The first time I met Maria, she hid under the table....

[rm]

The first time I met theotoky, who I originally knew from online, we had lunch in cafe in Union Square. Towards the end of the meal her cellphone rang, and as she answered it I watched her shrink and cringe away from me and everyone until she was half hiding under the table at the cafe we were at.

The caller was her then husband. "He just worries about me," she said.

A year later she called me at work and asked if we could meet for lunch. We sat in an Au Bon Pain in midtown as she told me her husband was abusive -- verbally, physically and sexually. She'd been working full-time to pay for him to get his degree and well, you get the idea. She wanted to leave. She was afraid he'd kill her cats. We made a plan, and Maria and the cats got out, although among other things she had to declare bankruptcy along the way. This was well over a decade ago.

Since then, Maria's moved across the continent and back, and we've kept in touch through all of it -- a second husband, step-kids, a dramatic European lover. Today she's happily single and living near where she grew up. She's returned to her dancing and singing and guitar playing, and she's finally reentered school to get the degree she couldn't when she was supporting the abuser.

Maria's studying Ontology as a core discipline of Informatics. It’s kinda like Philosophy and Computer Science got together and had a baby (more info here: http://ontology.buffalo.edu/smith/articles/ontologies.htm). Right now she has a GPA of 4.0 in her major and 3.92 overall and only has one more semester of coursework to get her BA in Philosophy (with concentration on Ontology). Afterwards, she plans to work in Media Informatics as a researcher and consultant in Toronto.

Here's the thing, though. Until recently Maria was being given low interest loans by her partner in a relationship that has recently amicably ended. But Maria is still paying those loans back, can't afford her last semester on her own and can't get student loans because of that previously mention bankruptcy (note: there may be a lead on this now, but we're not counting on this happening, and I'd like Maria to get a little extra good in the world for a change).

It costs approximately $5000 for her last semester (breakdown: $296.51 per credit hour, $1200 health insurance fee, and money for books, transportation and misc. fees). She's already working full time in a chiropractor’s office and part time as a guitar teacher to pay her living expenses.

I have known Maria for most of my adult life. We've supported each other through a lot of shit and she is, on some level, one of those who got away -- not just because I had a crush on her when we first met, but because she's always been too far away for us to quite be the friends we should have been. That doesn't mean, however, that I wouldn't do anything for her, because Maria's one of two women who taught me that through small acts of problem solving any of us can, in fact, change the world.

I want Maria to graduate because she's earned it, and if I had the cash lying around for her tuition, I'd give it, free and clear.

But I don't. What I do have is you guys, and the Internet.

So with Maria's permission I'm launching graduate_maria. From now until 7/15 you can post items to bid on (bidding itself will run from 7/15 - 7/30). Fanfiction, books, art, crafts, tutoring -- whatever you can think of. Auction winners will send the amount for the item won to Maria's paypal (mariatheo74@gmail.com) and send proof of it to the offerer, and then get their cool item. You all know how this works! Please make sure to mark any donations as a gift in Paypal. Everything from good wishes to signal boosts to leads on scholarships to donations are deeply appreciated.

Maria is also committed to being transparent in this. If you need to see scans of her tuition bills or enrollment or whatever, she's game, although I do ask that you filter such requests through me -- because Maria has experienced violence, I also want to help keep her safe. When I asked her how much of her story I could tell to get this done she said "do whatever you have to."

So here it is. Maria's been on this road for over a decade. Help her graduate.

Thank you.

- rm

P.S. If by some miracle more than $5,000 is raised Maria would like, with the permission of those donating, to give any extra funds to the Ten Lives Club. They helped save her beloved cat Henry back in 2006/2007. Henry was instrumental to Maria getting away from her abuser and getting the life she wanted.

Comments

[bizetsy.livejournal.com]

This is a fantastic idea. Thank you for being a positive inspiration to so many.

[rm.livejournal.com]

And thank you!

[longlostnite.livejournal.com]

Okay, you made me cry and laugh and knowing what she's gone through (and me for that matter), if I can offer to write a piece of fan fiction that will help get her graduated, I will. Just let me know what I need to do.

[rm.livejournal.com]

Thank you! Join the community at graduate_maria and check out the post about how to offer (some friends of ours will be puttinng up posts soon so you'll see some in action) and that's that for now! And of course, any signal boosting you can do would be awesome.

[sixteenbynine.livejournal.com]

Joining now!

[rm.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[sixteenbynine.livejournal.com]

Yup - I chipped in for Deb's Liver Lovers as well.

[heavenscalyx.livejournal.com]

Which was awesome! You were an early adopter there, too, as I recall. :)

[heavenscalyx.livejournal.com]

Hoooboy, I feel that story.

Joining, and will do what I can.

[rm.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[imaginarycircus.livejournal.com]

I'm just finishing up a pair of socks and am plotting new knitting projects. I will definitely put something up for auction.

[rm.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[lostin-thestars.livejournal.com]

Sending warm and happy thoughts. Now that I'm away from my ex, I just started my schooling and I couldn't be happier.

[rm.livejournal.com]

Thank you, and I'm so glad for you!

[brewsternorth.livejournal.com]

Joined. A brilliant idea!

[rm.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[roadnotes.livejournal.com]

I've joined, and Soren and I will do what we can.

[rm.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much!

[marchek.livejournal.com]

I don't really need any stuff right now. Can I just send a donation directly to her paypal account?

[rm.livejournal.com]

Yes, that's totally fine and very much appreciated!

[marchek.livejournal.com]

done!

[tlatzomia.livejournal.com]

Ugh, I would love to make something but finding out I am most likely having a baby by July 5 instead of July 25th, my time is a bit...full. :) We'll definitely donate some money, though, and keep an eye on the community. Best of luck to Maria.

[rm.livejournal.com]

Thank you! And BABY!

[tlatzomia.livejournal.com]

BABY! :D :D :D

[askeladden.livejournal.com]

I'd like to offer a new Microsoft Sidewinder X4 keyboard, reversibly altered to serve as a steno machine ($80 value), with six hours of lessons in steno theory and in using the open source steno software I'm delevoping (http://plover.stenoknight.com). Right now the program lets you write up to 225 WPM into a text file on Windows, Mac OS, or Linux, but eventually it will allow for high-speed control and text input into any program. Steno is fun and useful, and it's pretty easy to learn. I think the lessons would be most helpful if conducted in person (I can travel within the five boroughs or hold them in my office in Brooklyn), but if someone wants to bid for the keyboard and lessons long distance, I'm happy to ship the keyboard and game to try teaching over IM or whatever.

[rm.livejournal.com]

That's FABULOUS and really neat. Thank you so much. Go over to graduate_maria to post it and feel free to poke me if you're having technical difficulties and need assistance.

[askeladden.livejournal.com]

And I'm gonna go repost this in the auction community.

[rm.livejournal.com]

Hee!

[brewsternorth.livejournal.com]

Ooooh! That sounds like a brilliant package. Also, that's a fascinating writeup about the utility of steno (I can certainly attest to the limitations of QWERTY).

[askeladden.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I've got one more section left in the "What is Steno Good For?" series, and then I'm going to continue the "Steno 101" series that I started a few weeks ago. Eventually I want to have an entire steno theory course available for free online.

[sanat.livejournal.com]

Joining! I could pull some items from my Etsy, or I could see if my current creative kick produces anything fresh.

[rm.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much!

[alizarin-nyc.livejournal.com]

I'm moved.

And as a cat rescuer in NYC, who sees daily the number of animals abandoned by their owners for the slightest of reasons, her dedication to her cats makes me very happy, and so does the extra $ promised to the Ten Lives Club.

I'll participate!

[rm.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[coyotegoth.livejournal.com]

I've tossed some dosh into my PayPal account; once it clears, I'll send it her way.

[kadairk.livejournal.com]

You'll probably already do this without me asking, but can you boost this a few more times this summer? I really don't need stuff, I'd like to donate, but need to wait until another paycheck or two. I'm afraid I'll forget by then. :)

I think it's great the way you present your readers with opportunities to help other people. I help when I can, because I'm finally at a point in my life where I occasionally CAN help, and it feels wonderful to do so. Thank you!

[glinda-w.livejournal.com]

Give me a couple of days to claw my way back out of some stuff going on wiht other friends, and I'll come up with one of my wire-wrapped, sterling plus glass/stone/pearl necklaces.

(leaving this tab open as a reminder to myself)

[labellerose.livejournal.com]

I'm in!