I am undergoing training for online teaching right now, and the enforced "community" is straining all my resources and then some. I don't feel safe, I don't feel acceptable, I don't feel like I want to play their reindeer games, because I am certain that I am not going to be OK if I am "true to myself." And that's without having to deal with all the nuances of in-person gender presentation, which as a fat queer femme are another brand of crazy-making.

So, I hear you.