This was pretty much me in high school. Top scorer on the Honors Level for Academic Decathlon, newspaper editor, state AP scholar (5s on 5 tests, 4s on two tests), debate captain, had a play accepted for a reading at Young Playwrights in New York and ... it always felt like I was an underachiever. I barely missed graduating in the top 3 percent of my high school class -- with a 3.945 gpa. I was devastated when I got a 28 on my ACTs (36 is a perfect score), and still feel like an idiot because of that. The math brought me down. Also devastated because I won only a one year scholarship to my (state) university. I wanted to go Ivy-League, but I had a nervous breakdown after graduation and had to stay home so I wouldn't committ suicide.
I didn't do as well in university thanks to being sick and pretty much continuously, clinically depressed and inadequately treated (one therapist tried to basically blame the way I felt on me because I had a "personality disorder". Heh.). Didn't even graduate cum laude despite having a 3.8 gpa.
I still feel like a loser because of most of that, and I've been out of school for 3 years. Feeling like I do has prevented me from applying to a grad school as well because I don't think I'm good enough to get in. And I really want to go.
So, yeah. This isn't a newfangled 21st century phenomenon. It happened to girls who aren't too much older than these kids. It still effects them.
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Date: 2007-04-01 09:53 pm (UTC)I didn't do as well in university thanks to being sick and pretty much continuously, clinically depressed and inadequately treated (one therapist tried to basically blame the way I felt on me because I had a "personality disorder". Heh.). Didn't even graduate cum laude despite having a 3.8 gpa.
I still feel like a loser because of most of that, and I've been out of school for 3 years. Feeling like I do has prevented me from applying to a grad school as well because I don't think I'm good enough to get in. And I really want to go.
So, yeah. This isn't a newfangled 21st century phenomenon. It happened to girls who aren't too much older than these kids. It still effects them.