![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sundries
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif){kind=small}
ellen_kushner has announced The Man with the Knives. This is SUPERCOOL and I actually have a great deal to say about it, but cannot, in fact, until you all have read the story (which us lucky folks at the NYRSF reading back in December got to hear).bodlon, go look at Gally schedule 4.1. You've just been bumped onto the "Second Stage". Happy fucking Birthday to you.sparkindarkness writes about the NHS paying for ex-gay therapy. nancylebov links us to an article about a happy, out gay man who underwent "conversion therapy" as part of a journalistic exercise. And it fucked with his head. In the mid-90s I briefly entered therapy in the hopes of getting some tools to deal with the particularly horrific tenor of my relationship with my parents at the time. As a matter of random background context for my existence (unrelated to my parents) in a "who are the people I may mention during sessions," I mentioned my bisexuality (my preferred label at the time, which I know find to be not as comprehensive as it could be). And, in case you missed it my sexuality has never been a particular source of stress to me in terms of my own self-worth.
Anyway... the therapist suddenly launched into explaining to me that I was bisexual (and pagan) merely because I was trying to reclaim the love of both my mother and father... blah blah blah blah blah.
I sort of brushed it off, because it was so never going to come up again (the parental drama was about other things entirely), but here's the deal: nearly 15 years later, I don't remember the therapists name, anything he said related to why I was there, or in fact ANYTHING, other than him saying this.
I am a happy, out, queer person who believes both that I am hard-wired to be queer and that I choose this life (I refuse the strict adherence to the genetic only argument as a defense against bigots) because it is a better, more interesting one for me. And I was a happy, out, queer person with that same outlook in 1996.
But sometimes I still wonder, because of this one guy and his off-hand remark, if I just make other people uncomfortable because, to be flip, my parents never loved me enough (they love me a great deal, just not in ways I always get).
Get it?
no subject
no subject
And the latter pretty much sums up why I an very very very adverse to any kind of therapy. Because far too many are going to use it as an excuse to abuse me for my sexuality - and I don't think that trust has been rebuilt yet
no subject
no subject
no subject
I like to think that I did.
no subject
no subject
My shrink took it to hear and was very positive as during my time in therapy I was involved with more than one gender.
Regardless, therapy is far too easily abused and "conversion" therapy freaks me the fuck out! And that article in the Independent was just boggling - prayers, birth trauma, Freemasonry?!?!
In the words of Eddie Izzard: Quoi?!
no subject
no subject
One of Cordelia's trashy friends dressing like a geisha? That made character sense to me. Cordelia being horrible to her exchange student? That made sense to me. But some of the other stuff.... way less so.
no subject
no subject
And in the 90s nobody thought twice about gypped.
no subject
It's weird to me that the 90s were so, so, so much more fucked up than now. It doesn't seem that long ago. But then again, people thought DADT made sense in the 90s too I guess.
no subject
no subject
Look at the difference between 1960 and 1980. In 1960, girls couldn't wear pants to school. Sex roles were rigidly codified. Women's money and credit was still dependent on her husband. By 1980, none of that was true.
DADT was a significant improvement over having to commit a federal offense (lying on the forms was worth 5 years in prison) to serve one's country.
People were not as sensitive in the 90s. There was white. There was black. As long as you didn't use the n-word, you weren't a racist. Asians were on the west coast and gays were in cities. They weren't a part of most people's everyday life. And white ethnics, like Romany, were just white.
no subject
no subject
I can't tell you how annoying it was to be like "actually, studies show that there's a high incidence of BDSM tendencies amongst those who had highly medicalized childhoods, so please stop telling me I was sexually abused, since that's not actually on the list of crap I have to contend with."
no subject
Good gravy, I can't tell you how relieved I was when I read about those studies.
It was a giant "Ah-ha" moment for me.
no subject
I love that and will be using it often, I think. Highly medicalized: seven surgeries before the age of four, three more before 14, and half my life spent in waiting rooms.
no subject
Do you happen to have links to any of those studies? I would love to have them on hand!
no subject
WHAT. THE. FUCK.
And the fact that they're teaching young men to beat the shit out of stuff as a way of promoting patriarchy is just icing on the failcake.
no subject
The whole MMA/Evangelical/Doin' for the Lord vibe is incredibly creepy. The appropriation of culture is enough to give pause but this...no.
no subject
no subject
* Yes, both literally and tonally.
no subject
no subject
no subject
As witness we have the good Rev Haggard who apparently had been cured of his 'gayness' by three weeks of therapy. Good luck with that.
http://www.denverpost.com/ci_5164921. Personally, I'm waiting for his head to explode from the cognitive dissonance he must be experiencing.
no subject
http://www.alan.com/2010/02/02/american-family-association-radio-host-says-imprison-gays/
ETA: better link: http://joemygod.blogspot.com/2010/01/american-family-association-radio-host.html
I'm feeling rather irratable today. I can't imagine why.
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
Also, you're the only person I know who's going through the episodes around the same time as me, so I'm gonna squee a lot at you. Until you pass me, at which point I'll pout.
~Sor
no subject
You'd think this wouldn't be that much of an issue until there is a federal ruling about same-sex marriages, possibly. But. What if someone marries his or her partner in a country where it's legal? The military needs a fair policy on this to ensure partners have the same benefits I do.
no subject
no subject
no subject
They're just never going to promote "if you meet Christ on the road, kill him" as a related concept.
no subject
no subject
no subject
The "conversion therapy" thing is just depressing.
no subject
Good luck with the headshots!
no subject
no subject
This has some interesting things about formerly accepted conversion therapy, and how it made some folks heads less than stable.
The part that spooked me was the hypnosis and repeating of mantra about no longer wanting to be homosexual.
The scene that really made me take notice was when a man undergoes a submissive session, then after all is said and done he places money on the table - one coin for each of the three women who domed him. They stood with their backs to him and as each coin was placed on the table one would courtesy ... except for the last one, who refused.
no subject