rm | sundries

I want to get my hair cut very very badly right now, and I think my only option is to do it tomorrow between work and a meeting about a play, or else I'm going to get locked into the current state of the hair for said play if I get it, and I really don't want that to happen, because right now it's the wrong shape, isn't me at my most marketable and besides isn't resonating at all with any of my current momentary fixations (not that cutting it off will help in the least, but you know, I do what I can).

Something shook loose or cracked open or something inside me in the last couple of days, because I've got a different attitude about a lot of things. It's nothing significant, just, I have a much clearer picture of what I do and don't have room for in my life and as much as that leaves me feeling more desirious in more arenas than I generally find convenient, it's a pleasant change. I'd be more specific, but the specificity makes it sound infinitely more trite than it is.

I have a peculiar and well developed sense of honour. Now, if I could just find its boundaries, I'd have even less need of people than I do now, and yet be infinitely more able to spend time with them and enjoy it. It's like a fucking milimeter out of my grasp.

I have one of those meetings with a director tomorrow that I kinda don't know if it's an audition, a meeting with a director, or if I'm being plugged into a rehearsal. I sort of hate that, when I don't know what it is, especially as Kat and I are trying to schedule a bad movie moment, but it seems like a promising and fun gig, so fingers crossed and all good things.