rm | acts of will

I _am_ going to get paid today, because I say so. Then I'm going to pay all my bills, buy a gift, do a few nice things for myself, and put the rest of it my Australia fund.

I am also going to rock my callback, because I say so. Weirdly (embarassingly?) I've never had a callback before -- I've either been cast right off, or you could actually say the same thing for the negative outcome -- that's sorta of funny. And I think the monologue I want in the piece has realy shifted -- obviously, I'd be happy with anything, but the piece I was trying to stay away from and then read at the audition anyway is great and I surprised the hell out of myself with it and I think I could blow an audience away with it. But I'd also be really happy with the piece I went into wanting, because it's challenging in an entirely different way and also gives me a chance to blow people away, but albeit in a funny way, because of the moaning thing at the end. What I do realize in retrospect is that I was a lot smarter in choosing sides than a lot of people who auditioned, in that I chose two with extremely significant contrast. That was on accident though, the monitor had said everyone was reading the same ones and then told me which, so I went elsewhere, and in fact used that as permission to do the piece I had felt I should advoid (because I'm starting to think that like photographs, the monologue I like isn't necesarily the monologue that sells me).

I am wearing the same thing I wore to the first audition, because I read in a book you're supposed to do that or else directors and casting folk get confused. So that's what I'm doing, eventhough I feel totally weird about it.