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sundries
I've also seen a bit of discussion about the presentation of race in the series (notably, an early sequence showing a white band in black-face). Yes, it's historically accurate. But, that doesn't make it unreasonable for people to talk about how it makes them uncomfortable or whether or not showing this moment is necessary to the construction of the show. It's not appropriate to dismiss that conversation, even if you ultimately disagree with the conclusions any particular person involved in it reaches.
I really, really did not know what to do with "Number 5". Is this Angel does Tarrantino? How much of this is as things happen in a supernatural reality and how much of this is as heightened (un)reality narrative bias? Is this racist? Should Whedon ever be allowed near anything that pretends to be about South American or Latin American or Hispanic cultures? Ever? Because I remember "Inca Mummy Girl" and so do you. On the other hand, it had such a small, gentle, touching ending, and I do like the idea that everyone, even the dude you think it just a punchline has an important, meaningful story and deserves your respect.
The Wesley's robot dad episode has its own set of problems. Namely, robot ninjas raining from the sky. Ninjas are a crappy shortcut in terms of narrative and racial presentation (faceless Asian horde, seriously?). On the other hand, the performances knock this out of the park -- we see the awkward Wesley we remember from Buffy, we see a man who is both too ruthless (Wes, just because you have nothing left to live for and would happily give up your life for the greater good, doesn't mean everyone else is on that page) and too generous (for fuck's sake, TELL FRED) to be happy, and, ultimately, we see a man who doesn't know quite what to think about his own childhood. Was his father merely cruel (not that words don't do a lot of damage) or as was referenced in an episode way back (Patty had to remind me) actually physically abusive? What makes Wesley the worse man? the desire to connect with his father or the desire to kill him? None of this works without Alexis Denisof being able to run rings around a simple script (again, ninjas? must we?).
This is also an episode that speaks, again, to so much of early Torchwood -- Wesley and Angel touching base after a night of professional disasters. Wesley, worrying about how their fearless, remote, miserable leader is doing, more than being worried about his own pain related to robot
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This. My parents were extremely over-protective of me, but all I wanted was to take the short public bus ride from across the street from our house and walk a few blocks to my school. In, btw, one of the wealthiest neighborhoods in New York City.
I can't imagine being ten and not chaffing for more freedom.
Do parents let their 16-year-olds go on spring break trips on their own anymore? I wasn't allowed to go to Cancun like some of my friends, but a group of my friends and I went to DC for the weekend.
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Oh my. That was so not an issue when I was a teenager. Spring break trips period? Nope, couldn't afford it. I'd be allowed to take the bus into the city (I lived in rural Manitoba) to visit my best friend or boyfriend, though, so maybe that counts?
I am constantly amazed how different everyone's lives are, even those growing up on the same continent. I mean, I grew up in both a small prairie city and then a much smaller rural town. It felt like everyone had very similar life experiences. I can't help but be in awe over the glamour (in my eyes) you seem accustomed to. Although I do understand that it's not all theatre and vacations and famous people. :) While the internet can be a scary place at times, it's fabulous for seeing perspectives outside of your own little bubble.
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I understand how safe things like the buses and the Metro are both because of personal experience and the ability to read and understand statistics. She's still young enough for many things to be brand new. She's yet to travel truly on her own, so even though she's ridden the public bus and Metro a lot, she's never done it By Herself, and so it's weird and scary. And she's gotten the message from everywhere that the world is a Weird and Scary Place, even though we regularly show her that it isn't really.
Kids don't generally travel on their own any more, any where outside of the local area without at least one adult present. Sometimes, that adult is an older sibling/other relative and only barely older (and not necessarily the most mature person in the group) but 16 year olds, going camping for a weekend, not happening. Leaving the country on their own? Totally not happening. The parents would be considered neglectful and wrecklessly endangering their kids.
Kids 16 and up are still allowed to stay over night at home without parents. Though, I think that could also vary according to jurisdiction. Some places may be stricter.
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I don't tell her about cracking her head open or putting her eye out. She does thought have to sit in the backseat and there will be negotiations when she gets to be old enough to drive. (I do not think 16 year olds have enough life experience to drive in the metro DC area.)
My mother was killed in a carwreck and my sister gravely injured. I know how dangerous cars are and when the kidlet asks to sit in the front seat I say point blank, "No. It's too dangerous. I'm not risking what happened to your auntie happening to you."
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(I'm sorry for your family's loss.)
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And thanks. It was a long time ago, nearly 28 years ago but it left its mark.
Learning to drive *smart*
When you're ready to start thinking about her driving...*if* it's not too distracting for you, I'd recommend you start talking about your decision process while you're driving. Just an ongoing commentary, so she learns what you're taking in. Some front-seat time before she starts trying to drive would be good, too. You don't get the same sense of the road from the back seat.
I learned to merge onto freeways by practicing on a surface street that had a similar "on ramp" type turn - no stop, just drive and learn to yield. I found it nervewracking, but until I could do that, I was trapped in suburban L.A.
Something I wish my parents had done for me is more training in learning how to adjust my mirrors, and to teach me what I could reasonably expect to see in my mirrors. I knew the mechanics, but not the conceptual tools. (The summer I got my license was full of parental marriage explosion drama, capped by suicide of a parent. It was not a good time, to put it mildly.)
I would park the car in a parking lot, set out some cones (or other appropriate height markers in all the spots where you should be able to see, and have your teen practice adjusting until they're visible. Set a few cones in the blind spots, or have people stand there, to give a real understanding of how that works.
I don't have a "learning to change lanes" exercise, but I note that it's one of my biggest points of nervousness in driving, even now.
(I'd do all my initial "learn how to steer a car" stuff in a deserted weekend morning parking lot, actually.)
Now, as far as learning defensive driving techniques...this may sound crazy, but I'd have her take the Motorcycle Safety Foundation's basic motorcycle skills class. Learning to think like a motorcyclist has done more for my car driving skills than anything else. Constantly scanning the road for my escape route made a huge difference.
That's my plan for how my kids will be learning. I haven't tested this out, and I'm sure I'm missing some major things. I'm guessing that you're planning on a professional teaching some basic driving skills, anyway. I've tried to just cover the fine-tuning bits. I hope someone else reading this has more ideas.
Re: Learning to drive *smart*
And yeah, there will be private lessons on top of the crap they get through school. I may even see if it would be possible to get her to skip the school based lessons (more the actual driving part than the booked based part) because I was stuck in a car with an absolute idiot that terrified me and my gym teacher was hopelessly clueless.
You've got some really good ideas that make a lot of sense and sound really helpful.
And as we get closer to 16 (she's 11 1/2 now) I'll definitely talk more about the mechanics of driving.
Front seat time will have to wait a bit because I think Maryland's got a rule of who sits up front. Kids under 12 or 100 lbs. need to be in the back. (which is funny because there are lots of adult women who don't weigh enough to sit in the front seat ;-p) It's a seat belt/air bag safety thing.
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My mother was left alone to watch her younger brothers for a week when she was 15. But my mom had older (married) siblings around in case she needed help, although I think my grandparents were out of the country (?!).
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My parents let me travel by myself from the time I was 16, but I don't think they would have let me go en masse with friends to another country.
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I don't feel like my personal experience is the best answer to that, though.