sundries - help fund a liver transplant, assist a commuter cat, and argue about stories

[rm]

Deb Mensinger needs a new liver, because hers has been destroyed by a genetic form of porphyria. The hope is that Deb's brother will be able to be the live donor (livers are awesome that way). However, Deb's brother lives on the opposite coast and is uninsured, which means there are a lot of expenses involved in all of this that Deb's insurance won't pick up.

So a fandom auction is stepping in to help Deb, her wife (Laurie J. Marks, author of the Elemental Logic series, the Children of the Triad series, The Watcher's Mask, and Dancing Jack, and guest of honor at WisCon 31) and her brother. The auction will open for bidding on May 1, but right now we need people to offer things to bid on! Please visit debsliverlovers to offer items to bid on, and please help spread the word. Thank you!

deza has recently moved from Atlanta to eastern North Carolina. Her cat, Jack, is currently in foster care in the Atlanta area and she has medical issues that prevents her from going to retrieve the little guy herself. If you can possibly help with cat transport, please contact her.

I am vaguely toying with doing a week-long food diary here. Enough people ask me what the hell I eat being gluten-free and also make assumptions about the nature of my food habits due to my weight, that I thought it might be interesting. Is it interesting?

The pay gaps of NYC. More money out of the gate for men, while, as usual, women get less.

Do men get paid more than women because women lack Machiavellian aggressiveness? Did the person who wrote this blurb ever spend time at an all-girls school? I got your Machiavellian aggressiveness right here.

A week ago a day laborer who often had no roof over his head was stabbed to death in NYC. Surveillance video reveals that this happened after he came to the aid of a woman who was being confronted by an angry man. The video also reveals that numerous people walked right by him as he was dying, including one person who paused to take a photo with their mobile.

I just want to say a few things about Buffy, my tirade last night and various ways in which we respond to media and how we respond to people responding to media.

First and foremost, it's okay to like people, places and things that make mistakes. I find some episodes of Buffy really, really sexist; I also still like the show. If nothing else, it gave more work to female actors than most primetime television shows and its sexism, when in evidence, comes from a different place and created, and continues to create, a really different conversation. The show also contains racefail and a lot of queer moments that bug me specifically because the tenor of them is so ten years ago. I can see all of this, and be made angry by all of this, and talk about all of this, and challenge all of this, and still like the show.

Secondly, I get that I wasn't there at the time, and that it was the dawn of Internet fandom and that the Buffy creative team was ridiculously accessible. But I've never met Joss Whedon, and so I'm not, unlike most of fandom, on a first name basis with him. I'm also discomforted by the idea that he can do no wrong. All storytellers fall down somewhere for someone. That's the nature of stories. They exist in the cracks. That's okay too.

Thirdly, as another LJ'er rightly pointed out re: my Buffy rage, and as I've often said about certain things that transpired in Torchwood: Children of Earth, writers are not (necessarily) their characters. That said, sometimes the realism of sexism, racism and homophobia reads clearly as "character saying something uncool because of character's personal attitudes" and sometimes it doesn't. I can criticize what appears to be a show or episode's agenda in this fashion without being confused on that writer/character point. This gets back to stories and how successful they are. It's worth noting that I am actually on effectively different sides of this argument re: Buffy than I am re: Children of Earth and my opinions in both cases are legitimate in that they are a) my feelings and b) come from an informed pop-culture place. Other people's opinions, which may be in direct opposition, are also legitimate for those same reasons.

It's okay for stories to make us angry.

Meanwhile, redstapler has just alerted me to this particular use of V for Vendetta to which I must say no. No no no no no no no.

In case you haven't read it, this is part of Valerie's letter, which is a critical, central element in both the film and the original graphic novel.

"After the takeover, they started rounding up the gays. They took Ruth while she was out looking for food. Why are they so frightened of us? They burned her face withcigarettes and made her give them my name. She signed a statement saying I'd seduced her. I didn't blame her. God, I loved her but I didn't blame her.

But she did. She killed herself in her cell. She couldn't live with betraying me, with giving up that last inch. Oh, Ruth.

They came for me. They shaved off my hair. They held my head down a toilet and told lesbian jokes. They brought me here and pumped me full of chemicals. I can't feel my tongue. I can't speak. It is strange that my life should end in such a terrible place but for three years I had roses and apologized to nobody.

I shall die here. Every inch of me shall perish... Except one. An inch. It is small and fragile and it's the only thing in the world that's worth having. We must never lose it or sell it or give it away. We must never let them take it from us.

I don't know who you are but I hope you escape this place. I hope that the world turns and things get better and that one day people have roses again.

I don't know who you are but I love you. I love you. Valerie."

I first read V for Vendetta when I was 17. It remains, fundamentally, one of the only relatively mainstream pop-culture stories that includes queer women in a way that doesn't involve soft focus lighting and the suggestion that we don't really fuck or fight.

So this is me, being unable to articulate my rage. I'm used to people taking my rights. My stories though? How dare you?

Finally, the best quote about the financial crisis EVER. Congressman Barney Frank on the decision-making process regarding capital set-asides at AIG: "They thought they were selling life insurance to vampires, and then the vampires died." That's begging to be a story, isn't it? It makes me feel sad.

Comments

[5251962.livejournal.com]

That day laborer story made me seriously angry. I cannot even begin to fathom how you'd just walk on by like that, but, to take a cell picture and walk on by? My god, society. :(

[imaginarycircus.livejournal.com]

"That's the nature of stories. They exist in the cracks."

I love that. They also have to have cracks or holes so the viewer/reader can enter in and exist in that world.

[andrewducker]

I think you're absolutely right. I mean, the internet pedant part of me wants to say "Of course they're 'so ten years ago, it was ten years ago' - but that's not going to stop it making you angry _now_. The vast majority of people's opinions throughout the vast majority of history make me angry, after all, and while I don't largely hold it against people that they were brought up in racist/sexist environments, I still feel angry that those situations existed.

[tod-hollykim.livejournal.com]

The same for me. I just can't put words together coherently to express my...outrage at that.

[5251962.livejournal.com]

I watched the video and just couldn't believe it- then I read all the excuses they gave..you know, maybe I am kinda a naive person, but even IF it was just someone drunk laying there, I'd help. I don't know how you can see someone laying on the ground and not feel some compulsion to at least make sure they're okay. :(

[deza.livejournal.com]

Thank you for the signal boost!

There are a lot of people who look at me sideways when my daughter starts quoting bits of Buffy. I still maintain it's one of the best young female role models available in contemporary media, precisely because the show addresses so many issues faced by kids on a regular basis. I like that not only do the characters make (and learn from) mistakes, but so do the writers.

[sykii.livejournal.com]

All storytellers fall down somewhere for someone.

Even Homer nods.

[tod-hollykim.livejournal.com]

People are just like that. They judge on what they think they see.

Over...20 years ago (damn it was *that* long ago?) I was diagnosed with asthma. In the few months leading up to that, I often had breathing problems. Some of the problems then and now is walking up stairs, hills, and ramps.

At the time, I lived on Seaman Ave. and 204th St. Waaaaay uptown. One night I was going from the Times Square station to the 8th Ave line to get the A. There ist hat stupid ramp just after the 7 platform to get up to the 8th Ave. trains. It's a long slope and I was having enough of a problem that I had to stop to get my breathe every so often. At one point I was just standing there, on the ramp, with my eyes closed and slowing my breathing. Aa group of young people (maybe a bit older than teenagers, maybe early 20's) came by. I heard one of them just say "Drunk!"

But at the same time, I've had people ask after me while I was grabbing for my inhaler or stopping to get my breath. So there are good people out there. Just not everyone.

[redstapler.livejournal.com]

I passed deza's link to a friend in Charlotte who may be able to help, or might know someone who can.

[5251962.livejournal.com]

When I lived in Boston, we had this old lady at the Malden stop that freaked everyone out. She would rant and rave and most people just walked on by. Well, I'd give her a little of whatever I had on me, be that change or food or whatever, because well, I had it, I didn't need it- she did. I had I don't know how many people tell me that she'd end up at my house, or warning me she'd spend the money on booze. (I didn't care if she did, to be honest. I don't like the idea of funding an addiction but way I see it, it's not my money, it never was my money and however it is spent is really not the point. I understand addictions having battled them myself- and really? I'd rather give and have her be safe and boozey. That probably sounds messed up but I don't care.)

Anyway. One night, I was on the t, and I noticed she had followed me. I started to get a little scared. Right up until the man I *hadn't* seen tried to pin me to a building after I got off my stop and she wailed on him.

I was pretty young when that happened, and I am not saying I help people because they may one day help me- but the thing is, my own judgment call..well, look what that got me. I missed the real predator.

[tod-hollykim.livejournal.com]

She had probably spotted your attacker and thought he didn't look right. So she followed you to make sure you were safe. Good thing she did.

[5251962.livejournal.com]

I always thought that- that and, it occurred to me, she got fare. It may have been my change. It all ties together in a kinda nifty way- but you know, from then on out I couldn't stop thinking, maybe had I not been paying attention to her and all squicked, I would have noticed him, too. It was a good illustration of for me, how judgment calls can be VERY wrong. The guy? Nice suit, perfectly "stand up" looking guy.

[ladypeculiar.livejournal.com]

1) Liver-- is there just a want to paypal?

2) Stabbing . . . Awful. Just awful.

3) Joss. Yeah, he makes me furious. A lot. And I'm the same boat in that I really enjoyed the show (and really enjoyed Firefly and Dr. Horrible), but he's got issues I think with women (and men moreso that women), and tends to flaunt his Women's Studies degree as a reason for why he should be exempt from criticism in this area.

At least the issues that he bring up make me angry in a way that's somewhat complex, and one might be able to give him the benefit of the doubt in saying that perhaps that was the intended response? Though since so many of the same issues are presented over and over . . . it tends to be more tiresome than thought-provoking.

On balance though, I still like his work.

[rm.livejournal.com]

Here, this is more useful:

Make your donation to WomanEarthandSpirit AT gmail DOT com via Paypal and PLEASE mark it "For Deb Mensinger" (or "For Deb's Liver" or any similar identifier) in the message box. Woman, Earth & Spirit is a nonprofit organization that works to expand possibilities for women and lesbians, and also sponsors Outland, Maize: A Lesbian Country Magazine, and the New Mexico Women's Guest House, Retreat & Healing Center. They have kindly agreed to umbrella the donations to help us avoid difficulties in handling the monies. Since they are a 501c3 nonprofit corporation organization, your donations will be tax deductible as well. Woman, Earth & Spirit will transfer the money to Laurie and Deb after the auction is closed and a majority of donations have been collected.

[thatwordgrrl.livejournal.com]

I went to two different women's colleges.

One was part of a five-campus system, so we had constant interaction with male students.

The other was surrounded by barbed wire in the middle of the nastiest part of Oakland.

Guess which one I fled screaming into the night from?

You get a bunch of college-age women together and isolate them long enough and it makes Lord of the Flies look like a nursery rhyme by comparison.

[schpahky.livejournal.com]

Yes food diary. I love food diaries.

[5251962.livejournal.com]

My husband wrote about this for a class project and actually had people assuming he's a small town jerk with no idea how it "really is". He grew up near Austin, Texas. I have had a couple people tell me I can't understand, and one, I'm mentally ill and have been homeless- and two, I lived in Boston for a while. What my problem is, is this- why do you have to have grown up in a big city to "get" how to express human decency?

As to your story- oh my god. Just. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGG. I also think the jaded EMT thing is ridiculous. You get paid to do a job, you do it, it doesn't matter if they are 'regulars' or whatever. Just do what you're trained and paid to do. I get that in some cases this is seen as detrimental to the "real" cases, but the thing is, they can cram you into a waiting room for hours on end, for so called "real" problems, so what difference does it make, really?

[rm.livejournal.com]

I should have started yesterday as we had the Best Dinner Ever.

[eumelia.livejournal.com]

That stabbing story just made me weep.

Re: Joss, I recall being alone in some very nasty debates regarding Buffy in which I said, that yes it's ground breaking and I love it, but it's very normative in it's values and ethics. It doesn't really stray away from the notion of Good and Evil being sublime to humanity - yes, here and there, but not by much and certainly not thematically, imo. I hated Xander. Always have and possibly always will (I haven't read the comics, but I plan to) and I always felt that the characters (and narrative) judged Buffy so harshly I was going insane. Season 6 fixed that for me in certain ways, but still...
I get your anger. It's a good anger. Stories should move us and not coddle us.

As for V for Vendetta. We've spoken about what that story means to us. I've discussed how much the book affected me and how much I thought the movie was an interesting take though different focus to the story.
I gasped is horror at that story you linked.
Valerie's story kept me alive during a bad time.

Fuck that shit! God damnit!

[redstapler.livejournal.com]

Seconded!

[manycolored.livejournal.com]

A culture where a story can't be used in a way its author and the majority of its fans abhor is a culture that becomes rigid and stagnant. There could be no parody and derivative works would be crippled.

You can only fight back with more and better stories, more and better uses of the stories that are out there, with a stronger and more vibrant fan community. I have no doubt that we are well equipped to fight back in this way!

[rm.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'm not saying "it's not allowed" I'm just sort of like "gdjakgjadfklgjladff!" and "did no one tell them about the lesbians?"

[manycolored.livejournal.com]

Ack, I really wish they were as tactically stupid as that little gaffe would suggest.

[rm.livejournal.com]

I know! They lure us into hope and complacency, they do.

[solitary-summer.livejournal.com]

I hated Xander. Always have and possibly always will (I haven't read the comics, but I plan to) and I always felt that the characters (and narrative) judged Buffy so harshly I was going insane.

I agree completely. I'll never understand why Xander gets so much love from fandom. There are maybe a couple of moments where I like him, but they don't make up for his usual judgementalness. As for the characters/narrative (often enough through Xander) judging Buffy, It's been a while since I've watched the show, but I specifically remember the beginning of S3 making me so angry. There's having to stay connected, with friends, with humanity in general, but she's a teenage girl with a huge burden and responsibility, who had to make this terrible decision after living through some rather traumatising experiences, so IMO she absolutely did not deserve this kind of treatment. Or Xander's reaction about her breaking up with Riley. In all seriousness, the endless moralising of this show drove me crazy sometimes.