sundries

[rm]

- After working from 6am - 10am and 9pm - 2am yesterday, I've slept, but I'm tired. Worn down and aching for no good reason.

- Does EVERYONE in New York know the In the Heights kid?

- Last night in my workplace exhaustion I had a thought about male vs. female body language that's intriguing me. More when I test it out, but I'm pretty sure I'm right.

- Fencing. Fencing fencing fencing. This three days a week thing is starting to wear at me. Which is fine, which is sort of the point. But three days a week means that there is never a day when I'm not thinking about it now and that's a lot. Also, despite high ceilings, it is nearly impossible to practice saber in my apartment, which is driving me a little nuts.

- Need to seriously refocus on the lesbian werewolf story.

Comments

[random-girl.livejournal.com]

There are some serious differences between how men and women behave in various settings, and are expressed in body language. Stereotypes about how men or women should behave act on the perceiver of the body language in different ways.

A base example of differences:
Women nod and give more positive non-verbal feedback when someone is speaking in a group setting. If you watch, the men who are speaking (or the women) revisit the faces of women in the group twice as often as the men, looking for that feedback.

Perceptual differences:
I'm reading "Ask For It" a book on negotiation as a woman. Most women don't negotiate their intial starting salaries. They assume what they're being given is appropriate to the position, while most men do negotiate it. Women who do negotiate are often viewed with suspicion, and if they push for what they want, and construed to be negative in their behavior patterns.

Manly body language in a woman often is met with negative stereotypes. I played in a LARP once, where my character was a vampire (please forgive me for using this as an example). Obviously, since I was playing her, and I'm a smallish woman with a round, cherub like face, acting like more normal self did not inspire the appropriate behavior in the game. So I began walking forward on my feet (as I had watched males do) instead of back on my heels. I leaned in when I spoke. I invaded personal space until people stepped back to let me settle where I would. I ceased giving feedback when people were speaking unless I agreed with the message.

People got freaked out.

The rumor mill had me a severe bad ass in real life, as well as in the game setting because of the behaviors. Several guys who had been pestering about the poly or non poly status of my relationship backed off (and in some cases, ran away). We're not, btw, poly, so this was a relief. Many women, however, started hitting on me.

So yeah. First hand, there are major differences. However, you can use them to your advantage, from presenting a front a mugger doesn't want to mess with to encouraging people in high places to seek your approval in a group setting.

[rm.livejournal.com]

These ones I all know, this is actually a new one I feel like I've stumbled on (at least for me), although it connects to the heels vs. toes thing a little. I want to play with it at fencing tonight and see if it works.

Also a lot of what you described is why I just can't work in offices. I refuse to be the bad guy because I have self-respect.

[random-girl.livejournal.com]

I think one of the reasons I do so well in an office is that I'm aware of all the non-verbal chatter, and how to use it to my advantage.

I am, btw, really impressed with you and acting. I can pretend in real life to get what I want, but every time I've tried to recite someone else's words in front of an audience I come across as so fake it hurts to watch. You seem very genuine (from the brief Law and Order clip) I saw; I'm fairly certain you're not a gothic, feminine club goer as a main part of your regular life. But you pretend much better than I ever would.

[stardragonca.livejournal.com]

To speak someone else's words, or words previously thought of, in public, while appearing natural, it is necessary to mimic what we all do spontaneously in day today life.
First we think, then we move, then we speak. Any other order seems forced, even if we don't know why.