sundries

[rm]

- As you probably gathered, I had a huge row with my parents yesterday, that started when my father called me to tell me I was a terrible daughter who didn't love her mother because I hadn't, in fact, called my mother in the last seven days. While I often call my mom twice a week, I can also usually get to it only every ten days or so. Nothing I had done was out of the ordinary, and that it never occurred to my father to ask how I was or wonder if I hadn't called because something was wrong was pretty outrageous and then cycled through all the usual shit wherein I only exist in relation to their desires and apparently fail at life because of my sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll lifestyle (note: I have seen and done a lot, but even at my party hardiest you'd be hard pressed to describe my life like that even though it totally included all those things).

- Adding insult to the usual injury was that I had sent my parents email not five minutes earlier with some photos in it and some links to the Victory of Eagles coverage. Photos and my parents are always complicated as they have a lot of fun with my ability to costume and are certainly used to me playing the boy (often at their encouragement in my childhood). On the other hand, after I came out to them they've kept asking if there's anything else they need to know, and so I work hard to understand that their antennae are up for some sort of trans drama that actually isn't going to happen but I'd still like to not have an argument about -- the nuances of my life and the aggressiveness of my advocacy for others aren't things they comprehend. So I sent them the fabulous black and white polaroid, because it is amazing, but only with the girly photo from last night too. Of course, though, because of the drama my father is refusing to read his email, because that would refute his notion that I'm the horrible person he says I am.

- Finally, on that front, my father has had a severe ear infection for several months and is on hardcore drugs for it. It seems like it's being quasi resistant, though, at least from what is being described to me. I have a bad feeling about the whole thing. Something ongoing, essentially minor, but refusing to heal at my father's age is not a good sign and someone should probably be panicking instead of yelling at me.

- Rob Breszney's ability to keep up with my neuroses as displayed via my obsessions is AMAZING:

In the same way, Libra, fixing the problems that are vexing your personal sphere must be the task of the whole group, not just the boss or leader. I suggest you work on convincing everyone to take more responsibility and be more accountable.

- Work: slowly unfucking, at least partially. Money is almost current and they are at least now working with me on the health insurance issue, where the snafu, which originally started with my office may now be with the insurance co.

- Started Doctor Who, Series 3 last night.

- Still need to deal with that whole TV/cable thing before Patty comes home. I'll call in tomorrow since I'm trying to slam through some deadlines today.

- Days should never be so hard that you feel like you have personal integrity just for getting through them.

- 1 week.

Comments

[fleur.livejournal.com]

it never occurred to my father to ask how I was or wonder if I hadn't called because something was wrong

That's a nice feeling from your loved ones, isn't it? I've been through that, too.

[rm.livejournal.com]

Especially when things were in fact wrong!

I am so fucking sick of this shit.

[fleur.livejournal.com]

I often felt like S was just honestly looking for a reason to be mad at me ... in essence, picking a fight, but waiting for at least one tiny germ of a justification so it wouldn't come off as straight up picking a fight.

(The last straw was when she came unglued on me for not going to someone else's birthday party. Instead of finding out if I was sick or dead in a car accident on the way there, she screamed at me for being a worthless shitty friend who let people down.)

[zarq.livejournal.com]

Nothing I had done was out of the ordinary, and that it never occurred to my father to ask how I was or wonder if I hadn't called because something was wrong was pretty outrageous...

Damnit. That's particularly nasty. :( I'm sorry. :(

I wish I could offer more than sympathy and commiseration. I used to go through this with my dad and I never found a constructive way to deal with it. After a while, I used to just hang up on him when he became intolerably abusive. Eventually, we stopped talking completely.

[kalmn.livejournal.com]

i am also a libra, and i really don't like this week's horoscope. yes, i can't fix everything by myself. yes, i should encourage people to do their part of the work. but if i can't manage to convince them to do it, well, then, it's their fault for not doing it, not my fault for not having convinced them.

[rm.livejournal.com]

Good point. For me I took it as a useful note because I've been in the throes of this "I will lead because everyone else is a fucking idiot" mode lately -- quite legitimately. But really. I'm being ridiculous, so I took it in that regard.

Days should never be so hard that you feel like you have personal integrity just for getting through

[stardragonca.livejournal.com]

I submit for your consideration that your days have recently been so hard that only your personal integrity is getting you through them.
And, no, you are most correct: life shouldn't be this %$#@$ hard.

Re: Days should never be so hard that you feel like you have personal integrity just for getting thr

[apel.livejournal.com]

What she said.

[chaos-by-design.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry you have to deal with that crap. Your parents do sound like they're being tools.

[marchek.livejournal.com]

Sorry about all the crazy you're having to deal with right now. I hope you have recovered from your gluten incident and feeling better.

On a brighter note, how do you feel about Doctor Who, Season 3 so far?

[rm.livejournal.com]

I'm still in pain, but it's better today.

So far I've only seen the Christmas special (eh, big EH) and the first episode of the season, which I think has potential, but I'm like, right, you're in PAIN, got it. And I like that, but random mentions of it in the farce I already don't like -- annoying.

I'm totally trying to burn my way through these fast, because OMG, I've been dying to get to the end of this season forever.

Started Doctor Who, Series 3 last night.

[stardragonca.livejournal.com]

I remember when the 8th Doctor movie aired in Canada.
We had a big Parvo (bad contagious virus that kills dogs)scare, and unrelated concerns with the safety of our well water. Multiple sprayings of two acres with bleach, seriously contemplating having to shoot any foxes or skunks that came on the property, and other horrors.
I commented on the phone to a friend I'd gone to University with:How bad is it that new Dr. Who is the highlight of my year?

We take strength from where we find it, yes we do.

[awe-struck.livejournal.com]

Sorry you had that kind of day.

Parents can be a trip. It is so difficult when they are difficult. We tolerate things from them that we would never tolerate from someone else.

I hope all of you feel better.

SQEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE for Patty coming home soon.

[abbismom.livejournal.com]

How come I get the idea that if you were to find a cure for all kinds of cancer and invited your parents to the Nobel Peace Prize awards ceremony at which you were the most honored guest your folks' only response would be, "Oh, are you really going to wear THAT?"