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Chronicles of Riddick
This may be the most awesomely bad (and enjoyably so) movie ever made.
Unlike the first movie, which was actually good, mainly because they had no budget and no idea how people would react, and as such didn't try to punch upon moments in all sorts of cracked out ways, Chronicles of Riddick is ambitious. Embarassingly so.
First some things that are honestly positive:
- the design, while often absurd, is really fantastic and compelling
- Graeme Revell delivers a very nice score
- the ending (which is apparently a big twist, although I didn't think so) is exactly what it should be
But oh my god. First of all, if they had just renamed all the races and planets, we'd be miles ahead. But we have people delivering lines (which are awful in their own right beyond the proper noun situation) containing things like "We must stop at Crematorium before heading to Helion Prime." NOTE: I am not making that up. Those are planet names. Also: "There was a prophecy that a Furion would destroy the Necromonger race." Say it with me kids, Ne-cro-mon-ger.
Now tell me you aren't howling with laughter.
The whole movie is like this. And on Megan's and I scale of bad movie awesomness this gets like twelve-bazillion inside-out dogs (you had to be there).
Actually, this movie sort of has inside out dogs. That purr. They're on the prison volcano planet (see: Crematorium) where the surface gets to be 800 degrees, but that's okay, because if Riddick pours water on himself, he just steams.
One of the weirder things about this film (and oh there is a lot of weird... some good, some bad, ninety percent of it beyond my descriptive powers) is that it manages to make direct reffereneces ot almost every sci-fi movie ever, and I suspect it doesn't realize it's doing it.
There's a really tough fighter guy with a big black ugly mohawk (Karl Urban, I didn't know you were in Highlander).
A blond guy gives a speech in which he says "I've done things you can't even imagine." (but have you seen troop ships on fire off the shores of Orion?)
Lots of Dune and Fifth Element references in the design.
Blatant Star Wars and Star Trek references
inevitable Matrix rip-off fighting
...and Kat sitting next to me going "by Grapthar's Hammer!"
There's inexplicable religious subtext. Weird homoerotic statues (to quote the idiots behind me, "did you see the faggot statue?!" -- they shouted this no less than three times), terrible Russian accents, a mention of child-prostitutes, ugly goth silver claw rings, bimbos is faux snakeskin dresses and Judi Dench wandering around -- all to varying degrees of effect, point and relevence.
It's truly one of the most awful things I've ever seen. But I howled with laughter for two hours, and you should all go, because it is that... astounding.
Unlike the first movie, which was actually good, mainly because they had no budget and no idea how people would react, and as such didn't try to punch upon moments in all sorts of cracked out ways, Chronicles of Riddick is ambitious. Embarassingly so.
First some things that are honestly positive:
- the design, while often absurd, is really fantastic and compelling
- Graeme Revell delivers a very nice score
- the ending (which is apparently a big twist, although I didn't think so) is exactly what it should be
But oh my god. First of all, if they had just renamed all the races and planets, we'd be miles ahead. But we have people delivering lines (which are awful in their own right beyond the proper noun situation) containing things like "We must stop at Crematorium before heading to Helion Prime." NOTE: I am not making that up. Those are planet names. Also: "There was a prophecy that a Furion would destroy the Necromonger race." Say it with me kids, Ne-cro-mon-ger.
Now tell me you aren't howling with laughter.
The whole movie is like this. And on Megan's and I scale of bad movie awesomness this gets like twelve-bazillion inside-out dogs (you had to be there).
Actually, this movie sort of has inside out dogs. That purr. They're on the prison volcano planet (see: Crematorium) where the surface gets to be 800 degrees, but that's okay, because if Riddick pours water on himself, he just steams.
One of the weirder things about this film (and oh there is a lot of weird... some good, some bad, ninety percent of it beyond my descriptive powers) is that it manages to make direct reffereneces ot almost every sci-fi movie ever, and I suspect it doesn't realize it's doing it.
There's a really tough fighter guy with a big black ugly mohawk (Karl Urban, I didn't know you were in Highlander).
A blond guy gives a speech in which he says "I've done things you can't even imagine." (but have you seen troop ships on fire off the shores of Orion?)
Lots of Dune and Fifth Element references in the design.
Blatant Star Wars and Star Trek references
inevitable Matrix rip-off fighting
...and Kat sitting next to me going "by Grapthar's Hammer!"
There's inexplicable religious subtext. Weird homoerotic statues (to quote the idiots behind me, "did you see the faggot statue?!" -- they shouted this no less than three times), terrible Russian accents, a mention of child-prostitutes, ugly goth silver claw rings, bimbos is faux snakeskin dresses and Judi Dench wandering around -- all to varying degrees of effect, point and relevence.
It's truly one of the most awful things I've ever seen. But I howled with laughter for two hours, and you should all go, because it is that... astounding.
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For me, this is a must have (by a gamer for gamers) bad movie.
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And that girl!
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You're right those name are ridiculous and that rotten names can ruin the entire thing, if that was the only problem. I know this myself all too well.
You know in the business, they don't call it making reference to, or even plagiarism, they call it hommage. Well, it's french for plagiarism to me.
You meant the below quote, I assume, from Blade Runner? I love that film. I have the Director's cut DVD, although I don't think you can find the original release anymore. Watching again I really see Ridley Scott's experience from Alien in it. Even down to strange electronic sound effects for the devices.
ROY BATTY
I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder* of Orion. I watched sea beams glitter in the dark near the Tenhauser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time like tears in rain. Time to die. (Dies)
* Orion is a constellation. Three blue giant stars make up his shoulders.
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Fantastically and enjoyably bad.
I agree with you about the positives, particularly the visually compelling design. I saw some great influences there (I'm not sure one can call it hommage): Escher, Giger, the future-noir of Bladerunner, among other things.
Awesome, and awesomely bad.