morning sundries

It's cool and breezy this morning in a way that makes me want to listen to David Sylvian, although looking at the weather I see it will get warm enough today that everything I think I want to wear will actually kill me if I do. It occurs to me that some of the misunderstandings I've come to expect about my nature come from the fact that my most powerful season is also my melancholy one. This is what I am, this is how I do things and graceful doesn't mean small or weak. I'm very aware right now of how and when people have perceived me as a dumb bunny, and aside from one incident I can think of, of total screaming stupidity on my part after a very long relationship of mine finally terminated itself, if I'm smiling and nodding, it should never necessarily be taken to mean my agreement and certainly not my acquiescence -- it's just that I don't fight about shit that's important to other people; I fight about shit that's important to me -- and while that can concern what others value, quite frankly, people can hold whatever personal truths they want to around me as long as they don't impinge upon me and mine. Considering my family, people really should be able to better grok that "really, tell me why you pray to the purple jellybeans again" does _not_ mean I want to pray to the purple jellybeans too. I'm just sort of a habitual cataloguer of personal cosmologies, spiritual and otherwise.

My skin has broken out today for the first time since this gluten-free thing. I think it's just bad luck -- and also having to wear makeup lately for auditions. And of course I have a big stupid zit right where a bindi would go.

Meanwhile, I can't find my "girl" eye glasses. I've been wearing the boy ones for the last week. They went missing when I tore apart my room to get ready for the computer tech, so I guess I jsut need to tear it apart again. I do like to be able to go back and forth. Also, I've found that the "girl" ones are funny into all sorts of unlikely ways with teh right clothes.

You know, and this is a weird, but I think utterly legitimate, pet peeve, I own a lot of clothes that are just a tad off from white -- this is the point -- as bright, bright white is too modern for what I'm trying to do most of the time. So I hate when I do laundry, and instead of just making my clothes clean, the detergent makes it glow in the dark blue-white when it never was before. Truly, this makes me crazy. I am looking at a shirt of mine, that really you'll probably only ever see the barest sliver of at cuffs and collar and frowning.

Food I miss right now -- pizza (still, and I never ate that much of it) and tasty cake butterscotch krimpets.

(no subject)

raaven with a collection of links on the recent events that are currently snarling airport check-in lines everywhere.

http://raaven.livejournal.com/448049.html