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[rm]

http://www.thebostonchannel.com/cnn-news/19141470/detail.html

BOSTON -- Sirdeaner Walker, 44, has been surrounded by family after discovering her son, Carl Walker-Hoover, 11, hanging by an extension cord in the third-floor landing of the family's Northampton Avenue home in Springfield.

Walker said her boy, upset yet again over another bullying episode at school, had committed suicide.

"They were always saying, 'you're gay, you must be gay, you act like a girl,'" said Walker.

Comments

[imaginarycircus.livejournal.com]

That is heartbreaking.

[filkerdave.livejournal.com]

ANd this is why I don't allow my kids to use "gay" in any negative sense at all.

Horrible.

[santousha.livejournal.com]

This is horrible.
When will people learn that words hurt.

[woogledesigns.livejournal.com]

I think they know that words hurt, that's why they use them.

[blackbird-song.livejournal.com]

Too fucking close to home.

[nex0s.livejournal.com]

OMG. This is awful.

Christ, what a gorgeous looking kid. Look at him! :(

Awful, awful.

N.

[ladyaelfwynn.livejournal.com]

This is the sort of report that leaves me spluttering incoherently.

Where were that boys parents? Didn't they know how much turmoil he was in? Where the hell was the school administration? Why didn't they do more to protect their students. What were the bully's parents doing? Didn't they care that their kid was tormenting a classmate?

Too many people's apathy has lead to a confused and hurting young person ending his life because he couldn't take it any more. I hope something good can come out of this.

[silmaril.livejournal.com]

I can't even... Poor child. Poor everyone.

[jkpolk.livejournal.com]

A couple of months ago one of my cousins unexpectedly killed himself. Nobody could figure out why and all his note said was "I'm sick of the lies".

There's speculation he was gay and felt he had to hide it, given a variety of factors.

And even the possibility of that made me so sad. Living in liberalville I find myself thinking we've reached a place where that doesn't happen anymore. The harrassment, the shame... But it's very jarring to see it's not true.

[1-mad-squirrel.livejournal.com]

Oh God. I'm passing this on.

[cantkeepsilent.livejournal.com]

I can't help but think of the NOM commercial that made the rounds yesterday. You know, the one with the fictionally anguished woman saying "I am a Massachusetts parent helplessly watching public schools teach my son that gay marriage is okay." Were she to exist, I wonder if she would be relieved that the New Leadership Charter School in Springfield has a different message for their students.

[wcg.livejournal.com]

Damn. What a loss.

[acathartes.livejournal.com]

There are no words. That a child as young as eleven should turn to suicide as the only way out... and that so many people recall their parents saying, in so many words, "What have you done to make people hate you?" --All I can say is that if that's not Jesus on the cross all over again, I don't know what it is.

[billijean.livejournal.com]

Why is this still happening? god.

[woogledesigns.livejournal.com]

I keep asking myself that. I'm like: 'This is the 21st century! What the fuck do you lot think you're playing at- you're acting like you just stepped out of the cave?!'

[tearsinger.livejournal.com]

I was bullied like crazy in middle school. My mother and I both when to the administration and they did nothing.

I learned that adults are not powerful -- and even parents cannot save you.

I took me starting a fight and bashing a girl's head into the floor to make it stop. My family had to advocate to me to make it a physical thing -- and to hurt just one person and it would not happen again.

They were right. Luckily, the person I chose to hurt was not myself.

This happened near here. I am disturbed.

I don't have words for this.

[the-ogre.livejournal.com]

It angers me hugely, but I don't know what kind of things can be done in situations like this.

Re: I don't have words for this.

[abbismom.livejournal.com]

Quoting those well-written lyrics:

"Teach your children well."

It would surprise me if a teacher hadn't heard the taunting before and chose to ignore it. It would surprise me if the parents of those who had taunted had really, really addressed this issue with their kids. Benign neglect can kill.

[valancy-joy.livejournal.com]

My word. It's beyond horrible.And at eleven. But then I was terrorized in middle school when I was eleven, so ...

I remember, after my parents tried to do something to help the situation, being dragged into the guidance counselor's office and forced to name my tormenters, who were then pulled in and all of us were given the "now lets see if we all can't just get along" speech.

not. effective.

and that whole "words will never hurt you" bullshit -- total crap.

[nancylebov.livejournal.com]

My mother kept asking me what I'd done to the kids who harassed me. I didn't realize until I read this thread that sort of parental reaction was fairly common.

From what I can gather, a school trying to intervene in particular cases doesn't work all that well, but setting up an anti-bullying culture in the school does.

I recommend Frank Schaeffer's _Crazy for God_ for a fair degree of stereotype-busting. It's relevant to this thread because it describes a school with a proud tradition of no bullying. In Britain. In the 50s.

[systris.livejournal.com]

This article reminds me of too many things and people and places I regret not doing damage to. Bullying hurts now,then and always...along with 'just ignore them' and 'words don't hurt' that 'time heals all wounds' crap is bullshit too

just ignor them

[perlandria.livejournal.com]

Oh I hated that.
One example...
Yea, and how easy is it to ignore being cornered by someone 6 inches taller, a star athlete, and quite a bit heavier carrying a piece of classroom equipment that amounts to a cane, who puts death threat letters in my locker? Ignore that? In what sane world?
Although the bit which still turns my head sideways was having one of the popular kids who was an ally later ask me why I didn't clearly and verbally say the word 'no'. Like she didn't have permission to step in until that happened? WTF people!

...

That poor child. That poor mother.

[alabastard.livejournal.com]

Absolutely heartbreaking.

[lovefromgirl.livejournal.com]

My heart is with them. I hope he is free of his anguish -- and that the anguish of his torturers has only just begun.

[hyrkanian.livejournal.com]

I cannot imagine the rage and the sorrow this boy's family is experiencing. My younger son is ten. The thought of a child just a year older than him so tormented and miserable as to commit suicide has me in tears.

[sociallyawkrd.livejournal.com]

While there are many reasons my child isn't allowed to use the word gay in a negative sense (or out anyone! positive or not) this is one of the reasons. And I was incredibly happy when he reported another 3rd grader was calling boys gay in the bathroom and he looked at him and said "I am not gay, but if I was it would be ok and if anyone in here is gay, it is ok. You shouldn't be saying things that you mean to hurt people with" Sadly, where I live I can assure you being called gay wouldn't be considered bullying. It would be considered correcting bad behavior.

[abbismom.livejournal.com]

There's still so much work left for us to do. I absolutely hate that it's too late for Carl. My dearest hope is that every single person who taunted that child (or allowed it to happen) realizes that they helped killed him and join the fight because of it.