sundries, item 0

[rm]

This may be a little ranty today.

Item 1: I probably don't have a leg to stand on in asking people not to be all "let's talk shit about a celebrity," but I've run into a huge amount of it lately directed at people I either know or have good friends who are super close to the parties in question, and it makes me uncomfortable. FYI and do as you will, but way better in your journal than in mine.

Item 2: Yes, I've asked people to knock it off with the size-ism around here, and y'all have, and that's awesome. However there was a little thingy about it yesterday, that makes me need to say this: we can't always ask people to view themselves the same way we see them, so if someone makes a nasty comment about themselves please be gentle in asking them to watch their language. Yes, that stuff has a ripple effect, but as someone who has enough self-hating crap of their own, sometimes people need to do their stuff. I always appreciate it when you try to talk me out of it, but some days it's hard to be good to ourselves and near impossible to be good to other people. Also, we all define what's best for us differently. Complex situation has complex non-answer.

Item 3: And on that note, we're all mostly doing the best we can. We're all not going to agree on how we can do the best we can for ourselves and others. We're all going to prioritize different issues, and we're all going to come at things from multiple lenses. And we're all going to use tools - like hyperbole and metaphor - to tell stories, and sometimes those tools or those stories will get us in trouble. But that doesn't make stories or the tools or the reach for narrative inherently bad. Sometimes I wish all of us, myself included, could track a little harder on the babies in the bathwater (then again, I eat babies, so there may be issues in this whole theory). Still, don't be an asshole, apologize when you fuck up, listen when people talk, stand behind your words when it counts, say what you mean, mean what you say, grasp that everything has consequences and that some of those can even be quite good.

Item 4: Hey, stop ragging on people for being successful. Don't like someone's output? Go off on that! Are appalled at their racism? Just saw the YouTube video where they kick some puppies? Expose that shit! But this whole thing where success (or ambition) seems to inately imply crap work, crap attitudes, crap morals, crap everything in some circles and then we're all bullying little nastygrams about it? Not on. Like most things, success isn't the evil, it's the stuff that sometimes hitches a ride. But cutting down other people won't lift you up. Trust me, I know, I've tried it, early and often.

Item 5: I am cooking Thanksgiving dinner in the UK on Thursday. Because the UK, obviously, doesn't have Thanksgiving, and has different culinary habits than NYC, could anyone speak to me of the ease of finding: a whole chicken (not turkey, because I actually hate it), sweet potatoes, canned pumpkin, sliced ham steak, brown sugar, pecans, and pine nuts in Cardiff supermarkets?

And where I am with the TSA thing:

- You need to deal with this in the way that's best for you. People saying that people should protest and in what ways they should protest isn't fair considering all the intersecting issues involved. People saying "this is one most of protest that's being organized on this day, please considering participating if you can" is a lot more reasonable.

- People talking about protesting by being sexually assaultive towards TSA employees are being assholes. Period.

- If you are considering engaging in inappropriate public nudity in protest, please consider the impact this may have on those around you in line. A lot of people's stuff is getting triggered by the situation, and your actions have a lot of potential repercussions outside of protest.

- Yes, I know protest isn't supposed to be comfortable, but meeting violation with more violation pretty much sucks.

- Yes, I know that an actually effective pat down will feel pretty damn invasive, having had the experience in travel (I think in Europe though) in that last year. HOWEVER, one of the big concerns about the TSA doing it is that these are not trained law enforcement officers who have had thorough background checks. The idea of someone on the sex offender registry who doesn't know what their' doing patting me down? Yeah no.

- Yes, I know the scanners fall somewhere between more dangerous than the TSA is saying and less dangerous than mutant death rays (or, you know, an extra twenty minutes in flight). However, as a frequent traveler with a significant family breast cancer history, if I don't want to go in one of those things, it's my choice to make. And I have fuck all (which is to say NONE WHATSOEVER) patience with people on the Internet who want to tell me I'm wrong to have pause.

- Similarly, I know it may be irrational as someone whose ass has been five feet tall and luminous (Fur: An Imaginary Portrait of Diane Arbus, 2006), but the whole naked picture thingy weirds me out thanks to the recent confirmation that yes, it can see if you're wearing a sanitary napkin or tampon. At the point that you're looking at what's in my cunt and there's not a consented to gynecological examine prison strip search going on, there's a problem.

- There are very few good options in this mess. Information may be the only power you have, because at least it can help you make the right choice for you. kdsorceress reports on her opt-out experience which seems, as she described it, both professional and unnerving. I know her in person, and so can say this is probably very useful reading for what to expect if you engage the system politely and professionally. Reassuring it ain't. browneyedgirl65 has been doing a series of roundups on all this: Try this and this.

- What am I doing? Well, I'm in Europe, and I don't know what my opt-out options are. I also know that even for US traveling, I'm going to have to play it by ear. Because both options raise issues for me, and the right choice for me is going to be different on different days.

Apartheid-era photos return to South Africa.

The NYC Subway may be about to slip the bonds of the city. If it does, EVERYTHING changes.

The chain store fate of many a New York movie palace.

DO YOU ALL WANT MORE PICTURES OF THE BABY CATHEDRAL DEER? You seemed to really like those is all I'm saying.

Comments

[bibliogirl.livejournal.com]

OK, food. Whole chicken: no problem. Sweet potatoes: almost certainly no problem. Canned pumpkin: may be tricky, whole pumpkin possibly easier. Sliced ham steak: not quite sure what you're after there. Brown sugar: trivial. Pecans: unlikely to be an issue. Pine nuts: also shouldn't be a problem.

[rm.livejournal.com]

Awesome, thanks!

[elusis.livejournal.com]

I have gathered from other UK-located USA-ians that canned pumpkin is very near non-existant on that side of the pond. I believe substituting canned sweet potato was acceptable for the purposes of pie.

I would guess brown sugar and pecans would be fairly easy but then I know nothing of Cardiff in particular.

[rm.livejournal.com]

Brown sugar can be REALLY hard to find in some places, weirdly enough, hence my asking what I'm concerned some will view as offensive queries, but I'm really just trying to plan and don't know.

[lookingaround17.livejournal.com]

I agree that it's obvious that molesting anyone for any weird "instructional/protest" purpose is bullshit--really! Who would think that's okay ever (except tons of molesters etc.)?

[rm.livejournal.com]

Lots of assholes on the Internet this week, sadly.

[laughingacademy.livejournal.com]

five feet tall and luminous

Man, I miss Soul Coughing.

[rm.livejournal.com]

I KNOW. Did I ever tell you about the night I sat, fully clothed, in an empty bathttub with Doughty rolling toy trucks around?

[such_heights]

People saying that people should protest and in what ways they should protest isn't fair considering all the intersecting issues involved.

Yes, thank you. I went through one of those scanners while I was travelling this summer, and it skeeves me the hell out when I think about it too hard. But given that that even non-'enhanced' pat downs are triggering for me, there isn't another option. Huge respect for kdsorceress, but ack. D:

[51stcenturyfox.livejournal.com]

could anyone speak to me of the easy of finding: a whole chicken (not turkey, because I actually hate it), sweat potatoes, canned pumpkin, sliced ham steak, brown sugar, pecans, and pine nuts in Cardiff supermarkets?

Well, canned pumpkin might be hard since pumpkin pie isn't a dessert there, it's in savory things like soups. Waitrose has a Thanksgiving section online but I'm not sure about the stores and you'll be in transit, so...

Some ideas for traditional goodies/substitutions here:
http://community.livejournal.com/brits_americans/1561074.html

I've been abroad for several Thanksgivings, and I waver between OMG DUPLICATING EVERYTHING, substituting for something sort of similar but regional and autumnal or saying fuckit, eating lasagne and making Thanksgiving dinner in January or something.

[yamx]

I've only seen thee scanners once so far, at Amsterdam airport (incidentally, while going to Cardiff. And back.) They offered opt-out, but you got patted down instead. I had a VERY short connection, so I opted for the scanner -- and ended up getting down anyway, because I'd been running (see above re: short connection) and apparently the heat distorted the image to the point where it became necessary for a woman to fondle my boobs and armpits. And it wasn't the old style thing with a wand, it was an actual hands-on pat-down. so lucky me, I got both!

Caught the plane, though.

ETA: If these things can see tampons, what if you're wearing a menstrual cup? Those aren't well-known--what if the security people think you're hiding something down there? *worries* I don't want a cavity search...

[elusis.livejournal.com]

They cannot see tampons, or anything else actually inside the body (like... weapons). What they can see is the pad you have in your underwear, or the adult diaper you need due to incontinence issues, or the prosthetic breast you wear post-mastectomy, or the fact that your genitals don't match your apparent gender, or your colostomy bag, or [insert other thing you would not like a random stranger to mock you about or have a photo of here].

Which just points out how stupid this all is as, if what it takes to get a weapon on a plane is secreting it in your crotch or your mouth, and you want very badly to bring down said plane, secrete you will. And yet no one's argued the "pat down" should include a cavity search.

Yet.

[tintop-lizzy.livejournal.com]

Cardiff has supermarkets. Many many supermarkets.

[rm.livejournal.com]

Yes, of course. But not all those things are necessarily available there (i.e., friends in big cities in India tell me finding brown sugar is almost impossible in the supermarkets; canned pumpkin seems a likely challenge in the UK from other responses; and I literally had no idea until today if people outside of the US even eat sweet potatoes, because they're not something I eat, and so I've not noticed them on menus elsewhere).

[fiwen1010.livejournal.com]

Sliced ham steak, I'm guessing gammon? (Ahh, dialect, gotta love it.) If it is gammon then it should be really easy to get hold of.

[rm.livejournal.com]

That seems to at least be close, yes. I had to google it!

[brewsternorth.livejournal.com]

A postscript to the NYC Subway plan: apparently the MTA had only just heard of the notion from Team Bloomberg too.

Thanks for the link to kdsorceress.

[shesingsnow.livejournal.com]

I think in the US most of our canned pumpkin is actually canned Hubbard squash or some kind of field squash - so keep that in mind if you see canned squash instead of pumpkin. Anyway the trick here is that it's not really where you'd expect to find it in a US supermarket. Sometimes it's inexplicably with the canned fruit. Sometimes it's with the baking supplies. Often it's with the canned vegetables. Sometimes it's called pumpkin puree, too. Don't forget the "foreign foods" aisles. You might also see an "American Holiday" display in a supermarket like Tesco.

There's no question you can get brown sugar in the UK. If you wanted to go with a UK twist you could pick up white sugar and black treacle and mix the two. :-)

[The UK is easier for finding molasses-based products. In Australia it's near-impossible to find molasses.]

Hope that helps!

[gement.livejournal.com]

The NYC Subway may be about to slip the bonds of the city. If it does, EVERYTHING changes.

So it's finally really the 21st Century?

[hoyland54.livejournal.com]

- What am I doing? Well, I'm in Europe, and I don't know what my opt-out options are. I also know that even for US traveling, I'm going to have to play it by ear. Because both options raise issues for me, and the right choice for me is going to be different on different days.

You'll want to double-check this, but I believe in the UK you do not have the option to opt out. I'm not sure how widespread the scanners are there, though. (The news always makes it sound like all airports have them, but I didn't see one in March in Manchester, for whatever that's worth.) There were some leaked images on Gizmodo that suggest the person viewing the body scans sees an image of the clothed person simultaneously, which makes that option feel less safe from a "perceived gender may not match genitals" point of view than it would if they only saw your nude outline. I'm honestly not sure what happens if they send the right/wrong person to grope you (from your perspective or theirs). I'd read things suggesting this might not be a problem, but that was before their fascination with touching genitals. To be honest, I think I'll end up in tears either way and they'll feel worse about it if their touching me made me cry, so I might stand on principle, fuck with my head a bit more and find a girly shirt and the purse of disguise.

[bibliogirl.livejournal.com]

BTW, I have recently flown out of Heathrow terminals 3 (Barcelona) and 5 (Rome) and in neither case has one of the "imaging" scanners been involved; just a standard metal-detector arch and a wand/pat-down (and not a grope) if you cause it to bleep or are randomly selected by it bleeping, My OH has likewise flown out of Heathrow T1 every week for most of the last year and the same applies.

Neither of us have flown out of T4 at Heathrow recently, and his most recent experience of Gatwick was about four, five months ago recently, but we've not hit the imaging scanners at all yet, so the opt-out/no-opt-out is a bit moot for us so far.

[arjache.livejournal.com]

My understanding is that Rome tried out the scanners for a few months but shelved them in September after deciding they didn't meet their needs. That said, I haven't actually flown through there yet - I just looked this up for an upcoming trip.

[feyandstrange.livejournal.com]

From my memories of non-Harrods-or-airbase-assisted Thanksgivings in the UK:

Be aware that things will be measured in non-American amounts. Conversion or substitution gets awkward sometimes.

Sweet potatoes existed; for the love of heaven, do NOT use British marshmallows for any topping. I'm against marshmallow topping anyway, but Brit marshmallows are inexplicably often pink, and it's just hideous.

I often had to sub or add molasses to raw or white sugar to get that brown sugar flavor.

Pumpkin was at the time nearly unavailable, but I understand that like in the US it's had a resurgence among trendy savory foods, so look for canned in better shops. (I loathe pumpkin and usually made apple instead unless asked.)

Ham should be available, not sure about that particular cut or size, but something ought to be findable; they like hams for Christmas, so there should be lots around. Might end up using a small boneless ham quarter or the like as a substititute for the ham steak.

Pecans, sure; pine nuts, not sure. (My family regarded those as food for animals, not people.)

That data is fifteen years old and from London and Cambridge, and leaving out Harrods as mentioned.

[maudelynn.livejournal.com]

Discretion, and not talking crap, is a much more valuable trait than some realise. I will over look more than I might if I know I can trust a person.

[mirabile-dictu.livejournal.com]

Oddly, I just read an article about pumpkin pie in the Guardian, here. The author ended up using butternut squash. Me? I prefer sweet potato pie, mmm.

[easter.livejournal.com]

When I lived in Wales it was impossible to find much of the above, but I think a great deal has changed since then. If you are desperate for pumpkin pie, the Hard Rock Cafe has, in the past, done an American Thanksgiving meal on Thanksgiving Day, and I believe there is an Expat Meetup group who also makes a T-day dinner: http://www.meetup.com/american-195/calendar/15299551/

Now as far as Item Two goes: If I am being frank, I saw that comment and its response made me uncomfortable and angry. I can talk about it more if you'd like, but I don't want to set off anyone who might erroneously think it would be a good thing to police how I talked or felt about my body.

[rm.livejournal.com]

I think the best thing for the thing that set off item two is to let that specific situation alone, since it now seems to be over. But that was a big lot of "there's no completely right answer (something I struggle with a lot) and I wish this weren't happening" for me as host (with crap Internet connection), however I have no objection to continuing discussion on general complexity of thing.

[darthhellokitty.livejournal.com]

Well, it may be hard to get canned pumpkin, but babies are available everywhere! ;-)

[austengirl.livejournal.com]

I ended up ordering canned pumpkin through Waitrose online (aka ocado.com). I think most of the things on your list could be obtained there if Patty were able to do an order (there is a,minimum, but I forget how much it is). I've found Tesco's own brand dark soft brown sugar to be pretty similar to Domino's. Golden syrup can work as a substitute for corn syrup if needed.

[of-polyhymnia.livejournal.com]

I found pecans, brown sugar, and sweet potatoes in Tescos (in Oxford, so ymmv, but Tescos is not an upscale grocery store, so your chances are good), and Waitrose has canned pumpkin in stores, at least in London.

[naath.livejournal.com]

Our local Tesco currently has fresh pumpkin, but I've never seen canned (but then I've never looked for it). Not sure how hard it is to substitute fresh.

In general the larger the supermarket the more selection of "obscure" items there will be, but you might need to try more than one to find some things. Whole chicken is a common item (fresh or frozen, free range, organic... lots of kinds of chicken) in supermarkets. I'm not sure what you mean by "ham steak" although you may mean what we call "gammon" which you can get in 'steak' form. Brown sugar probably lives with baking ingredients, and it's reasonably common here in several forms; various kinds of nut might be hard to find but probably exist in large supermarkets, you may end up paying "snacky health food" prices rather than "cooking ingredient" prices :-(

[pineapplechild.livejournal.com]

BABY CATHEDRAL DEER~

[bodlon.livejournal.com]

However there was a little thingy about it yesterday, that makes me need to say this: we can't always ask people to view themselves the same way we see them, so if someone makes a nasty comment about themselves please be gentle in asking them to watch their language.

Thank you for saying this. While I'm ambivalent about loving it per se, I own my size. I use language for myself ("fat," "chunky," "chunk-style," etc.) that I might not use to describe others unless I'm sufficiently intimate with them on a social basis to know whether or not they're good with it. Me, I am. I know how big I am. Am I the biggest guy I know? No. But I'm not small on any axis, and I'm more or less aware of it, and part of rocking it hard is to be able to own it without apology.

As for the TSA, I think something that needs to get brought into this conversation is the difference between TSA the Entity and TSA workers as Human Beings. That's significant. (Also that responding to abuse with more abuse is stupid, but hey.)

Oh, and I saw a great recipe for babies on this canning blog the other day...