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Kali's conference was exhausting. Mostly for her, but also for me. I think I managed to ask intelligent questions in some of the panels I was attending. This is frought for me, because I never doubt my intelligence, and to even be in a position where I have to question my ability to use the appropriate language of discussion is unfamliar for me. I am not an academic. I do something else. Even in my fantasy self, such an occupation is fiercly restricted to the sections of my inner life that have a very different existence than my own. It can seem like it should be a little weird in my head -- it's important to me to make a good showing, even when it's just someone else's showing and I have to listen smartly. Anyway, I had a good time, and it's nice to be able to be in a room full of people where nearly all of them are at least as smart as me, and only a few of them are already known to me. One of the major advantages ot Kali's academic life is that it encourages me to take advantage of the sorts of things we all have some degree of access to in New York all the time, but most of us don't bother with. We're going to an advance showing of some Greek art from the Byzantine Empire to the Victorian Era that my alumni association is putting on in a couple of weeks. I don't know if it's something it would have occured to me to do previously (although I really do love the early side of that time period spread).
My stomach continues to improve, but I hate conducting every moment with nervousness bcause of it. Feh.
Meanwhile, I have been pointed to: http://www.annherendeen.com/index.html which is the website for a "bisexual Regency romance novel". I do not read romance novels, but I'm sorry, I simply must order this (for the fabulously awful anachronistic similies alone! although I am bemused by the gratuitous inclusion of a fellow from Yorkshire), and no doubt circulate it widely amongst friends and dancers, many of whom will no doubt hate me forever for the gesture.
Here is as good a place as anywhere now to note that it is apparently so common to be queer now that heaven help you if you are looking for actual meaningful advice on coming out to one's family. My problem is not that they are relgious, nor that I am young and unsure of myself. My problem is that both of those things would be far easier than the quagmire I've made of this thing, which on some level isn't that important, but simply must be done -- less out of my sense of relationship with them and more as relates to my needing to be true to things that are important to me, and it seems vile to love the things I love, for the reasons I love them and not just come clean about it all, no matter how inevitably annoying the repercussions. Poly complicates the problem, both in terms of information overload for them, my life and the creative thing again.
I have other things to say, but cannot recall them. So I'm going to go to sleep, as I must do laundry before work tomorrow, but I am at least rewarded with a proper date with the girl at the end of my toils.
ETA: Oh yes! The girl has also recently made me watch the pilot of Queer as Folk, and I am now hooked. Brian's an interesting character, not because he's an asshole, but because his affect is so entirely peculiar.
My stomach continues to improve, but I hate conducting every moment with nervousness bcause of it. Feh.
Meanwhile, I have been pointed to: http://www.annherendeen.com/index.html which is the website for a "bisexual Regency romance novel". I do not read romance novels, but I'm sorry, I simply must order this (for the fabulously awful anachronistic similies alone! although I am bemused by the gratuitous inclusion of a fellow from Yorkshire), and no doubt circulate it widely amongst friends and dancers, many of whom will no doubt hate me forever for the gesture.
Here is as good a place as anywhere now to note that it is apparently so common to be queer now that heaven help you if you are looking for actual meaningful advice on coming out to one's family. My problem is not that they are relgious, nor that I am young and unsure of myself. My problem is that both of those things would be far easier than the quagmire I've made of this thing, which on some level isn't that important, but simply must be done -- less out of my sense of relationship with them and more as relates to my needing to be true to things that are important to me, and it seems vile to love the things I love, for the reasons I love them and not just come clean about it all, no matter how inevitably annoying the repercussions. Poly complicates the problem, both in terms of information overload for them, my life and the creative thing again.
I have other things to say, but cannot recall them. So I'm going to go to sleep, as I must do laundry before work tomorrow, but I am at least rewarded with a proper date with the girl at the end of my toils.
ETA: Oh yes! The girl has also recently made me watch the pilot of Queer as Folk, and I am now hooked. Brian's an interesting character, not because he's an asshole, but because his affect is so entirely peculiar.
