Little Kitty 1995 - 2009

[rm]

Little Kitty's real name was Shiyung. I'm not sure she knew that. I named her after one of the three sisters of the ruling Orsinate in Aestival Tide, which is Elizabeth Hand's sort of sequel to Winterlong. It's out of print, and it is fucked up.

Anyway, Little wasn't very good at being a cat. She played fetch when she was younger and liked to stand in the shower with me and never learned how to meow properly, making a sort of one syllable grunting noise that usually meant "I'm really enjoying biting this roll of duct tape/box of tampons/book."

I got her 14 years ago to the day. She and her sister-cat (who is not her sister), who had just had their shots and were sleepy and pissed. Little immediately became "the cat" while Pretty Kitty became "the other cat" mainly because Pretty hid all the time.

Some of you first met her at a New Year's party I had a few days later. If you were there, you'll remember that some drunk idiot tried to steal her.

Little was there for the aftermath of Greg, for Michael (whom she was excessively fond of and whose voice she still could recognize on the phone last time I spoke to him in her presence, years after she'd last seen him), and for all sorts of other crap too.

She was there when I was rich, when I was poor, when I had an abortion and when I worked in the sex industry. She was there for the dot.com bullshit, for dreams of Baz Luhrmann (when I went to Australia, my roommate would email to say "the cats think I have eaten you"), and for a stupid fire below our Avenue C apartment where she got drunk on the smoke and staggered around for a few hours after. "Don't worry," the firefighters said, "cats'll survive anything."

And she did. She always had weird medical problems the cause of which was never found. There was the uterine infection and the liver thing (prior to this liver thing just now). She puked a lot. She was messy. Her fur was so thick it turned into little clumps that I swear she should shoot off her body at people at will. She had such massive whiskers I always thought she looked like a sea-creature.

She adored Patty, and drove us crazy in the process, always worming her massive bulk between us on the couch, or trying to by standing on our ovaries first or something. Patty was amazing with her, and I'd laugh and laugh at grooming hilarity, when Patty would use the cat rake on her and the clouds of hair would spin around her like some sort of horrible cat-induced Wizard of Oz thing.

Whenever I was sick, you know, which is often, Little always tried to help by standing on my stomach; my celiac disease does not thank her. When I was sad or scared, I would nap with my head on Little's giant belly. She'd usually let me do it for twenty to thirty minutes at a time.

She was an awesome cat, even if she was stupid (and inventively so), grouchy and too fat to effectively clean herself. She owned every house she was ever in, and loved every person I ever had, just, it seems, on my say so. She was enthusiastic and smug.

She loved broccoli.

Like, a lot. I remember once letting her eat some when Kali was over, and I'll never understand how a cat managed to eat plain broccoli one minute and vomit up acres of cream sauce the next, but Megan was there too and we all saw it happen. It was the most disgusting thing ever and we were all laughing so hard.

Patty and I talk about how Little thunders across the plains of our apartment. Really. She galumphed, and sat on this scratcher we got her which we called her double-wide. If this cat had been human it would have loved Southern food and Elvis, which isn't all that much different from what she did as a cat.

Little could have told you my whole life story. What I look like in the mornings and all the people I ever pretended to be -- it's more than you know. She can't, and I'm sad, and I miss her, but man... dodged that bullet, yeah?

They loved her at the vet, and everyone was crying with me. They were rooting for her and thought she was hilarious.

This is about all I can do right now. I'm leaving comments on but am not having them emailed to me, because I'm not sure to what degree I can process your sympathy.

She was the best of beasties, and if kitty heaven lives up to cliches as advertised, she was so huge they may be having trouble keeping the thing airborne right now.

Comments

[guruwench.livejournal.com]

I am so sorry. I remember how hard it was for me when I lost Kittiness earlier this year, and you and Patty have my deepest sympathies.

[podle.livejournal.com]

I am very sorry for your loss. You've painted a loving, beautiful and hilarious portrait of her here. She sounds like the best of beasties.

[copperwise.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry. It's so hard when we lose our friends.

[dr-is-in.livejournal.com]

**massive hugs** This year just isn't giving up on crap things happening, is it? I miss my cats I had to give away when we moved back to NY, but I can't imagine the grief you're going through with the loss of a companion of so many years.

[hyrkanian.livejournal.com]

:(

RIP Little.

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

We lost our diva kitty this year, shortly after bringing Xander home.

She was Jim's first pet ever - of any kind - and yeah, cancer got her, the rat fucker.

If ever I started crying - I'd never stop. Swear.

And I am so sorry.

[shipchan.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry. She was such a nice cat.

[frackattack.livejournal.com]

*cries and hugs* I'm so sorry for your loss. :(

[catherineldf.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry. Sending sympathetic virtual hugs. :-(((

[burnishedvictory]

*hugs* She sounds like she was a great cat. I'm so sorry for your loss.

[lovefromgirl.livejournal.com]

May she know peace where she has gone, and may your grief heal in time, as all grief does.

My Ruby will be watching for her arrival.

[tree00faery.livejournal.com]

This was lovely and lovingly written. I'm quite sure she knew how much you love her.

[meirion.livejournal.com]

So sorry for your loss. She sounds like she was a wonderful, if somewhat insane, friend. But then, most cats are.

[98.livejournal.com]

Sympathy for the kitty-shaped hole punched in your life.

[darkrosetiger.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry *hugs*

[ravenskye8.livejournal.com]

May her memory be for a blessing.

*hugs*

[ophymirage.livejournal.com]

oh honey. trying to not cry at work. what a beautiful eulogy for your baby.

I've had my ten-year-old 'daughter' since she was six weeks to-the-day, a tiny ball of grey fluff with tail kinked so badly it folded in half. I wasn't sure I wanted her at the time, and yet, in all that time, I think we've spent a total of one month apart. She is to me what Little was to you.

I know that it's coming, that my time with her ahead is shorter than what's behind.

Hugs, from both of us, and I am so, so sorry for Little's loss.

[bunnybutt.livejournal.com]

What a beautiful eulogy. It sounds like you loved each other well. Huge empathy for your loss today.

[count-to-seven.livejournal.com]

Thinking of you.

[tod-hollykim.livejournal.com]

Ah, hon. I'm sorry. Little sounds like a wonderful kitty. Even though I've never met her, I'll miss her.

::hugs:: R. You'll read this when you're ready. But Little will continue to watch over you and Patty. Don't be surprise if you still see her walking around the apartment. My folks' cat Bruce was still wandering around my folks' house after he passed. Both my former sis-in-law and I saw him. Don't know if my stepdad ever did. But then he was the kind that wouldn't say even if he had.

[genmaicha.livejournal.com]

Our lives are better for the lives that are with them.

Ave atque vale.

[kaffy_r]

Would that all cats had remembrances as eloquent and loving as this. May all your memories of her enrich your life.

[annablume.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[eac.livejournal.com]

RM, I'm so sorry.

[glinda-w.livejournal.com]

I am so sorry. It's always hard, but when it's a cat who's been with you through more things than any human has... there aren't words for the hole that leaves in your life.