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rmWhile by and large society is preoccupied with thinking about female bodies, body image and body ideals, we sure do suck at discussing it.
Probably because it's not very catchy to say something like "it's good for your body to be the size it wants to be at its healthiest and good for you to enjoy the flesh you're living in to the utmost." Especially when most of us don't get to be as healthy as we want -- I'm not, and I'm one of the lucky ones.
Plus, it's much, much catchier to say stuff like "real women have curves" or "there's something wrong with you if you're attracted to fat/thin/boyish/thick/curvy/WHATEVER chicks" or to rag on people for being a size 4 or a size 24.
You know what? It all sucks. And I know men don't escape either -- on height and hair and width of shoulders, timbre of voice and god knows what else, but I can only tackle so much at once.
I will be the first to admit that I enjoy privlege by being a skinny chick. I get that. I really do. But being skinny doesn't make me less female and being boyish doesn't make me less deserving of desire and none of it, if I'm lucky, have sense, and work hard, should effect my sense of worth as a person.
This is one of those things that I want to write eloquently about, but know I probably can't without pissing someone off in same way I really don't intend.
I shouldn't have to always follow up any discussion of my size with "but I have celiac disease, it's not like I try to look like this." I also shouldn't have to deal with people, including medical professionals, assuming I have eating disorders because that's somehow easier than actually speaking to me.
I look the way I look. I happen to like it. It's probably a product of my celiac disease, other medical stuff and the fact that I danced 8-hours a day during large chunks of my childhood and work out like a maniac now because fencing owns me. I hope that I enjoy myself enough in general that I'd like the way I looked even if I were an entirely different size. I don't know. Given our society, I can't imagine I'd get away angst free. Hell, I barely, barely get away angst free now. After all, I'm making this post.
Because I believe in the fictional life, the self-created life, the multiple life, I'm not sure I know what a real anyone is. I'm certainly not going to sit here and say what a real woman or man or person is. I'm happily a bit fictional, but it isn't because I wear a size four.
We should be able to talk about our bodies without judging each other. We should be able to talk about what we desire without judging each other (who here has heard or intuited some version of "I want you so bad, but my friends wouldn't understand?" or been told that they can "do better" because the person they loved and thought was sexy beyond all sexy wasn't mainstream hot?).
I'm very happy in my very strangely fluid life. And if you don't think I'm a real woman, that's all well and good. But it's not because of my goddamn size.
Probably because it's not very catchy to say something like "it's good for your body to be the size it wants to be at its healthiest and good for you to enjoy the flesh you're living in to the utmost." Especially when most of us don't get to be as healthy as we want -- I'm not, and I'm one of the lucky ones.
Plus, it's much, much catchier to say stuff like "real women have curves" or "there's something wrong with you if you're attracted to fat/thin/boyish/thick/curvy/WHATEVER chicks" or to rag on people for being a size 4 or a size 24.
You know what? It all sucks. And I know men don't escape either -- on height and hair and width of shoulders, timbre of voice and god knows what else, but I can only tackle so much at once.
I will be the first to admit that I enjoy privlege by being a skinny chick. I get that. I really do. But being skinny doesn't make me less female and being boyish doesn't make me less deserving of desire and none of it, if I'm lucky, have sense, and work hard, should effect my sense of worth as a person.
This is one of those things that I want to write eloquently about, but know I probably can't without pissing someone off in same way I really don't intend.
I shouldn't have to always follow up any discussion of my size with "but I have celiac disease, it's not like I try to look like this." I also shouldn't have to deal with people, including medical professionals, assuming I have eating disorders because that's somehow easier than actually speaking to me.
I look the way I look. I happen to like it. It's probably a product of my celiac disease, other medical stuff and the fact that I danced 8-hours a day during large chunks of my childhood and work out like a maniac now because fencing owns me. I hope that I enjoy myself enough in general that I'd like the way I looked even if I were an entirely different size. I don't know. Given our society, I can't imagine I'd get away angst free. Hell, I barely, barely get away angst free now. After all, I'm making this post.
Because I believe in the fictional life, the self-created life, the multiple life, I'm not sure I know what a real anyone is. I'm certainly not going to sit here and say what a real woman or man or person is. I'm happily a bit fictional, but it isn't because I wear a size four.
We should be able to talk about our bodies without judging each other. We should be able to talk about what we desire without judging each other (who here has heard or intuited some version of "I want you so bad, but my friends wouldn't understand?" or been told that they can "do better" because the person they loved and thought was sexy beyond all sexy wasn't mainstream hot?).
I'm very happy in my very strangely fluid life. And if you don't think I'm a real woman, that's all well and good. But it's not because of my goddamn size.
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no subject
Date: 2007-05-28 06:37 am (UTC)I've said this so many times that I'm sure it's well understood - but for the benefit of the few who have not met you in person - it has never been about size , dress, costume, or preprogrammed look that has determined who and what you are - it has been the projection of self that hits a person about five minutes before you come within judgment distance of any other qualities. I only half joke about you being the next step in evolution of the human being , wherein the self and the projection of self is the alpha of expression and anything else is just window dressing. " Here comes a person ... " not a fashion statement, not a size,not a style nor an image prequalified and pidgeon-holed by external expectations of a world gone mad on itself.
Ive had SO many medical fights lately - from the nurse who told me ' honey the secret is to stop eating dessert ' ( something I have not done in years ) to the assumption that I'm double forking it at every buffet in town eight days a week. I've run the gamut from polite to explaining that physical damage was about to happen if the course of conversation did not shift.
As for the rest, let me quote my ex :
" You are the most brilliant soul I have ever met. You are the most emotionally supportive person I have known in my life outside of my father. I feel safe, and loved with you. I just need to be with someone more physically attractive. "