Dear Torchwood Fandom redux

Dear Torchwood Fandom,

1. Show, don't tell.

2. Just because you are a virgin, doesn't mean Ianto is.

3. I can buy a submissive in bed Jack, occasionally and even habitually (you people writing Jack breath-control fic playing with the immortality thing rock my sick little world), but there are more than logistics you have to make work for the reader if you do this.

4. I'd complain about the all alien vibrator stories, but I'm actually surprised there aren't more of them, so it's okay.

5. Slang. Ianto does not use American slang. Jack probably doesn't use any very current American slang. And finally, misuse of British/Welsh slang is worse than omitting it.

6. How many people do you know who utter long complete sentences while fucking that make perfect sense and are delivered in a perfectly ordinary conversational cadence? Right. So why are Jack and Ianto doing that, exactly?

hornet!

Yesterday I come home from work and Patty says, "I got chased out of the bedroom by a hornet this morning, but now I think it is gone."

Okay.

I forget about it.

We go to sleep.

We wake up a couple of hours later, and then I hear it. Buzzzzz.

I've forgotten about the hornet.

Patty says, "It sounds like a cell phone."

I put my head back down on the pillow, it's really loud.

I sit up.

"No. Turn on the light."

The buzz changes pitch.

We discover a hornet right by our heads on the wall.

We evacuate and sleep on the couch/floor in the living room.

So I ask you:

- How long do hornets live?
- How do we get the hornet out of our bedroom?

meanwhile

It shouldn't surprise me that the Catholic Church knows where to find good graphic designers.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/04/15/us/nationalspecial2/15seminarians.html


Also, Emma Watson is of legal age in more jurisdictions today, LJ policy people take note.