(no subject)
Sep. 28th, 2003 01:02 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rmA voice lesson that could best be described as frantic. The good news I have 15 bars which when I have my shit together, I can sing. The number of times I have almost burst into tears in the last two hours -- too many to mention.
Which of course means I turn inward for private dialogue, and came to a useful realization.
When I'm seeking approval, I pretty much suck at it. I am not a white fluffy kitty cat. When I'm being a con artist, I pretty much get what I want. Which means I need to view auditions not as a "please please please like me" process, but as a "dude, I _so_ know what I'm doing" process. Illuminating. *pets the nice people who live in her head*
Off to the Synagogue momentarily. Hoping I can find the time I need to cry. Am in a very wound, somewhat horrifying mental place.
And I'm still singing I Will Follow Him.
At least my voice teacher and I decided we should figure out my actual range to put on my resume. For anyone who cares my belt is E2 - C#4 and my head voice is F#2 - F#4. She thinks I _might_ be able to eventually push the belt to a D, and thinks I have a lot more head voice, I just have a huge problem getting over that second break. Anyway, she swears this is all perfectly respectable. I just think it helps with that part where I pretend like I know what I am doing.
I'm getting better at not calling people and ranting at them psychotically after auditions. I think that's important.
Which of course means I turn inward for private dialogue, and came to a useful realization.
When I'm seeking approval, I pretty much suck at it. I am not a white fluffy kitty cat. When I'm being a con artist, I pretty much get what I want. Which means I need to view auditions not as a "please please please like me" process, but as a "dude, I _so_ know what I'm doing" process. Illuminating. *pets the nice people who live in her head*
Off to the Synagogue momentarily. Hoping I can find the time I need to cry. Am in a very wound, somewhat horrifying mental place.
And I'm still singing I Will Follow Him.
At least my voice teacher and I decided we should figure out my actual range to put on my resume. For anyone who cares my belt is E2 - C#4 and my head voice is F#2 - F#4. She thinks I _might_ be able to eventually push the belt to a D, and thinks I have a lot more head voice, I just have a huge problem getting over that second break. Anyway, she swears this is all perfectly respectable. I just think it helps with that part where I pretend like I know what I am doing.
I'm getting better at not calling people and ranting at them psychotically after auditions. I think that's important.
