sundries

[rm]

I'm getting better. But, UGH.

So I'm really stewing about Torchwood, series 3. I'm not ready. I'm not. So often I've gotten into something after the fact, so I've been just, you know, ready. Whatever happened had already happened, and so it was fine. But this isn't that, and while I largely don't believe the Ianto death rumours (I'm 110% certain Rhys is doomed), I'm actually scared they're true. And for me, Ianto's demise would be rather interesting. Normally it's the characters I identify with that die; not the ones the characters I identify with have a thing for. I imagine that hurts differently. And aside from all the reasons I don't want Ianto to die: the fandom flailing will be more than I can take. I suppose, if it happens, let it be a better, less stupid death than Snape got. (Snape's death was supposed to be this awesome catharsis for me, instead we got... snake bubble to the head? He was just a creepy stalker? yeah... sorry, no.)

Anyway, this hit me today, reading a fic, and me grokking why fandom is so fucking in love with the Jack/Ianto thing. Because it's not that Jack's a charming asshole and Ianto is so put upon -- nope, those fics, in my mind, get it wrong. Where it works, where it's compelling, where it's the fairytale that drags us all in is that when Jack apologizes, when Ianto apologizes -- it actually enough. There are no deal-breakers, not because they are codependent morons, but because they'll both do anything to make up for their former sins. And it's enough. It's enough. In real life, there's all sorts of things where nothing ever could be enough. That's what's compelling -- not the are they in love or aren't they question -- but the ability to absolve and be absolved. It's the loyalty. It's the trying to do better, even if they're both doomed to be fuckups. It's what's appealing about Gwen too. And Rhys. And Owen. See, this show is often a crappy piece of shit, but sometimes it's fucking beautiful.

So this is me saying, I'M NOT READY YET.

On that note, worked on EtGB last night. We're coming along. Next part soonish.

I've heard back from one of three sport fencing salles I wrote to, and will be visiting next week. Their training schedule for "beginning" fencers is far less rigorous than what I've been used to, but one assumes I'll be able to get out of rank beginner status quickly, so I can do more. Also, I could do multiple weapons at once (saber. I will do saber, and I will be good, so very very good and fuck everyone) to resolve of this, I suppose. The whole thing still feels weird to me, but this is how things are, this is what must needs be done.

It was a hard weekend. The weather in my head sucked. But Patty was great, and it was a good team-building weekend, so hey.

And OMG, redstapler just linked me to gluten-free Asian food in NYC (my last place closed). Tempura! Dumplings! WILL BE MINE.

If I'm feeling well enough, I'm going to try to write the railroad story tonight.

Comments

[bodlon.livejournal.com]

I am doing the same thing I did before S2, and I'm doing it with extreme stubbornness. Whenever I start to get tense about S3, I sit myself down and remind myself that I can't judge the thing before it airs. Yeah, I've seen spoiler pics. Yeah, I know some of what's going to happen. But I haven't seen the whole thing, I've got only a little context.

But yeah. I get your tension. There are whole months of my calendar (yeah, I have a TW calendar in my office) that make me wince to look at them. Because, damn S2. Ouch.

I'm taking the optimistic view that everybody lives. I like this view. It makes me happy. After all, we had cruel and sudden death last series, and you can't play that card too often or it loses its punch.