trashy Diva dresses and various slacks & dress shirts). And the bathing suits (two!). But you know what I fucking fail at? Casual clothes. Um.... like shorts. And a cover-up for the bathing suits. And sneakers. And I need to get on that. I feel really weird in shorts and I don't even know why. Patty's going to help, because mostly I'm like "I don't know how to do this!" I should also probably actually get an actual pair of jeans. And I really need to book the waxing appointment. I can't be bothered with hair removal most times these days, but if I'm going to wandering around in a bathing suit and heels on and off for ten days, I can damn well wax (not because it's my civic duty (because it's not), but because, hey, it really does make your legs look longer and more toned, who doesn't want that?)

Oh yeah, we have appropriately running water again in our place.

A tiny, tiny black kitty has joined the ranks of the garden kitties. He was being shown the food people leave for them by the grey garden kitty this morning. Really frigging cute.

These DARPA weather balloons could win you 40K USD.

Coming out in Hollywood. These articles appear every so often, and it's interesting to watch their evolution as they focus on just how disastrous it is or isn't for a given career. Contains the usual bullshit of "if everyone knows I"m gay, how will they believe me as straight" yadda yadda. But it's interesting, because the converse -- straight people playing gay characters, no one ever questions the believability of that. We just hear that it's all brave or heroic or whatever. And I think other than the obvious homophobia in that statement, there's a more interesting thing going on that points to the very nature of homophobia: as a culture we believe anyone could be gay! we are suspicious! and everyone is suspect! Interesting when we notice where the fear comes from.

Fun with Google Adsense: if you use the word "struggling" a lot in a post, you get ads for rehab centers. If you post porny fanfiction, you may get an ad for "EZLube" car maintenance chain. That's beautiful, is what that is.

Bristol said we would hopefully know "within the week" to folks who sent in abstracts on Monday. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh. I'm now guessing Sunday morning, since that's when I found out about something else academic in Britain that I submitted to once upon a time.

Speaking of Bristol, but unrelated to that issue or possible trip -- when Patty and I go to London in April, we're thinking of popping up to Ireland (probably Dublin, but not necessarily, but we have friends there and I've not been since 1995) for a few days. Anyone have any thoughts on the best/cheaptest/fastest way to do that as I know there are a number of options, none of which I know much about?

Remember that thing I posted the other day about Chase and NOM. Well keori remains on it, and Chase has already declared that NOM is inelligible for funds in their charity thing. The article also mentions the third party vendor that supplied the list. They may just be determining what's a charity based on 501(c)(3) designation, but if so, their system sort of blows. So the third party provider may be worth contacting. We really don't want NOM lurking on a widely distributed charity list.

Have we heard of the Bo-Tax? The idea is to help pay for healthcare reform through a 5% tax on cosmetic procedures. A lot of people think this sounds good. But some people think it penalizes women who are devalued by society if they look older than 30 (actually follow the link and discover that if you are over 25 and female, the fact that you want to fuck is yucky and weird in the heterosexual pop-culture landscape). Scarily, this may be one of those things where everyone's sort of right (except the people promulgating the puma, cheetah and cougar asshattery), even if we still can't get the difference between "need" and "want" through our heads as a nation.

Today I gave an old friends useful advice in email. Less useful advice was administered on LJ and contained the phrase "as long as we're avoiding marriages on the astral plane, we're probably good."

shadowravyn points us to Gives Me Hope which is random anonymous stories of people not sucking. Except: since anyone can post anything, it can have moments of being condescending/rage-inducing and as selasphorous points out in comments, can be particularly rife with ableism.

fabricdragon is keeping a list of Lj'ers who could use help from other LJ'ers. If you've got funds or resources to spare, please check there or the post I made earlier today.

Comments

[hughcasey.livejournal.com]

RE: Google AdSense:

When I posted last week about the response of various organized religions to D.C. voting over gay marriage, I got ads for joining the church and getting back to God for the next several days.

That rather amused this heretic quite a bit. LOL

[redstapler.livejournal.com]

Less useful advice was administered on LJ and contained the phrase "as long as we're avoiding marriages on the astral plane, we're probably good."

I disagree! Both in and out of context, that's good advice.

It certainly serves as a good "Am I fucking batshit?" yardstick.

[rm.livejournal.com]

Yeah. I actually use it internally sometimes, when I'm noodling about the Bristol paper, considering the stuff I'm looking at there (and relates to phenomena I've certainly participated in).

[airspaniel.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I found that incredibly helpful, actually. It's always good to have a litmus test.

[kproche.livejournal.com]

But you know what I fucking fail at? Casual clothes. Um.... like shorts. And a coverup for the bathing suits. And sneakers. And I need to get on that. I feel really weird in shorts and I don't even know why. Patty's going to help, because mostly I'm like "I don't know how to do this!" I should also probably actually get an actual pair of jeans.

When bovil and I went on our Caribbean cruise, I shopped for shorts at our first port of call (which was Key West) and bought two pair of cargo shorts. Practical and slightly longer than, say, walking shorts.

Or look at clam-diggers; short enough to do some wading, longer than shorts.

[rm.livejournal.com]

Yeah. I used to own a lot of capri-pants (which I think are the same thing, but prevent me from having to say "clam diggers"), so I'm tempted by that, but this whole thing where I'm like "aaaaaaaaaaargh shorts!" is just stupid. I think it's a NYC thing, 'cause we don't really wear shorts here.

Also, pockets are a good thing. Thanks.

[kproche.livejournal.com]

Capris are often a bit more body-hugging. I wanted more air on my skin on the cruise.

(And I didn't want to have sunscreen slathered on every inch of such air-exposed skin. bleargh. Plus the pockets)

[rm.livejournal.com]

Man, I am dreading all the sunscreen. On the other hand, I remember how burnt I got in Australia after just walking around for 30 minutes, so I'm going to be rather aggressive about all that.

[kproche.livejournal.com]

Oh, yeah. I wore sunscreen. But if I wasn't poolside, I was wearing it only where I had to. Managed to avoid getting scorched all week. I'm also a firm believer in the use of clothing as sunscreen. :-)

The worst burns on our cruise were some folk who booked a snorkeling excursion for the stop at Costa Maya. They hadn't read the instructions. The coral reefs there are a protected national park; everyone was required to shower before entering the water because sunscreen oils were harming the ecosystem. If they'd applied their sunscreen before leaving the boat, it would have set and the shower would have had no effect.

There were a bunch of lobsters that evening. :-)

[rm.livejournal.com]

Yeah, we have to go get the coral-safe sunscreen or whatever. And we've finally learned to make sure to put the sunsreen on under bathingsuit straps, seams, or else we get scorch lines where the fabric meets the skin (actually one of my suits is white, and I should probably just put sunscreen on under the whole thing).

[weirdquark]

I got myself some very lightweight cargo pants when I went to Italy a few years ago; they looked casual without being sloppy. They're the kind with straps and buttons so you can roll them up if you don't want to wear them as full-length pants. They were really comfortable and had great pockets.

Sadly, I've been having trouble finding replacements, so I don't know if they're still/back in style enough to show up in stores.

[kproche.livejournal.com]

Check travelsmith.com

[kproche.livejournal.com]

or these from Armani Exchange
Roll-up cargo pants

[weirdquark]

Woo, pockets! More than I want to spend on pants right now, but thanks for the links. Cargo pants with big pockets seem to be easier to find if you can wear men's pants. I want pockets! Big ones! I don't care about 'ruining the line of my hip' or whatever; I want to not have to carry around a purse.

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

I can't believe we're still discussing sexual orientation when it comes to actors. Like...uh, Rock Hudson was a pretty convincing straight heartthrob. Of course, he was in the closet, but... so? John Barrowman is out and women who aren't slash-minded adore him and a fair amount of straight guys think he's awesome. My husband does.

For Ireland, Ryanair has cheap flights. They're the no-frills SW Airlines of the region. :)http://www.ryanair.com/en

If you rent a car there, get a stick... the automatics are bizarrely expensive to rent, or they were when we've gone.

[rm.livejournal.com]

Ah, neither of us drive! Weird, right?

Isn't Ryanair the airline that wants to charge people to use the bathroom on their flights?

[luke-jaywalker.livejournal.com]

I think that that "charge people to use the bathroom" was just a joke on the CEO's part - "we've been making so many other services optional and for-a-fee..." They *are* damn cheap.

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I think so!

I've flown on Ryanair and enjoyed the nice, cheap feeling!

If you're going to Dublin, you don't need a car anyway... we went to a village where a friend lives and down to Kinsale and the Cliffs of Moher and islands. The car was a pain when it came to "who's going to drink?"

Well, actually, not a pain for me, since I can't drive manual transmission cars. HA HA HA.

[rm.livejournal.com]

Yeah, when I went in 1995, the person I was traveling with drove and we went all over the SE after a few days in Dublin, but this would be a pure city-trip I think.

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

It'll be nice!

The weather will probably not be good. But still, a great place. I love Ireland. :)

[rm.livejournal.com]

Last time I went it was November, so you know... April can only improve. It would only be a couple of days too, just something we're hoping to tack on but aren't sure we can.

[smirnoffmule.livejournal.com]

For Ireland, Ryanair has cheap flights.

This. I visit a friend in Dublin quite often (and she visits me) and Ryanair is our transport of choice. But I'd advise pre-booking as far in advance as you can, because otherwise they're significantly less cheap.

[meirion.livejournal.com]

Ryanair aren't always cheaper than Easyjet, particularly when you take into account the fact that Ryanair don't show you all the charges until you're well into the booking process, whereas Easyjet is more upfront about it.

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

Oh,, I forgot about Easyjet!

Don't think I'd used them personally. The connection spots didn't work for us or something.

[berry-k.livejournal.com]

Or Neil Patrick Harris: out, and totally convincing as the Awesome One on "How I Met Your Mother".

[rm.livejournal.com]

Yup! The piece mentions him. I think it's interesting too, because he's less traditionally masculine looking than America tends to require, and yet, he's the out actor who's had the least casting problems, I tend to think.

[redstapler.livejournal.com]

I don't want to say, "Well, he's a special case," because that's shitty to actors still in the closet, but...

(And please correct me if I'm wrong, but IIRC)

I believe he had his "cameo" in Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle immediately prior to when HIMYM started, and when he publicly came out.

So when he got that role, he was already in the recent collective unconscious as, essentially, who Barney Stinson is written to be.

I don't know if it was luck or design, but it worked extremely well for him.

[rm.livejournal.com]

Fair enough, I mean, I sort of skipped over that.... it was like Doogie Howser... and then now.

NOM

[rednwhiterose.livejournal.com]

Just a bit of randomness:

Every time you've mentioned NOM I mentally add 'nom nom' as in 'Nom Nom Nom'. Clearly, I need to stop reading my flist during my lunch break.

Re: NOM

[msp-hacker.livejournal.com]

I do that too. I don't even have to expend any brain power to mock them!

Re: NOM

[rednwhiterose.livejournal.com]

See, I wish I could say that I was doing that to mock them...really I was just hungry. I'm glad to know I wasn't the only one who saw the connection. :O)

[luke-jaywalker.livejournal.com]

Re: kitties: We need photos!

[rm.livejournal.com]

A really bad cellphone pic I took has been added (the shadow isn't me, but someone else who was looking at them too!)

[luke-jaywalker.livejournal.com]

Awww. Kitty apprentice!

[eumelia.livejournal.com]

I used Aer Lingus (http://www.aerlingus.com/cgi-bin/obel01im1/bookonline/index.jsp) three years ago from England to Ireland, very cheap - you gotta pay for stuff on the plane, but it's only an hour or so flight.

Re: Gay Actors: Beyond the homophobia inherent in the statement, it's just boring. Especially because it's the same people over and over again and the story comes up again when someone "new" comes out, like Baxter.
I'm glad when more gays come out in high visibility occupations, but more often than not the discourse is that of "big revelation" as though something was hidden from us before.
As though Jodie Foster hid something from us before she said the Words.
I dunno.
It irritates me.

[luke-jaywalker.livejournal.com]

Gay actors: I suppose it saves me a lot of bother by simply not *caring* what these people do off-screen. Like sports people and musicians... I care about what they do in front of a camera/on the field/behind a mike. Whether they're gay, straight or asexual doesn't affect any of that, so far as I can tell.

[genmaicha.livejournal.com]

Just as a warning, Gives Me Hope is occasionally rife with ableism. It's often in that more sinister condescending way, especially in cases involving persons with cognitive or developmental disabilities. Their personhood is often devalued in the relation of the story. Bringing it up to raise awareness of ableist speech and attitudes often gets a commenter shot down by others saying that criticism is against the spirit of the site.

I found a lot of very uplifting stories there, but the ableism does get very choking.

[rm.livejournal.com]

I found a couple of things there that were really condescending towards homeless people too, so I'm hardly surprised; anything where anyone can post anything is going to be kinda sucky on the Internet. Thanks for the heads up.

[dichroic.livejournal.com]

LJ's been pretty amazing in helping people who need it, but I was just wondering if some of those people have also tried the Modest Needs Foundation - that sort of short-term help is pretty much its raison d'etre.

(And then after wondering I went and donated to MN before posting this so I wouldn't be a damned hypocrite.)

[rm.livejournal.com]

Not sure. Modest Needs is great, I forgot about them.

(Once all this excitement dies down, I'm going to ask epopel to link me to their lesser-known/local charities of choice for one big post, but people I know keep winding up in really fucked circumstances).

[kessie.livejournal.com]

As others have said, flights with Ryanair or Aer Lingus would be the easiest way to get across from London. (But if you choose Ryanair, definitely book ahead as much as possible. Their cheap flights ain't so cheap anymore.) Aer Lingus are significantly better to fly with, but not as cheap.

[lefaym.livejournal.com]

Have we heard of the Bo-Tax? The idea is to help pay for healthcare reform through a 5% tax on cosmetic procedures. A lot of people think this sounds good. But some people think it penalizes women who are devalued by society if they look older than 30 (actually follow the link and discover that if you are over 25 and female, the fact that you want to fuck is yucky and weird in the heterosexual pop-culture landscape). Scarily, this may be one of those things where everyone's sort of right (except the people promulgating the puma, cheetah and cougar asshattery), even if we still can't get the difference between "need" and "want" through our heads as a nation.

My first thought on this is that it's all about making women -- who still earn far less than men -- pay for healthcare reform, so that men don't need to feel like their precious tax-payer dollars are going towards helping sick people get better. With the added bonus of punishing women who depend on the heteronormative patriarchal system to get by.

[rm.livejournal.com]

Seriously, if I hear one more Republican say "everyone should be getting equal healthcare and therefore women have no right to demand care for their femaleness," I'm going to smack someone. Also, I am not a disease.

Because in my social & professional circle and my city cosmetic procedures are used pretty significantly by men, the way the Bo-tax thing screws women didn't occur to me at first, but increasingly, I think you're right.

[lefaym.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it's astounding (but not really) how many people think the default human body=able-bodied male, and everyone else somehow falls into the "special treatment" category. I can't see the logic in it -- well, except that it's really all about maintaining structures of privilege, in which case it makes perfect sense. :/

I'm curious, do women have to pay more for cosmetic procedures than men, like we do for female-gendered clothes and haircuts?

[rm.livejournal.com]

The haircut price differential by gender is illegal in NYC (it can be by length), and I report places on it ALL THE TIME. As far as I know, botox runs the same and hair removal costs more for men because it's more time consuming or requires more treatment (and male bodyhair removal is very big here). Other stuff, I've no idea, as my knowledge stops at lasers and injectables.

[1-mad-squirrel.livejournal.com]

A lot of people think this sounds good. But some people think it penalizes women who are devalued by society if they look older than 30

It would also penalize MTF transexuals, many of whom have plastic surgery in the course of their transition.

[kireishojo.livejournal.com]

and don't forget the cancer survivors. if you had to get your boob lopped off for your health and didnt feel comfortable going amazon wouldnt it be nice to not be charged extra to get a fake replacement?