Aug. 9th, 2008

I have this strange, intense fixation with Millienium Park/Pritzker Pavillion. We went again last night, and the five of us took off our shoes and took pictures and watched children run around -- a small girl with a lavender lightsaber; a boy of nine, sprinting back and forth across the lawn, through frisbee and football games; two sisters, maybe three and six, shrieking and strangling each other. And so there was grass undermy bare feet in a place that feels like it delivered on the goddamn flying cars.

My panel and paper went ridiculously well yesterday. The panel was shockingly well attended for something at 9am, and my paper was full - which meant about 100 people in the room. There were several challenging quetions asked, most of which will help strength the piece, and the one person who tried to trip me up, did so by referencing Dr. John Barry and not getting, in her question at least, the difference between a trans man and a woman engaged in cross-dressing and subtrafuge to practical purpose. Take that! Zap!

Sadly, there aren't a lot of things I want to attend this year, and several of them have been canceled because people couldn't actually get here, but I'm having fun.

Today I teach the acting class and finish the duelling paper. Tonight I read from Descensus and do meet the author. And in between? Swimming and shopping. After my Meet the author, it's back to Millenium Park. Because I just get it.
Fuck fuck fuck fuck.

I accidentally just toasted by deulling paper.

There is no way to get it back.

Choices:

- badly ramble for 40 minutes and be humiliated
- withdraw paper that was promoted to entire conference while I'm still here and be humiliated
- withdraw paper and hide in hotel room for rest of conference so people think I left and have trip ruined

I think HP fandom and I just parted ways forcefully.

I am freaking out.

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