restless cranky

Wow, I keep being annoyed intermittantly by something really petty. It's not even really annoying. I'm jealous. It's fannish and lame, besides. Blargh.

So today I'm waiting for that phone call re: the Renn Faire. That's become a strange series of mixed emotions as well, complicated by the possibility that the show I'm doing right now has gotten into Fringe. It's probably insane, but I suppose if it has gotten into Fringe, I'd be better off doing that, eventhough it's less working actor in the paycheck department and more exposure. Or something. Clearly this, like every single thought process I am capable of having today, is me getting ahead of myself.

Irritable like I sometimes get after watching movies where I feel like I will always suck and/or clawing after the impossible. Actually this is also irritable like I used to get in an old relationship where I'd want reassurance on principle, and then not be given it, on principle, and it was a spiralling thing of doom and misery and argument. Wow... that's a weird realization, how this feels exactly the same. The industry is like a bad boyfriend. Or something. I suppose it's not even really convinced we're dating, either. *snerk* Okay, that was gratuitous, but kinda funny.

Hey, apparently early reviews of Episode III are actually good though? Wacky.

At least there's Kingdom of Heaven this weekend and my free spa thingy on Thursday morning.

Once my foot heals I'm going to try to do some of the Scottish dancing classes in the city during the week. A lot of the stuff is relevant to the Regency stuff, and it will get me/keep me in shape, and I'll stop being in miserable pain aftert his damn once a month dance class.

Work is the prayer. Or something. Maybe this is PMS?

meanwhile

Return of the ugly child question:
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/05/03/health/03ugly.html?8hpib

"Although the researchers were unsure why, good-looking boys were usually kept in closer proximity to the adults taking care of them than were pretty girls. The researchers speculated that girls might be considered more competent and better able to act independently than boys of the same age."

Or perhaps we just expect girls to be stolen.

like in Kyrgyzstan

(no subject)

I think we can safely say by now that I will not be working at the Renn Faire this summer. This is probably good, as it's zero in the exposure department, and hopefully this year I will manage to get cast in a Fringe show. But, as I often am when I don't get cast, I feel embarassed -- not in front of you all, but at whatever suckitude I displayed in the audition.