Ghosts (repost), Severus/OFC, 41/48
Nov. 26th, 2006 12:53 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rmGhosts (repost), Severus/OFC, 41/48
Rating: G – hard-R; this chapter G
Author’s Notes:
If you don’t know what this is, please read this.
Despite a recent tune-up, this was written in 2001 and is not compliant with the current state of the HP universe.
Before we knew Hooch’s actual first name, ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
tsarina named her Hana, and so here, Hannah she remains.
Your feedback and commentary are always welcome, even for a time capsule such as this.
You can find all chapters here.
If you’re looking for slash, het, poly, Book-6 compliant Slytherin backstory please visit the recently updated Fascilis Descensus Averno a WIP written with kalichan. It features Severus Severus, Lucius & Narcissa Malfoy, Bellatrix & Rodolphus Lestrange and Regulus Black and mostly takes place in 1979 – 1981 but has forays both significantly forward and back in time.
Disclaimer: It’s JKR’s world, I just mess about with it.
When he opened his eyes to find himself alone in the bed, he knew instinctively that she had gone, but he still forced himself to get up to check just to be sure. Once he was, all he could do was find his way back to bed to think, to doze, and to hold onto the fading notion that Allosia could ever be someone he'd be able to come home to.
"It would help if you had a home, Severus," he muttered to himself before curling into a ball and drawing the blankets over his head. The world and his meeting with the headmaster would simply have to wait until lunchtime.
He sighed in his cocoon and wondered if things would be different if he had given into her last night. It would certainly have made him more human which might have been more convincing than any exercise in truth she had planned.
Veritaserum. He had so many dreads associated with it, and with her. He was experienced enough at defeating it, a skill developed from years of telling the exact, technical and minimal truth in every situation he could, and that was part of the problem. He'd have to let it work, have to give up the habits that had kept him alive for so long. Even for a few hours this struck him as a deeply dangerous thing in which Allosia would not take the pleasure she expected.
The other problems were all logistical. Allosia was going to look for ways to not trust him, and so brewing the stuff himself was out of the question. He also doubted that she could do it without his assistance; as ever, she had all the knowledge, but lacked the precision.
With a groan he realized he was going to have to ask Albus if he could requisition some from the Ministry. And so on top of his guilt over the events at the party and his anger and misery when it came to Allosia, it now occurred to him to be embarrassed as well. While people generally annoyed and disappointed him, it was rare that he had this little desire to see another human ever again.
*
As he stepped into the Great Hall he was relieved to see that Allosia had probably decided to sleep through lunch. At least her insanity was good for something. Glancing down the student tables he noted that Malfoy was still amongst the missing and that Potter and his little gang were, as usual, animatedly whispering about something.
He stopped beside their place at the Gryffindor table and allowed himself a slow smile. They were too engrossed in their gossip to even notice him. All the better. He leaned down slowly, casting a shadow over them. The Weasley boy continued talking, but Potter seemed to sense something was wrong and Granger went dead still. "I thought," he declared loudly, making Ron jump and Harry groan, "that Gryffindors specialized in courage and bravery. So why is it then, that none of you can ever figure out that discretion is the better part of valor?" He glared down at them as if he expected an answer, but none of them dared. "Five points from Gryffindor," he declared and stalked off to take his seat at the head table.
It was petty of him, he realized. After all, he didn't even know what they were talking about, but he had still enjoyed it and he had to take this mood out on someone.
As the meal ended, the headmaster approached him. "Walk with me, Severus," he said, and Severus nodded grimly.
As they exited the castle, Severus started to see Hana Hooch sitting on the front steps of the castle with her broom at her feet talking animatedly with Allosia who had her head back in a full laugh. She caught his eye then, and he smiled at her grimly before she looked away. At least she had the decency to be embarrassed by this mess.
"Perhaps I should give you my report in your office, Albus," Severus said, looking to hide from at least some of his immediate problems.
"The sunlight will no doubt do us both good, come," he said and swept ahead of him and down the stairs.
Severus couldn't help but shoot a disapproving glance at Hooch and Allosia as he drifted after the older man.
As they walked, Severus filled Albus in on the events of the previous evening. Much like with Allosia, he told the story of the Malfoy party backwards. Albus seemed particularly interested in Draco's state of mind, and they speculated at length whether it might be possible to turn him from his new avocation. Severus was disgusted with himself as he explained just how dangerous that would be to his own mission.
"If he changes his mind, he changes his mind, but not only can I have no hand in that, it's my obligation in many ways, to make sure he doesn't."
The headmaster had sighed heavily at this, and as they walked Severus kept his head bowed, waiting for the anger and disappointment from the older man that he felt must be inevitable.
Instead, Albus merely said, "Had I known what pains logic can create, I would have made a point to go insane at a very young age."
Eventually, Severus gave Albus the barest of outlines as to what had happened when he had returned to Hogwarts before asking him to acquire the Veritaserum.
Albus hummed to himself for a moment, and then turned sharply to the professor. "Severus, I'll be honest with you. I think this is a terrible idea."
"So do I," he muttered.
"Trust is not a thing that comes from facts. This experiment, and I call it that because I know you both, and I can't imagine it will occur under controlled or appropriate circumstances, will at best produce facts but not meaning and not trust."
"It's also going to give me a vicious migraine."
Albus ignored the remark and continued. "Have you no reservations about this?"
"Of course I have reservations about this, Albus! I just see very little alternative. I would be personally indebted to you for whatever assistance you could offer and completely understand if you refuse me. That said," Severus paused here for effect, "considering the conversation I had with Lucius, Allosia's willingness to deal with me is directly relevant to larger goals now."
The headmaster sighed. "I will have to think on this Severus. It is complex, and I worry about you both."
"Thank you. You know I try not to ask for much here," he said bowing his head.
Albus put a hand on Severus's shoulder. "I know that you have much to make peace with, and your mistakes have been very grave, but the self-abasement serves none of us. I wish you would more enjoy the life you are somewhat lucky to have."
"Albus," he said through gritted teeth, "I'm trying."
The headmaster laughed then, and Severus just smiled weakly.
"When are we expecting Draco back?" Severus asked.
"His carriage should be arriving after the evening meal."
"I will be available to him, of course."
"Of course."
They walked in silence then. Severus, turning his head back towards the castle noticed Hooch had flown off somewhere, but that Allosia still sat there, watching him.
Rating: G – hard-R; this chapter G
Author’s Notes:
tsarina named her Hana, and so here, Hannah she remains.kalichan. It features Severus Severus, Lucius & Narcissa Malfoy, Bellatrix & Rodolphus Lestrange and Regulus Black and mostly takes place in 1979 – 1981 but has forays both significantly forward and back in time. Disclaimer: It’s JKR’s world, I just mess about with it.
When he opened his eyes to find himself alone in the bed, he knew instinctively that she had gone, but he still forced himself to get up to check just to be sure. Once he was, all he could do was find his way back to bed to think, to doze, and to hold onto the fading notion that Allosia could ever be someone he'd be able to come home to.
"It would help if you had a home, Severus," he muttered to himself before curling into a ball and drawing the blankets over his head. The world and his meeting with the headmaster would simply have to wait until lunchtime.
He sighed in his cocoon and wondered if things would be different if he had given into her last night. It would certainly have made him more human which might have been more convincing than any exercise in truth she had planned.
Veritaserum. He had so many dreads associated with it, and with her. He was experienced enough at defeating it, a skill developed from years of telling the exact, technical and minimal truth in every situation he could, and that was part of the problem. He'd have to let it work, have to give up the habits that had kept him alive for so long. Even for a few hours this struck him as a deeply dangerous thing in which Allosia would not take the pleasure she expected.
The other problems were all logistical. Allosia was going to look for ways to not trust him, and so brewing the stuff himself was out of the question. He also doubted that she could do it without his assistance; as ever, she had all the knowledge, but lacked the precision.
With a groan he realized he was going to have to ask Albus if he could requisition some from the Ministry. And so on top of his guilt over the events at the party and his anger and misery when it came to Allosia, it now occurred to him to be embarrassed as well. While people generally annoyed and disappointed him, it was rare that he had this little desire to see another human ever again.
*
As he stepped into the Great Hall he was relieved to see that Allosia had probably decided to sleep through lunch. At least her insanity was good for something. Glancing down the student tables he noted that Malfoy was still amongst the missing and that Potter and his little gang were, as usual, animatedly whispering about something.
He stopped beside their place at the Gryffindor table and allowed himself a slow smile. They were too engrossed in their gossip to even notice him. All the better. He leaned down slowly, casting a shadow over them. The Weasley boy continued talking, but Potter seemed to sense something was wrong and Granger went dead still. "I thought," he declared loudly, making Ron jump and Harry groan, "that Gryffindors specialized in courage and bravery. So why is it then, that none of you can ever figure out that discretion is the better part of valor?" He glared down at them as if he expected an answer, but none of them dared. "Five points from Gryffindor," he declared and stalked off to take his seat at the head table.
It was petty of him, he realized. After all, he didn't even know what they were talking about, but he had still enjoyed it and he had to take this mood out on someone.
As the meal ended, the headmaster approached him. "Walk with me, Severus," he said, and Severus nodded grimly.
As they exited the castle, Severus started to see Hana Hooch sitting on the front steps of the castle with her broom at her feet talking animatedly with Allosia who had her head back in a full laugh. She caught his eye then, and he smiled at her grimly before she looked away. At least she had the decency to be embarrassed by this mess.
"Perhaps I should give you my report in your office, Albus," Severus said, looking to hide from at least some of his immediate problems.
"The sunlight will no doubt do us both good, come," he said and swept ahead of him and down the stairs.
Severus couldn't help but shoot a disapproving glance at Hooch and Allosia as he drifted after the older man.
As they walked, Severus filled Albus in on the events of the previous evening. Much like with Allosia, he told the story of the Malfoy party backwards. Albus seemed particularly interested in Draco's state of mind, and they speculated at length whether it might be possible to turn him from his new avocation. Severus was disgusted with himself as he explained just how dangerous that would be to his own mission.
"If he changes his mind, he changes his mind, but not only can I have no hand in that, it's my obligation in many ways, to make sure he doesn't."
The headmaster had sighed heavily at this, and as they walked Severus kept his head bowed, waiting for the anger and disappointment from the older man that he felt must be inevitable.
Instead, Albus merely said, "Had I known what pains logic can create, I would have made a point to go insane at a very young age."
Eventually, Severus gave Albus the barest of outlines as to what had happened when he had returned to Hogwarts before asking him to acquire the Veritaserum.
Albus hummed to himself for a moment, and then turned sharply to the professor. "Severus, I'll be honest with you. I think this is a terrible idea."
"So do I," he muttered.
"Trust is not a thing that comes from facts. This experiment, and I call it that because I know you both, and I can't imagine it will occur under controlled or appropriate circumstances, will at best produce facts but not meaning and not trust."
"It's also going to give me a vicious migraine."
Albus ignored the remark and continued. "Have you no reservations about this?"
"Of course I have reservations about this, Albus! I just see very little alternative. I would be personally indebted to you for whatever assistance you could offer and completely understand if you refuse me. That said," Severus paused here for effect, "considering the conversation I had with Lucius, Allosia's willingness to deal with me is directly relevant to larger goals now."
The headmaster sighed. "I will have to think on this Severus. It is complex, and I worry about you both."
"Thank you. You know I try not to ask for much here," he said bowing his head.
Albus put a hand on Severus's shoulder. "I know that you have much to make peace with, and your mistakes have been very grave, but the self-abasement serves none of us. I wish you would more enjoy the life you are somewhat lucky to have."
"Albus," he said through gritted teeth, "I'm trying."
The headmaster laughed then, and Severus just smiled weakly.
"When are we expecting Draco back?" Severus asked.
"His carriage should be arriving after the evening meal."
"I will be available to him, of course."
"Of course."
They walked in silence then. Severus, turning his head back towards the castle noticed Hooch had flown off somewhere, but that Allosia still sat there, watching him.
