Dear Torchwood Fandom,

[rm]

Dear Torchwood Fandom,

I am as much about Jack/Ianto as many of the rest of you, BUT, perhaps you have not noticed, these are two really fucked up people in fucked up circumstances with a distinctive disinclination towards monogamy.

So, can we please stop writing fics that involve Jack cooing over how adorable Ianto is? or making him breakfast in bed? Or saying "I love you" every two seconds?

BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT THOSE GUYS. Even in happy ending fics (which I like), even when they are taking comfort from each other (which is probably how it evolved out of Ianto trying to get Lisa into the Hub) and even when they're in love with each other (which I can totally buy).

Ianto is both weirdly innocent and incredibly fucking devious and generally pretty at sea and FILLED WITH TRAUMA and also tough as nails. And Jack is actually out of his goddamn mind. And immortal (more or less). And a huge slut. And a very manly man. Mostly. And also, FILLED WITH TRAUMA, and I don't mean screaming girl trauma for either of them, okay?

So, please, pelase, please, people, let these characters be into each other on their own terms, not your unimaginative heteronormative romance novel crap.

Also, didn't we learn anything about sickeningly cute and character inappropriate nicknames from the Harry Potter fandom?

Thank you.

Gah. I hate new fandoms.

Comments

[legionseagle.livejournal.com]

Depends whether you consider principal female character walking in on two male characters half naked with unzipped flies in a greenhouse, both bumping and grinding against each other while gasping and sweating frantically, and male character A's hand down male character B's trousers in position suggesting "hand job" as a "hint" really.

Follow up dialogue;
Female character (rushing out) "Oh my God, I'm so sorry" before collapsing into fit of giggles near her desk.
Male character A (rushing out carefully (ish) concealing his unbuttoned fly): No, don't worry about it.
Male character B (strolling out, fly unzipped). "Always room for one more. We could have used you an hour ago, when we were playing hide and seek.
Male character A: He always cheats.

[zvi-likes-tv.livejournal.com]

So sorry, but that was naked hide and seek. I remember because I was watching with a friend and we both spent fifteen minutes trying to figure out how either nudity improved hide and seek or hide and seek made for good foreplay. We came to the conclusion that it didn't actually sound like that much fun.