my gf is evil

Because do I need a crush on Lord Asriel from His Dark Materials? No, I do not. Do I have one? Yes, damn the girl.

fanfic recs anyone?
and please not x-overs, unless it's the best thing you've read ever ever ever, because I'm semi-allergic.
a quick google seems to reveal I'd have to write it myself, which may not be within my capabilities. Lord Asriel doesn't seem introspective enough for me to find the voice.