what part of blood and sodomy do you not understand?

[rm]

If big words, constant cursing, elitism or my utter intolerance for poorly behaved audiences offends you, turn back now.

Patty and I have just returned (well, I'm at work and she is encamped with me) from seeing Red Bull's Edward II at the behest of many, many friends. The audience was abominable, so much so that I am shocked no one lept out of their seat (or off the stage) to strangle the complete fuckwits sitting behind us.

How, exactly, do you wind up at a production of Marlowe's Edward II and not know that it involves a great deal of blood and sodomy? Granted, the twits behind us thought it was by Shakespeare.

The play, which preserves Marlowe's language is set in a heightened, quasi-modern reality and opens with a brief sequence set outside a gay bar.

"Well, they just got right to it didn't they?" the man behind me says very loudly.

This is a small theatre, and this is not a movie. I can hear you, the fucking actors can hear you, shut the fuck up.

But the highlight, as it were, came during an absolutely pivotal and brilliantly staged execution scene involving guns pointed at the audience. Two characters get rather believeable shot in the head. The gun is pointed at the third, and the complete arsehole behind me says very loudly, "Please, God, don't miss him."

THIS IS NOT A MOVIE. WE CAN ALL HEAR YOU.

I saw the actor twitch, and then continue on, but OH MY GOD, you bastard, what gives you the right to take every single person in that room out of that moment?

Fury and wrath.

At the end, this same prick was complaining about all the TMI. It's a play. Plays don't have TMI. They have stories that you either find relevant, enjoyable or necessary or not. For the love of god it's Marlowe -- gay, athiest, spy -- WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU EXPECT?

Other than that, the play was utterly exceptional -- particularly in staging and performance. I have a lot to say about it, but I have to stop seething first.

Comments

[kiji-kat.livejournal.com]

Ugh. Behavior like that is why theycallmeboy and I have determined that the following clip should be played before every film showing, theater performance, etc.:



Lays it out nice and easy for everyone to understand, yes?

[upstart-crow.livejournal.com]

I am utterly shocked and disgusted! For the audience's behalf and the actors' - particularly the one his antics almsot interrupted. How dare he?!?

I think people who do that should be escorted out of any performance venue, be it a play, a concert or even a film. It's acceptable to bellow and behave like a moron at a basketball game or at NASCAR. That's part and parcel of sporting events, and a huge part of their fun (I say this as someone who loves going to basketball games and screaming "AAIIIRRR BALLLLL!!!1111", so I'm not being elitist at all).

This is part of why I'm often rather ambivalent towards television. I think it's helped to create this kind of attitude.

[upstart-crow.livejournal.com]

That's awesome! And to think, I've never been that partial to Aqua Teen Hunger Force! Nice!

[dipping_sauce]

Urgh.

My dad would pull shit like that all the time; it was like if he didn't enjoy something, he would make sure no one else did either.

[kiji-kat.livejournal.com]

I know! It's apparently at the beginning of the ATHF movie, which I still haven't seen and need to. There's a part of my sense of humor that's basically a 14-16 year old teenage boy, despite the fact that I'm a 26 year old woman.

I share that clip every chance I get. The last time I did it, I was in Ireland visiting with one of my boyfriend's (<lj user= theycallmeboy) friends. He and I both love the clip, and by the time it was done we were both flopping around like fish on her couch, utterly breathless from laughter. She agreed with our "show it as a public service" proposal, by the way. ;)

[starkeee.livejournal.com]

I'll be curious to hear your (non-audience-induced) thoughts. I saw it at the end of December and found it riveting.

[rm.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I loved it and I can't shake it. I'll probably write something cogent about it tomorrow.

[jaspamaster.livejournal.com]

MMMM I usually yell at the person in the movie theater who starts describing that action by pointing out "its a 50 foot screen fucktard I think everyone noticed it now shut up'.

now I do take exception to the "this is not a movie" since he would be just as annoying movie or play!

[feyandstrange.livejournal.com]

You have just reminded me that I really do need to own a taser.

And that I should go to the theater more often, although honestly these two things are not normally connected. Although in that case? I would have at least threatened violence.

Ushers with tasers, maybe.

[go-orgoahead.livejournal.com]

I heart Marlowe. But not as much as I heart Moliere.

[wyrdwriter.livejournal.com]

I've said before, but I will say it again:

It should NOT be illegal to strangle somebody to death if they are talking in the theatre during a performance. Bludgeoning them to death should also be OK. The rude asses have it coming.

[crystalsage.livejournal.com]

If I was that actor with the gun, I would have stopped, walked out into the audience and put the gun to the guys head and said "Hey, I never miss..."

I bet he would have gotten a standing ovation.

"Other than that, how was the play, Mrs. Lincoln?"

[ellen-kushner.livejournal.com]

OK, sorry - how could I resist?

My feelings about your audiencemate can only be imagined. Too bad the actor didn't just turn the gun on him - *that* would have helped break down the old third wall. . . .

Last weekend I took my brother & his wife to see a friend in I LOVE YOU YOU'RE PERFECT NOW CHANGE (which is, for the record, a lot more entertaining than you'd expect). At a weekend matinee. Where people with ginormous hair got in a huge pissing match about whose rude behavior was annoying the other more. Honestly. It was kind of entertaining - sure kept the actors from falling asleep! I thought everything had settled down after the intermission, but suddenly, out of the blue, the guy said to the woman in front of him, "Excuse me, but your hair is too high and is annoying me. Can you do something about that?" Things escalated from there . . . .

Some people just don't know how to have fun in public without bothering the rest of us.

[ithinkitisayit.livejournal.com]

"I think people who do that should be escorted out of any performance venue, be it a play, a concert or even a film. "
I'm surprised he wasn't. I've never been to a play, and I'm guessing you weren't at the Gershwin Theatre, but I've heard that you get kicked out of it (the Gershwin Theatre) if you sing along with the musical aspects.

And I'm confused why any business would let someone making bad comments stay in the audience. You wind up losing them as a customer, maybe, but you would've already lost them *anyways* since they would've gone home and complained about the horrible morals of the company because of the play.

And really, why would you want rude customers in the first place?!

Re: "Other than that, how was the play, Mrs. Lincoln?"

[rm.livejournal.com]

My feelings about your audiencemate can only be imagined. Too bad the actor didn't just turn the gun on him - *that* would have helped break down the old third wall. . . .

Seriously, I turned to Patty later and said, "God help me, if I'd been on that stage... I would have look the bastard right in the eye and said, 'I never miss' before going on with the thing."

Matinees are the devil. When I was doing Counselor-at-Law we always had loud cranky old people yelling at the characters: "No, George! Don't do it! She's a hussy!" It was amazing.

Did anyone get ejected from that performance? That sounds astounding.

Anyway, I actually just posted about the play.