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Dragon*Con -1
Sep. 4th, 2009 01:22 amhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b7wu7j5hDzY
We have arrived at Dragon*Con.
It's amazing to me how visceral my recollections of last year became sometime around 2pm this afternoon, still in New York, listening to Saturday Saints by Wages of Sin. It was my secret theme song to Dragon*Con last year, and the song that runs through my head when I work on the chick-lit-for-nerd-girls-OMG-what-am-I-doing? project. It's the song I listened to last year, more than half asleep on the airplane, having the most ridiculous and unlikely fantasies.
And then, of course, I actually got to Dragon*Con, where I was overwhelmed by the crowds and invisible in a way I was not used to experiencing because I wasn't in costume or showing a lot of skin and I was a very small fish in a very big pond and I couldn't find the cool parties and I didn't have serendipity, and it was just hard. But it was a really good experience, because aside from making new friends, it really forced me to get a lot of perspective about myself, about my life as a pro and my life as a fan, and, of course, about who I once was and who I am now. So... yeah... complicated.
This year, it seems the theme for me is being a slightly less tiny fish in a giant pond. I've already run into a slew of people who recognized me from here on LJ or last year, and Patty and I had a good dinner in a RIDICULOUS pub, but it was dark and full of con people hiding from the con. I've still got a ton of work to do for all my presentations, and that won't really happen until tomorrow; I still don't know when my fitting is for tomorrow night's fashion show. I still need to email a bunch of people about social plans and meetings.
I think it's going to good this year. I think I'm going to be good. I think it's going to matter. I'm excited. And I have no expectations or hopes or daydreams. But, in some way, walking around looking for food at night, all I can feel is last year. And that's good too in the strange way that it's like wearing someone else's skin. It's the memory of desire thwarted, and it's funny how sometimes that can be a relief.
We have arrived at Dragon*Con.
It's amazing to me how visceral my recollections of last year became sometime around 2pm this afternoon, still in New York, listening to Saturday Saints by Wages of Sin. It was my secret theme song to Dragon*Con last year, and the song that runs through my head when I work on the chick-lit-for-nerd-girls-OMG-what-am-I-doing? project. It's the song I listened to last year, more than half asleep on the airplane, having the most ridiculous and unlikely fantasies.
And then, of course, I actually got to Dragon*Con, where I was overwhelmed by the crowds and invisible in a way I was not used to experiencing because I wasn't in costume or showing a lot of skin and I was a very small fish in a very big pond and I couldn't find the cool parties and I didn't have serendipity, and it was just hard. But it was a really good experience, because aside from making new friends, it really forced me to get a lot of perspective about myself, about my life as a pro and my life as a fan, and, of course, about who I once was and who I am now. So... yeah... complicated.
This year, it seems the theme for me is being a slightly less tiny fish in a giant pond. I've already run into a slew of people who recognized me from here on LJ or last year, and Patty and I had a good dinner in a RIDICULOUS pub, but it was dark and full of con people hiding from the con. I've still got a ton of work to do for all my presentations, and that won't really happen until tomorrow; I still don't know when my fitting is for tomorrow night's fashion show. I still need to email a bunch of people about social plans and meetings.
I think it's going to good this year. I think I'm going to be good. I think it's going to matter. I'm excited. And I have no expectations or hopes or daydreams. But, in some way, walking around looking for food at night, all I can feel is last year. And that's good too in the strange way that it's like wearing someone else's skin. It's the memory of desire thwarted, and it's funny how sometimes that can be a relief.
