today

work, audition, work, shopping for play, dinner with Kali, rehearsal, work

I mustn't try to think about it, rather just trust it will all flow organically and I won't feel tired until I pass the fuck out at the end of it all.

Somewhere in all of this I have a long thing to write about the fact that I'm a rather serious person and where do people get off thinking I shouldn't be? from the dude who demands I smile when walking down the street to the actors who want me to enable their excessive joking during rehearsal time. Just 'cause I'm the cop sometimes, doesn't mean I'm the bad cop.

the relevance of women

baldanders brings us the following quote:

"Women's social rights are not critical to the evolution of democracy."
- Reuel Marc Gerecht, a former CIA analyst, on NBC's "Meet The Press", 8/21.

If you want the context, which makes it vaguely less repellant a statement, links to that appear here: http://www.livejournal.com/users/baldanders/211184.html

It is quotes like this that both made me feel some measure of gratitude to live in the society I do, but also make me rage that I should have to be grateful for what is a half-assed approximation of what is my due as a human being. That I should then have to justify my unattractive, and therefore commonly regarded as offensive, anger as a class of person easily described as "troubling afterthought" is just another subtle - and sadly enough, trivial - indignity.

There is a line in my play, "I don't seem upset, because I'm always upset." I'm not as polite as the women I write.

Back in the BBS that shall not be named days, we all got into some thrash about women's rights or rape or something, I can't recall. And I responded in this incredibly obnoxious way, which was to start posting "chick news" over and over on the main forum (this later became a feature of a women's mailing list I ran for a time, but this was in the co-ed environment) just to demonostrate how many random news stories about women seemed to be about either their victimization or more absurdly, critiquing their feminity in the face of their accomplishments. It enraged people, in part because it sort of clogged up the message board, but I think also because it was both so agressive and so banal no one could think of a proper response to it, other than the usual round of aspersions cast.